Two sisters attempt to force recently discovered half brother to have a relationship with them, he refuses to bond, causing them to obsess over him: “How do we get in front of him to plead for a chance?”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 3, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Family: can't live with them, can't live without them. We all have different and obscure relationships with our parents, siblings, and relatives. Our stories are like snowflakes, with no two being exactly the same. I've known so many families that seem so close, like they're just perfect on the outside. Obviously no one's family is perfect, and being envious of others who are close with parents or siblings will never help you in the end. 

I'm pretty close with my sister, and I feel so lucky for that. Though we don't live in the same country, we keep up with each other decently and enjoy the time we can spend together. If I didn't have this kind of bond with her, there'd be no use lamenting it, or trying to force it. If there's one thing I've learned about family it's that you can't change them. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a man whose wife and sister-in-law find out they have an older half brother. They try to contact him, but he's not interested in having a relationship with them, but they won't let it go. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my wife and SIL they need to accept their half brother doesn't want a relationship?

    "He asked them not to contact him"
    via libertyjapan201512 from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Six months ago my wife (26f) and her sister (24f) learned they have an older half brother from their mom. They never met this man or heard their mom or anyone talk about him before. The only thing they know is he was primarily raised by his paternal grandparents. When they found
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 03
    out he existed they hired an internet PI to help them find him. The PI found his socials and his full name. From there my wife and her sister made contact.
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 04
    There was no reply and my SIL decided she'd message once a week in case he wasn't getting the notifications. She and my wife did everything to convince themselves he wasn't responding for some other reason other than he didn't want a relationship. After a few months of this he replied once saying he wanted to be left alone
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 05
    and did not want a relationship or any form of contact with them. The next thing his profiles were made private so the only people who could could interact with him were friends and followers.
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 06
    My wife's pregnant with our first child right now and some people have suggested the hormones are driving her to obsess over this. But neither are letting this go. I'm trying to be a good wife and supportive but they're talking about doing things that would be like stalking or harassment in trying to get this man to agree to a
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10461653248
    via Helgy / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    relationship. They don't see why he'd reject them when they never knew he existed. My SIL showed me his reply. I didn't say this to them because I'm not sure, but it sounds to me like he knew they existed and chose to stay away. I could be wrong of course. I suggested therapy to them but they said a therapist wouldn't help
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 09
    them have a relationship with their brother.
    via u/Witty-Balance3831

  • The protagonist makes a good point here, that his wife is making more of a fuss about this half brother she's never met than their own unborn child. She's really obsessing over it, and it I were the protagonist I would be truly scared. It's such a red flag that she's obsessed, and it's not the pregnancy hormones. 

  • 10
    The other night my wife and I were discussing baby names again and then my wife and SIL started talking about their half brother and how he should be around the baby when he's born. This then turned into a "how do we get in front of him to plead for a chance" and that's when I told them they were
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 11
    handling tis badly and they need to learn to accept his no. I said they don't have to like it, they're allowed their own feelings on it, but they need to accept he said no. I told my wife her half brother was taking up more mental space than our unborn son and he'll be born soon and our lives will change.
    via u/Witty-Balance3831
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10461653504
    via StockSnap from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    SIL said I wasn't being understanding enough. My wife didn't argue either way. She looked really thoughtful though and she's been quiet since the other night. AITA?
    via u/Witty-Balance3831

  • These women are being a little too much…it's so strange that they're determined to be close with this man they've never even met. It's one this to revere family, and want to have tight-knit relations. It's another thing to force a man you're only half related to to be apart of your life as an adult. 

  • 14
    wxst3d Nta-sorry but it's kind of delusional for them to say their half brother should be there when the baby is born. At least how things are currently going. All you did was give them a reality check.
    via u/wxst3d
  • 15
    He asked them not to contact him. Any further attempts could be harassment. You don't want them to mess around get a record of a court ordered restraining order/ no contact order.
    via u/wxst3d
  • 16
    If the half brother ever changes his mind, he'll reach out. The ball is his court, but he may/ may not ever pass it back. That's up to him. They can't force a relationship.
    via u/wxst3d
  • 17
    charles2052 NTA. It sounds like you were being honest with them in a way that was needed. Your wife and SIL are struggling with this situation, and I get that—it's tough to process a new family member who clearly doesn't want a
    via u/charles2052
  • 18
    relationship. But at the end of the day, he has made his boundaries clear. It's not stalking if he's already said he doesn't want contact, and continuing to push him would cross a line. You weren't being unsupportive, you were just trying to help them see things
    via u/charles2052
  • 19
    from a healthier perspective, especially with your wife's pregnancy and your upcoming baby. It's understandable that emotions are high, but their obsession. over this guy is becoming unhealthy. Sometimes, you have to accept that someone just doesn't want a
    via u/charles2052
  • 20
    relationship, and that's hard to hear, but it's necessary. You weren't wrong for saying that they need to respect his decision.
    via u/charles2052
  • 21
    Max-Powers 1984 NTA consent matters and they do not have it, the rest is just stalking to impose their will on a unwilling victim.
    via u/Max-Powers 1984
  • 22
    Odd-End-1405 NTA Sharing DNA does not require a relationship. They need to accept this.
    via u/Odd-End-1405
  • 23
    His family is who raised him. and whom he built a life with, not some random people whom he shares an egg donor with. Why is this so hard for them?
    via u/Odd-End-1405

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