'This man doesn't like you': Helpless boyfriend neglects to give girlfriend a Christmas gift despite her begging for one

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 30, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Giving a gift is a super easy way to show you care about someone. This is why it's one of the 5 love languages. It shows that you're thinking about them, and that you know something about who they are and what they enjoy. It doesn't come naturally to everyone, though. Some of us are better gift givers than others. For example, one of my friends gives the most thoughtful gifts every year that it could make you cry (and usually does). While another friend of mine manages to consistently pick out things I wouldn't wear, or items I wouldn't keep in my house. 

However, as they say, it's the thought that counts. All that matters is that they put a little effort into something-- it doesn't matter the result. That's why this story struck such a nerve, when a boyfriend couldn't even manage to try giving something to his beloved. Read on for the story. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10448627200
    via Unsplash+ (Nini FromParis)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA for wanting a gift on xmas?
    via u/Objective_Buyer_8649
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    My significant other has never been great at gift giving, but used to try. For the last few years however, though I always get him multiple thoughtful gifts like things he really likes or needs, he just ...doesn't bother? If I get anything at all for any holidays from him it's usually weeks to months late. This
    via u/Objective_Buyer_8649
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    year I SPECIFICALLY asked, begged even, for a gift to open on Christmas day. I even said to get something stupid from the dollar store, ANYTHING, and told him how it hurt that he never thought enough anymore to take the time out to get me anything at all. He promised he would. Several times.
    via u/Objective_Buyer_8649
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    Well its christmas eve, and he works tomorrow so I gave him his gift early. After opening it he's told me mine will be here next week. I asked "will I have anything to open...?" "Yeah, when it gets here and I wrap it"
    via u/Objective_Buyer_8649
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    ...I'm just absolutely hurt. And he's gone to bed after seeing how it crushed me, annoyed at my reaction. AITA here? I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts, I am just hurt to have been left feeling un-thought-of after specifically asking for weeks for anything at all.
    via u/Objective_Buyer_8649
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    lizbaby42 • 5d ago Now that you know how he feels about you, use the money you would spend on him to buy a gift for yourself. Open it in front of him, thank him for the gift and go on your merry way. Unless he's
    via u/lizbaby42
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    as dumb as a rock, eventually he will get it. In the meantime, you will have something you like and something to open. Make the gift more extravagant and expensive every year and enjoy! NTA but you need to trade in your husband for a better model.
    via u/lizbaby42
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    No_bwhitt9101 · 6d ago NTA. I'm so sorry, but he's not that into you anymore. His actions speak volumes. Find someone who values you enough to do more than the bare minimum (your significant other is not acting like you are significant to him).
    via u/No_bwhitt9101
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    Kindly-Philosoph... . 5d ago This man doesn't like you. NTA
    via u/Kindly-Philosopher22
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    heybigirl 6d ago NTA - its perfectly normal to have needs and express them to your partner, a good one would want to listen and do what makes you happy! you dont want anything expensive, just to be tought about, its perfectly normal and he is being careless
    via u/heybigirl
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    Aggressive_Cattl... . 5d ago NTA. You said he used to at least try. I'd ask him to explain what has changed between that time and now, because his behavior certainly has changed.
    via u/Aggressive_Cattle320
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    If you have talked and pleaded and he still refuses. to think about anyone but himself, then this may be all there is. I'd begin to question how much you and your relationship means to him. You are not asking for too much, by any means. I'm sorry that he is not giving you the respect you deserve.
    via u/Aggressive_Cattle320
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    . anglflw 5d ago Who raises these people?
    via u/anglflw
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    EgooNj . 5d ago. NTA. I bought my own gifts and packed them under the tree this year. My kids had asked for the last years if I was bad since Santa never got me gifts... NTA, I dropped hints, sent messages and still got nothing. Please note this is not out of financial issues she bought herself gifts and our 3 kids.
    via u/EgooNj
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    mumtaz2004 • 5d ago I'd have to agree with the others on here saying that it might be time to move on. Truly, I have given more. thoughtful gifts to my neighbors and mail carrier. You gave your SO a wide berth and he still failed.
    via u/mumtaz2004
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    Upset-Afternoon... . 5d ago . would stop spending money on his a and spend it on yourself. I was totally down. with not exchanging gifts this year with my husband, but all sudden he brought me a couple of gifts, so that's when I decided to get him a
    via u/Upset-Afternoon-25
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    couple of gifts. I match my husband vibe on stuff. IE he did not get me anything for mothers Day well. Guess what he got sh for Father's days. You really need to sit down and have a conversation about what your needs are, and if he is not going to put in some effort to fulfill your needs, then bye Felicia. Men are dime a dozen.
    via u/Upset-Afternoon-25
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    elsie78. 5d ago. Y.T.A. if this is important to you and you stay with him. He's repeatedly shown you, you are not a priority to him. NTA. Yes you deserve a gift, on time and thoughtful to your interests. Match his energy from here on out. No gifts.
    via u/elsie78
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    Top_Bluejay_5323 • 5d ago NTA. As the saying goes, it's not the gift it's the thought that counts. You need to put his gift aside and let him give first. If he has nothing for you then you have nothing for him.
    via u/Top_Bluejay_5323
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    He may learn in time. Also, you may have to be more clear as to what you want. No hint or innuendo say it clear. If you are out shopping make time for him to get away from you so he can do his own shopping now, not on a later trip.
    via u/Top_Bluejay_5323
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    dwantheatl 5d ago . NTA...I understand that you just want him to make a point of thinking about you with a small token of affection. Is anything else wrong in the relationship? It's not hard and doesn't cost one cent to be thoughtful.
    via u/dwantheatl
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    Suitable_Doubt7... 5d ago • NTA, start a new tradition. without telling him and start giving him his gift after he gives you his gift or give him his gift on Epiphany.
    via u/Suitable_Doubt7359

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boyfriend long term relationship christmas relationship advice aita relationship gifts relationship status relationship-drama gift reddit story relationships girlfriend story reddit thread Reddit healthy relationship
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