Daughter finds out father is remarried through a TikTok video following a messy divorce with her bio mom, cuts him off to send a message: ‘I was floored’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 20, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Divorce, even if the split is amicable, might have lasting effects on those who parted ways and their children, if any. I suppose anyone with a brain could tell you that, but some folks might not understand just how difficult navigating a new life can be until they're thrust in it with little preparation.

Then comes the possibility of remarriage. Though both both former partners might find second love with new people, their children might not be able to grasp the love lost. How about when the divorce was not amicable at all, though? Surely, everybody involved (except the un-scorned) will have trouble dealing with the situation happily.

The user who posted this story is a daughter of divorced parents. She explains she had always noticed that her parents struggled with getting along, but she didn't know they were headed for divorce until she went abroad for school. Her mother reached out to her shortly after she left her hometown, saying her father had left her and took $30k in family savings in the process. They hadn't heard from him after their divorce was finalized, but the daughter recently found her father on her TikTok "For You" page and, well, he already tied the knot again. Scroll to read the entire story below, including some very important notes on self-love.

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    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not talking to my dad after finding out he got remarried through a TikTok video?"

    AITA for not talking to my dad after finding out he got remarried through a TikTok video? I (25F) stopped talking to my dad after discovering he got remarried when a video from his wedding showed up on my TikTok for you page.
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  • My parents were married for 22 years before they divorced in 2021. Growing up, my family wasn't perfect. I witnessed them argue frequently, but I never imagined they'd actually separate. In the last few years
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  • of their marriage, things seemed fine, or at least that's how it appeared to me. However, I moved out at 17, so I guess it was harder for me to see the full picture.
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  • In 2020, I moved to London to pursue my master's degree. A year later, my mum called me in tears to tell me that she and my dad were getting divorced.
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  • Like any good daughter, the user went home to comfort her mother. The initial shock affected the both of them, so being there for each other in a time of change and hardship was integral to ensuring they both get the attention and comfort they need.

    What's interesting is that her father only jumped ship once she had left for school. Not to speculate too much, but it looks like he was waiting for his daughter to get on her feet so he can start his new life, all the while leaving the woman he had married with nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing. Like, -$30k nothing.

  • She said he had packed his bags and left. I was thousands of kilometers away at the time, but as soon as I heard the news, I booked the next available flight to be with her.
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  • Before flying home, I called my dad. Honestly, I don't even remember what I said. I was crying, yelling, and asking how he could do this to us. I don't recall much of his response, but it was not a good conversation.
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  • When I got home, my mum also told me that he had taken $30,000 in cash that was meant for my wedding and my long-term visa in the UK. I was furious but decided to call him for clarification. I explained
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  • that I needed just $3,000 of that money for my graduate visa so I could stay in the UK and work. To my shock, he shouted down the phone, telling me to "get a darn job." I was stunned. I tried to
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  • explain that I was freshly graduated and actively looking for work, but he refused to help. He even claimed he'd been "generous" by leaving my mum the family house,
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  • which is a lie, as the apartment had been gifted to her by my grandmother before they got married. That was our last conversation. We went completely no-contact. In
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  • January 2022, my parents' divorce was finalized. A couple of months later, while scrolling through TikTok, a video from my dad's wedding popped up on my For You page. I was floored. I debated whether to
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  • tell my mum but eventually decided to send her the video. She was understandably hurt and disappointed, but also relieved to have made the right choice in divorcing him.
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  • Luckily, the TikTok remarriage news it's algorithm shouted from the phone-top only made both the mother and daughter stronger. Perhaps, seeing this video was the nail in the coffin for her mother. As for her, she's finally gained the courage to not reach out to the father who decided he wanted a new life, and with that courage, she'll gain insight and wisdom. Going no-contact doesn't mean the love is lost—it simply means that she loves herself more.

  • After seeing the wedding video, my mum and I started to wonder if he had been cheating on her for some time. It just didn't make sense for him to leave so suddenly unless he already had someone waiting for him.
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  • 15:55 Ժ TikTok { ** / 89% -
    via Unsplash (Olivier Bergeron)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Although we've been no- contact since 2021, he randomly sent me "happy birthday" messages in 2022 and 2023. I replied, but it felt awkward. He didn't message me at all in 2024, and I can't
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  • decide if I'm more upset about that or indifferent. So, am I the a hole for cutting off my dad?
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  • UberN00b719 Nope. Your dad has shown you who he is. Focus on your and your mom's well being. Calling it that within a few years, he's going to be freshly divorced again and looking to you and your mom to "fix" things, something that at that point is completely self serving on his part. Stay no contact; it's in you and your mom's best interests. NTA
    via UberN00b719
  • unzunzhepp He needed your money for his new family since you, in his view, was flown out of the nest. Bet he was waiting for you to move before leaving for his mistress. Bet he thinks he did good bc of that.
    via unzunzhepp
  • rnewscates73 Him taking the $30,000, claiming to "give mum the house", and screaming at you to "get a job" are all the bridges you need to know are burned. He has thrown you away - he cares nothing for you. Don't even answer his minimal "happy birthday" wishes. Someday he may need you and reach out. Don't fall for it.
    via rnewscates73
  • MotherGeologist... Sounds like you have a lot of good reasons to go NC with dad.
    via MotherGeologist5502
  • Aine1169 NTA, but when he comes crawling back, do not give him the time of day.
    via Aine1169
  • Icy Paleontologist... Don't be surprised if he suddenly resurfaces when you have a big life event like a wedding (what do you mean I can't walk you down the aisle?!) or a kid (but I'm grandpa!). But he's definitely shown you who he is.
    via IcyPaleontologist123

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