30-year-old chef treats coworkers to homemade cakes for their birthdays for a year, refuses to make anymore when they become entitled to free treats despite forgetting her birthday: "It rubbed me the wrong way"

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH For no longer making my colleagues birthday cake?

    Cheezburger Image 10513634560
  • 02
    So I 30F am a chef and have been working at a high-end restaurant for almost 2 years. Since I started, I made it a point to find out when a fellow colleagues birthday was and make them a cake/
  • 03
    sweet treat to celebrate and then share it with everyone else working. Since then I have made numerous treats at work for birthdays, I have also made them at home and brought them in the next
  • 04
    day if I was off or we were closed, along with going out early in the morning on my days off and buying specific treats for one reason or another to drop off before service started.
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10513635584
  • 06
    My birthday however was a month ago, and no one at work did a single thing. They knew it was my birthday over the weekend in which we were closed
  • 07
    because they all asked me about it the following work week. I was pretty hurt, but let it go and told myself that I wouldn't be making any effort for anymore birthdays unless specifically told to by my boss.
  • 08
    Now it's someone's birthday tomorrow, which I didn't know about until a colleague emails me saying "It's ... Birthday tomorrow". That's it's, thats the whole message. No hello, or how are you...
  • 09
    just those four words and it rubbed me the wrong way. I worked a semi-solo shift today, everyone else was off and could have organised something and I was very busy as it's prep day today which I do at the start of every week, prepping specific items for
  • 10
    other sections to help them get a head start. After a couple of exchanges, I held firm and told them I was too busy tomorrow to do it and I won't be making a cake for anyone anymore for the remained of the year as no one put any effort into mine this year. They said "ok, fair".
  • 11
    Now I feel terrible, and second guessing whether to make something small at work even though we are incredibly busy tomorrow. AITAH?
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10513635072
  • 13
    Classic-Actuary-234 NTA, bakeries are open all year round, not just on your birthday. Your time and effort should be appreciated, not expected.
  • 14
    TRthemotelmanager Your efforts deserve recognition. Setting boundaries is important when others take you for granted.
  • 15
    anshukg holy sh the "ok, fair" is what got me like... they couldn't even pretend to care. just admitted yeah we use you and moved on.
  • 16
    you know what kills me? its not even about the cake. its that moment when you realize you've been the only one keeping something alive this whole time. like when you stop texting first and the conversation just... dies.
  • 17
    OP's sitting there feeling guilty for not doing FREE LABOR on their day off while these people couldn't even grab a $5 cupcake for their birthday. but sure, she's wondering if she's the ahle
  • 18
    that email tho. four words. not even a question mark. just expecting her to jump because she always does. i bet they'll suddenly figure out how bakeries work real quick now
  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10513635328
  • 20
    Pride of Capetown It isn't just OP's time and effort that are unappreciated. It's OP herself.
  • 21
    "won't be making a cake for anyone anymore for the remained of the year as no one put any effort into mine this year. They said "ok, fair"."
  • 22
    No apology at all, just 'ok fair'? Yeah, F the 'remainder of the year, I'd permanently stop baking stuff for them
  • 23
    ΝΤΑ. Curious-One4595 While as a matter of human nature, people come to expect that a voluntary act of kindness will be repeated and take it for granted, as a matter of etiquette you are allowed to stop at any time, and lack of reciprocation is an absolutely valid reason for doing so.
  • 24
    They know this. That is why their response was "Ok, fair". Though an “I'm sorry we were so thoughtless" should have been expressed as well.
  • 25
    AmericanDesertWitch I was also the baking person in my office, and I also stopped when no one bothered to even get a card for me. One dips it even said to me on my birthday, "I was going to make some cupcakes or something for you because you always do it for everyone. But I decided to put my new TV up instead."
  • 26
    I actually looked at him and said, "why would you ever tell someone that?" His mouth fell open and I walked away. Ffs.
  • 27
    synaesthezia Nope. If anyone asks, just say loudly "oh, I thought we weren't doing that anymore, no one got me a cake." Hold the line. NTA
  • 28
    elevenohnoes NTA it sounds like everyone there just expects someone else to take care of it, and when it's your bday you're obviously not going to make your own treats so nobody does. Totally fair that from now on nobody else gets a cake or anything.
  • 29
    Satchm0Jon3s My wife was in a similar situation where she works. She used to go out of her way to make people birthday cards - personalised photoshopped cards. She'd spend a good chunk of time on them. But when her birthday came around she got nothing.
  • 30
    She wasn't expecting something hand made or extravagant; but she didn't even get a shop bought card. I fully backed her in not doing any more cards from that point on.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article