Grandparents refuse to get a car seat for their grandchild, leading father to revoke their babysitting rights, mother takes grandparents' side: ‘They did the same with me’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 8, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Many new parents can testify to how challenging it can be when their parents try to tell them how they should or shouldn't raise their own children. Our parents are always convinced that their methods are the only way to go and that they have enough 'experience' to make sure that when you have children of your own, all you will need to do is simply listen to them. 

However, we also know that the way children were raised 20 or 30 years ago, was not always ideal, and was filled with mistakes that we absolutely know today should not be repeated.

The difference between these times and now become the most apparent on an issue like safety. 30 years ago, our parents would not blink twice when we asked them to go play alone on the street with our friends, something that many parents these days would not approve of. 

Car seats, were apparently also not a big deal back then, while these days driving your child without them is illegal in most countries. 

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  • So what do you do when your parents insist on raising your child the way they raised you, but you know that their way is wrong, and most importantly, unsafe? 

    You might want to take notes from the father in the story down below, who refused to allow his in-laws to drive his child around without a car seat, despite them claiming it is not necessary, since they've done it all before.

  • 01
    "No car seat in car, no child in car"
    via @trendstetterimages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for not letting my in- laws drive my infant without a car seat?
    via Username_McUserface
  • 03
    Basically my wife's parents are stubborn and don't want to have a car seat in their car. My child is 11 months old, and they think a seatbelt on top of a towel is fine. I am putting
    via Username_McUserface
  • 04
    my foot down and refusing to allow them to transport my child in their vehicle. This is causing a rift, and my wife says I should just let it go, because they did the same
    via Username_McUserface
  • 05
    thing with her when she was young and she never got hurt. AITAH? Edit: alright based on the advice here, I called my father in-law and told him I would
    via Username_McUserface
  • 06
    buy them a car seat, but they will need to use it if they want my child in their vehicle. He said he would think about it. 5 minutes later, my wife comes storming in screaming at me
    via Username_McUserface
  • 07
    for going behind her back, so I guess he wasn't impressed and called her. Anyway, she called me a " and I told her she can leave. And she did. So yeah... guess I'm a single dad now?
    via Username_McUserface
  • 08
    ДИТИЯ AWA
    via Maria Sbytova

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Edit 2: Wow this really blew up. I should add some context. My in laws are usually sane and good people, but are from an eastern bloc country and so a bit old school in some of their
    via Username_McUserface
  • 10
    thinking. My wife is back home now and has apologized. She agrees that our child should ride in a car seat. My in-laws are going to watch him tomorrow and she
    via Username_McUserface
  • 11
    has agreed to tell them that the baby must be in a car seat. Maybe I'll provide another update in a few days.
    via Username_McUserface
  • 12
    Slightlysanemomof5 Depending on where you live it's illegal to drive a child in car without a car seat. I'd never leave child alone with grandparents without a car seat.
    via Slightlysanemomof5
  • 13
    lostinRC Are you sure your wife never got a knock to the head when they were driving around. It seems like it. NTA.
    via lostinRC
  • 14
    Worried_Suit4820 No car seat in car, no child in car.
    via Worried_Suit4820
  • 15
    BlueGreen 1956 NTA Your wife said to "just let it go." That would concern me a LOT more than her parents' attitude toward the situation.
    via BlueGreen1956
  • 16
    Yikes! A mother willing to endanger her child to placate her parents. I cannot fathom that.
    via BlueGreen1956
  • 17
    EfficientSociety73 I wouldn't let your wife drive the kid anywhere either. If she thinks not using a car seat is fine, she likely will do the same at some point. Car seats and seat belt laws
    via EfficientSociety73
  • 18
    all exist for a reason and it isn't because we were all FINE without them. Yeah, we were. And smoking and having a few cocktails while pregnant was fine too. Until it wasn't. NTA OP. Your wife and her parents are all idiots and not a single one of them needs to be alone with that child.
    via EfficientSociety73
  • 19
    225wpm8 NTA. Those parents are irresponsible and clearly can't be trusted to make good decisions with your child.
    via 225wpm8
  • 20
    scrotalsac69 NTA Child seats are used for a - reason. No way would I let anyone take a child of mine in a car without one. Plus your wife has no clue, just because nothing
    via scrotalsac69
  • 21
    bad happened to her is no assurance that nothing will happen now. Particularly as the parents/grandparents are now significantly older
    via scrotalsac69
  • 22
    SMTPA This was the very topic on which I first stood up,to my own father, and while he was surprised he admitted that it was my child, my rules. If they can't accept that, sc 'v‘em.
    via SMTPA

Tags

family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother car reddit story parenting babysitting dad family grandparents Reddit women parents children Father
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