After being raised by grandparents, granddaughter refuses to give up on her share of their inheritance despite family's demands, leading to a dispute with her mom: 'You're not their biological child'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 17, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Isn't it a little sad that money can break families apart before anything else does? How unfortunate is it that people are willing to rip their relationships apart just for a sum of money that will probably be gone in the blink of an eye?

The idea of getting an inheritance from a family member is even more complicated. You have to physically wait for a loved one to be gone from the world before you can get your hands on the money or property they left you. That concept gets really tricky for some families, who are willing to throw all their relationships away for a bigger share of an inheritance, and sometimes that happens before the person who is leaving the inheritance has actually passed.

 That is what is going on with the family in the story down below, except their family dynamics and relationships weren't that great to begin with. The woman who wrote the story was raised by her grandparents since her own parents weren't in the picture. Years later her mother and aunt start demanding things out of her, including her share of the grandparents' inheritance, in the claims that she is not really their daughter. All of that, and the grandparents are still there with them to hear it all…

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not handling my grandparents' legal documents quickly enough and for refusing to give up part of my inheritance?"

    First of all some context: I was raised by my grandparents because my mother worked full- time and prioritized vacations and relationships over being present in my life. While she
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  • wasn't ab ive, she was emotionally absent. My grandmother had a st. oke a year ago and a mini-st. oke recently, so her health is declining, and I've been helping out as much as I can.
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  • Family dynamics have been tense for years. My mom and aunt seem to be envious of my situation-I'm married, have a child, a home, and am pursuing my studies. My mom has mental health challenges, no stable
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  • relationship, and no home of her own. My aunt is financially well- off but struggles in her relationship and was unable to have children. Both of them still treat me like a child and become defensive
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  • when I stand up for myself, especially about how I raise my baby (e.g., my aunt insists | should let my baby cry and stop "spoiling" them with love). In the last few weeks an issue arose: My grandparents need to
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  • sign legal documents (power of attorney and living will) to avoid future conflict over their estate etc.. My mom and aunt have tried to get them to do this, but my grandparents trust me more, likely because my mom and aunt
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  • have had strained relationships with them in the past. Recently, my aunt asked me to take over handling these documents, admitting I'd have more success than she or my mom. In the same conversation,
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  • she also demanded I give her my share of the inheritance (my grandparents' house will be divided by the three of us) because she spent money on expensive gifts for me when I was a child (e.g., a MacBook, iPhone,
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  • iPad). I found this outrageous because it was her free will to do so, and discussing inheritance while my grandparents are still alive feels incredibly disrespectful. I told my aunt I'd take care of the documents but hadn't yet due to my responsibilities (childcare, household, work, and studies).
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  • A few days ago, we celebrated my grandmother's birthday at my place. My mom, who was in a bad mood due to issues with her "boyfriend", pulled me aside and accused me of being "inhumane" and "heartless" for
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  • not completing the documents. yet. She claimed it's selfish of me to benefit from the inheritance, adding that she doesn't think I deserve it since I'm not my grandparents' biological child.
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  • I told her that was nonsense- my grandparents raised me as their own, and I care about their happiness and well-being more than any inheritance. I also pointed out that she's in no position to judge, given that
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  • she relies on my grandparents for food (she visits 3-4 times a week, eats their food, and never contributes anything like groceries or cooking). This led to her calling me a "bh," crying, and calling my
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  • aunt to complain. I haven't spoken to her since (we rarely talk anyway, about once every two weeks). Yesterday, I printed the documents for my grandparents and explained everything to them. We plan to
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  • complete them together this weekend. When I told them about the situation, they were shocked and upset about how I've been treated. They've now decided to list me in the documents because they trust me the most.
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  • My mom and aunt clearly have unresolved issues, but am I wrong for standing up for myself and refusing to give up my share of the inheritance?
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  • Was I out of line for not prioritizing the documents earlier, even though I've now taken steps to complete them? Am I the ah le in this whole conflict?
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  • How incredibly insensitive it is to fight over inheritance shares with the grandparents still alive and well. That proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the mother and aunt couldn't care less about their parents, they just want their money. The only person who seems to care is the granddaughter, so she earned her role in the family more than anyone else. 

    Hopefully, she gets to put it all behind her and focus on the family members who deserve her love and attention.

  • BeachinLife1 If I was your grandparents, their behavior would have me writing them OUT of the will. Or at least giving YOU half and letting them split the other half. After your
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  • grandparents are gone, and the estate is settled, I'd likely be going NC with your mom and your aunt.
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  • Evening Ad5243 So NTA but some advice? Take the paperwork to a lawyer. Have grandparents review and sign with a lawyer and you not in the room. Because when
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  • your grandparents pass your family is going to claim that you pressured them into signing them. Specially if they change anything to favour you
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  • Valuable_Ad4443 NTA..I worked as a former paralegal and in this situation, your mother and aunt will be a nightmare when your last surviving grandparent passes away because they will claim. you had influence over them during the writing and execution of the documents.
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  • I would advise having the documents looked over, signed, and filed with an Elder Law Attorney. They will also help you or take care of filing all the necessary documents to open and close the estate (and deal with your mom and aunt's nonsense). Good luck
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