17-year-old refuses to attend family therapy with 19-year-old stepsister he barely knows, stepsister insists on bonding, dad takes her side: ‘Don't you want a good relationship?’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 30, 2025 2:00 PM EST

As much as we may want to, we cannot predict anything that comes at us. Life is messy, and unexpected, and is full of surprises, both good and bad. Without those surprises, we would probably all go mad very quickly and grow tired of living a life where we know what is going to happen at any given moment.

Yet, as much as we know we need the unexpected, some of those moments can really make our lives complicated and difficult to deal with, and there is nothing much we can do about it. We just have to find ways to deal with those unpleasant surprises, and hopefully move on from them as quickly as possible. Most of the time, it is much easier said than done, but that does not mean we are not going to try.

The kid in this story got his life turned upside down when he was just 8 years old after discovering he had a stepsister that even his dad did not know about. This unpleasant surprise kept finding new ways to make this kid's life difficult, as he kept trying to move on…

Advertisement

  • Not only did this kid suddenly find himself with an older sister, but he also had to deal with the sister's persistence in wanting a relationship with his (and her) father. And while she deserves to form a relationship with her dad, the way she came about it was arguably not healthy, and she keeps causing problems even 10 years later.

    The way her half-brother handled this situation was the only way he saw fit, and we wholeheartedly respect him for that.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story. After you are done, check out another family story about a son who decided to stop paying his retired parents' mortgage. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10459735296
    via Timur Weber

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to attend therapy with my family so I can try to have a good relationship with my half sister?"

    When I (17m) was 8 my dad found out he had a 10 year old daughter. There was no cheating. My dad started dating my mom after he broke up with half sister's
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 03
    mom. She moved back home and didn't tell my dad she was pregnant. My parents met and had me pretty quickly afterward. Dad's ex only told him
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 04
    about their kid because she was asking questions and wanted to know dad. My dad did a DNA test and then he met her and he spent some time with her and then he introduced me and
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 05
    my mom and then she started coming to our house. My half sister was so jealous of me. She hated me. She hated that dad had raised me and she was new. She
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 06
    treated me like sh and said over and over how she didn't want a brother. It was all weird to me too and I hadn't exactly wanted a sibling either but didn't get a say in it anymore than she
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 07
    did. I'm aware I had the benefit of knowing dad and not going through what she did. But to be honest I was tired of dealing with her and liked when she went back home. I'd have been happy to never see her again.
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 08
    Three years ago she decided she wasn't going to come to our house anymore because she didn't want a relationship with me and my mom. My dad was upset by
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 09
    her choice but carried on a relationship with her outside. our home. She's 19 now and her and dad have talked and he told her they couldn't have the
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 10
    relationship she wanted if she never wants to be around me and mom, because he won't abandon us every holiday to be with her and he won't exclude us from his birthdays or other milestones and achievements.
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 11
    She considered it for a while and now she wants to try and make things work but doesn't know how. My parents talked about it and dad asked her about family
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 12
    therapy and she agreed. My parents talked to me about it and I said no. Dad looked crushed by my answer and how quick and firm I was. He told me this could be the chance for us to have a
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 13
    relationship and he was all like "don't you want to have a good relationship with your sister?" My mom asked how I felt and I told them I felt like she wasn't a real sister and I didn't love her
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 14
    like siblings do. I said she came into my life when I was 8 and wanted nothing to do with me. I said I never bonded with her or grew to like her. I said I wouldn't ignore her if she did start
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 15
    showing up but I couldn't imagine us being close like siblings who grow up together or come from the same family. I said she was a kid and had a lot to work
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 16
    through. But that didn't mean I had cared about her all this time. I told dad she's his kid too and I don't want to stop him from having a relationship with her and I won't treat her like sh.. if
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 17
    she's around. But I said she's basically a stranger who bu ied me before. My dad said he understood but I could see he was upset about it and I heard my parents talking after and he
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 18
    said he was so sad it had all ended up this way. But that he didn't blame me. I know I could try for him which makes me wonder if I'm TA. I just really don't want to work on things with this girl. Does that make me an ahle?
    via Ok_Quantity8828
  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10459735808
    via Georgijevic f

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 20
    Carbohemorrhage I think you're doing enough promising to be civil with her. Plenty of siblings grow up together and don't have that bond their parents widh they had.
    via Carbohemorrhage
  • 21
    Material Cellist4133 NTA She took her anger out on your when it should have been taken out on her mother.
    via Material_Cellist4133
  • 22
    Your father didn't know she existed. How can he be there or choose you when no one knew she existed? Yes she was a child, but that's where your father should have sat her down and said this is your mother's fault not OPs or OPs mom.
    via Material_Cellist4133
  • 23
    Clean Factor9673 NTA. Your dad and her mom did her a disservice by not putting her in therapy after your dad's DNA test. She had a lot going on. He should've put you in therapy and had family therapy to help the two
    via Clean_Factor9673
  • 24
    of you work through your upset about the new family situation. Of course, her mom did the wrong thing by leaving town without letting your dad know she was pregnant.
    via Clean_Factor9673
  • 25
    Your half sister made the choice to "y you and try b "ying your dad into leaving you out. There's no reason to expect you to participate in family therapy at this late date.
    via Clean_Factor9673
  • 26
    Chaoticgood790 NTA after years you gave up. She expected your dad to abandon you and your mom. When that didn't work all of the sudden she wants therapy to fix things. She can go to
    via Chaoticgood790
  • 27
    therapy alone. Maybe if she is less of an AH and takes ownership you might feel differently (and again you never have to)
    via Chaoticgood790

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama aita kids brother mother therapy siblings reddit story parenting dad family sister Reddit mom parents children Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article