Facepalm's Crazy Mom Said

Me: Does the horn not work when the car is off? Mom: It's only horny when it's turned on.
From Facepalm

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'I got fired from a job I don't work': Manager fires guy from a job that isn't his after he doesn't listen to her because he doesn't work there

'I got fired from a job I don't work': Manager fires guy from a job that isn't his after he doesn't listen to her because he doesn't work there

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Couple walk out of father's birthday dinner after 33-year-old son-in-law gets sat at the kid's table: 'He's used to not being liked'

Couple walk out of father's birthday dinner after 33-year-old son-in-law gets sat at the kid's table: 'He's used to not being liked'

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Manager orders 23-year-old kitchen worker to stop helping with other tasks, causing restaurant to fall behind and customers to lose their temper: 'I’m only following his orders'

Manager orders 23-year-old kitchen worker to stop helping with other tasks, causing restaurant to fall behind and customers to lose their temper: 'I’m only following his orders'

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14-year-old constantly mocks her 16-year-old sister for being adopted, older sister discovers that they're actually both adopted: 'My parents said don't tell my sister or she'll be devastated'

14-year-old constantly mocks her 16-year-old sister for being adopted, older sister discovers that they're actually both adopted: 'My parents said don't tell my sister or she'll be devastated'

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Parent of 15-year-old refuses to buy her cell phone, offers her pay-phone quarters instead: 'She says it's affecting her social life'

Parent of 15-year-old refuses to buy her cell phone, offers her pay-phone quarters instead: 'She says it's affecting her social life'

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Chef makes an effort to bake cakes for coworkers' birthdays, only to have none of them do anything for her birthday, she refuses to keep the tradition: ‘It's not worth the effort’

Chef makes an effort to bake cakes for coworkers' birthdays, only to have none of them do anything for her birthday, she refuses to keep the tradition: ‘It's not worth the effort’

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