'He didn’t want to “let” me break up with him - yet he didn’t want to date ME': Woman's boyfriend is perfect until he suddenly demands she convert herself into a tradwife, woman leaves him, but not without him putting up a fight

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 24, 2025 9:00 AM EST

You can look past anything in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. The weird little quirks about a person that some people might find gross and unattractive are, to you, perfect imperfections, and your beloved wouldn't be the same without them. You learn to speak a new language of love with your person and exist in a world outside the reality you were in before you met them. In this stage, your friends can't give you their real thoughts on the person you're dating because you wouldn't be able to hear them anyways. Rose-colored glasses up and on.

Usually, you're in control of when the rose-colored glasses come off, and if you're lucky, it's a gradual process that still leaves you with a lot of love in your heart for a person who was once everything to you. This is what makes it especially hard when the person you've come to love suddenly flips a switch on you, ripping the glasses off your face before you even know it. That's what one woman came on X to talk about when her ex demanded that she change herself into a tradwife, seemingly out of nowhere. Read her story and see what you think about her situation.


 

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    via Sarah Cervantes
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    Let's get into a good old-fashioned Twitter thread

    Years ago - I was dating a guy I thought had real long term potential. It was the 1st relationship I had after a slew of not nice men & I was surprised by how kind, attentive & respectful he was. When it began to get serious - he sat me down to talk about meeting his family.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    He said they were traditional & I would need to "make some changes" I asked "like what?" Assuming that he would tell me to tone down my swearing or consider hiding the fact that I was vegan. Asking me to do those things wouldn't have been right but I might have understood /2
    via broadwaybabyto
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    A tradwife? In this economy?!

    Instead he proceeded to give me a long list of the ways in which I wasn't enough of a “traditional woman" The bright red hair dye? It had to go. Oh you're a natural ginger? Can you dye it brown? "We" prefer brunettes.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    My hands? They needed to be manicured. Tasteful though - no bright colours. Not too long but make them look "feminine". Perhaps you could get a pedicure too? And consider getting your eyebrows done while you're at it. /4
    via broadwaybabyto
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    Then he delved into makeup. I hate makeup, a fact I had never hidden from him. He said I needed to start wearing it. Tasteful colours only. He offered to send me some YouTube tutorials that would teach me the looks "they" liked. /5
    via broadwaybabyto
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    Clothing. Everything needed to change. I wore sweatpants too often. I didn't wear enough skirts. No spaghetti straps as they're heels instead of frumpy flats? but could you wear This went on and on and on. He basically wanted to change ME. /6
    via broadwaybabyto
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    The only thing that I changed was my relationship status. I immediately broke up with him and informed him that he should find someone who meets his exacting not force them on someone who has her standards own. He did NOT take it well. /7
    via broadwaybabyto
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    In the blink of an eye this guy who I believed was the first genuine and respectful relationship I had in years became irrationally angry. He told me "all men” would expect a woman to become more feminine if they were considering taking her home to meet the family. /8
    via broadwaybabyto
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    I held my ground and asked him to leave and he said "I'm not taking no for answer". Chills up and down my spine. He didn't want to "let" me break up with him - yet he didn't want to date ME. He wanted some version of me that did not and was never going to exist. /9
    via broadwaybabyto
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    He did finally leave but he spent two weeks texting and calling every day. I ignored him. Then he started showing up at my house with flowers and saying he "always gets what he wants". Thankfully I had a male roommate who told him if he didn't stop we would call the police. /10
    via broadwaybabyto
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    People ran to the comments to share their dating horror stories.

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    via Alvin Mahmudov
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    He should have dated for those standards from the start! Or at least had conversations about what he thinks and ask if you'd consider things right from the start. And then going seperate ways if not resolved. Instead he was devious and stalking controlling. A narcissist.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    Thank you for sharing your story. When I broke up with my first bf, he sat outside my house with a knife and said he'd kill himself if I didn't take him back. Told him to go ahead, I'd call 911 for him. He finally left. My dad had to call his dad and tell him to leave me alone.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    Literally the guy was the one who lied about who he was and what he wanted in a partner. Girl, you dodged a non metaphorical bullet there.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    This type of man will eventually isolate you from family and friends. He showed his true early so you didn't marry him have children and evolve into the web he desired as the spider and the fly. Glad for you.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    I dated a similar guy. Started telling me how I should dress, wear my hair, do makeup etc. I broke it off immediately and told him he could find Magic Makeover Barbie in aisle 5 at Toys R Us. He didn't harass me for long, after his 3rd attempt I told him I would call the cops.
    via broadwaybabyto
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    What a scary situation!! I'm so glad that your roommate intervened and was successful. But it's terrible that you went through that and he had to step in. There is no reason for men to view women as subservient or as second class citizens. If they do, they are the lesser ones.
    via broadwaybabyto

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