'He's scared. How do I get him to trust me?': 14 nuggets of expurrt advice to appropriately acclimate your cat to their furrever home from your online feline family

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Feb 2, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Firstly, congratulations on your new cat! We're so happy you've joined our little family of feline fans. Adopting a new cat is not only exciting, but slightly overwhelming. You have to kitten-proof your home, get a bunch of supplies for your new pet, and on top of that, acclimate them to your house. Now, cats are different from doggos in many ways. Cats take time to get used to new situations, much slower than puppies or adult dogs. They may hide for a few minutes, hours, or even days. Don't take it purrsonally, they just need time to adjust.

You may see your new cat hiding and think you're doing a bad job because all you want to do is love them and make them feel safe. It can be a confusing and frustrating time. But luckily, our feline fam has taken over the internet and is full of expurrt advice to help you and your new kitty feel safe and form a wholesome bond quickly. We just have one word to tell you in the meantime: patience.

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  • 01
    NAO PISE CUDADO FRA
    via u/CronicallyOnlineNerd
  • 02
    I got him this box and towel to make him comfortable and some water but he hasnt drink any of it. He hides in small spaces and meows. When i try getting him out of his hideouts he makes a "rrrrrrrrr" sound. I think its because he's scared. How do i get him to chill?
    via u/CronicallyOnlineNerd
  • 03
    HeLuLeLu⚫ 19h ago Make sure that you're giving him kitten food and a cat litter box is easily accessible. Be very patient, speak softly... he'll learn to trust you and become your best friend! Enjoy!
    via u/HeLuLeLu
  • 04
    EyeAmBack 19h ago • just takes time to get acclimated to you, give him lots of love. Treats help too.
    via u/EyeAmBack

  • Treats definitely help! Imagine if some giant monkey took you from your safe space and put you in a new home where everything is foreign…you would hide for a bit too. You can share your love with them, but still respect their boundaries. Throw them some solid treats as you walk by so they learn that your presence means tasty things come. Sit with your back and even ignore them! It sounds counterintuitive, but it definitely works.

  • 05
    RazzmatazzMassive738 • 17h ago Best advice with every cat ever: let the cat come to you. Aside from making sure it has what it needs, just be present. I sit and crochet or read with a new cat, this shows I can be around without messing with the cat or it's things.
    via u/RazzmatazzMassive738
  • 06
    Every cat who "doesn't like people" is just a cat that assumes every human will feel entitled to mess with it, fuss it, invade its space when it doesn't even know you from Adam.
    via u/RazzmatazzMassive738
  • 07
    Well, they all like me, because I basically ignore them until they get curious about me, and then suddenly I'm getting all the rubs from the "cat we called Freddy after Freddy Kruger because he slashed everyone he came into contact with" and Freddy is a drooling baby in my lap.
    via u/RazzmatazzMassive738
  • 08
    It'll happen, just be in the room with a few quiet hobbies until he can get used to you
    via u/RazzmatazzMassive738
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10461639936
    via Kitzzeh

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In general, cats follow the 3-3-3 rule. The first three days they need their time and space to decompress. They will likely hide during this time. The first 3 weeks is the adjustment period, they should feel a little more confident during this time and they'll start understanding their new routine. The first 3 months is about confidence-boosting and bonding. After three months, your kitty should be more or less adjusted to their new lifestyle.

  • 10
    greendivs 18h ago Confine him to one room. Here he can build confidence and from there out explore other rooms when ready. Chill in his room. Read a book to him (out loud) or just talk to him as much as you can softly. Give him treats and try to feed them from your hand when he likes the treats. You could choose to confine him to your bedroom since you are less threatening when sleeping. Place some of you worn clothes in his space so that he can get used to your smell. Good luck!
    via u/greendivs
  • 11
    • jessicahawthorne · 19h ago Give it some time. If its first day that's OK. You might want to make a road out if treats and lure him out.
    via u/jessicahawthorne
  • 12
    Few_Lingonberry7116 18h ago Just feed him and give him a few weeks.
    via u/Few_Lingonberry7116
  • 13
    000-Hotaru_Tomoe 19h ago . Patience, patience and more patience. The kitten is young, and is in an unfamiliar environment: new noises, smells and faces. Yes, he can be scared, especially if he has just been separated from his siblings.
    via u/000-Hotaru_Tomoe
  • 14
    Give him his space. Sit near the box and talk to him out loud (read a book if you want) so that he gets used to your voice and your presence. Try to handfeed him with some wet food on a spoon, so he get used to your hand. A pheromone spray could help him relax. But consider the vet if he continues to not drink and eat.
    via u/000-Hotaru_Tomoe
  • 15
    Commercial-Oil-7906 18h ago let him come to you!! it will take way longer for him to trust you if you're always initiating contact (petting him) he will feel safer and trust u quicker if u give him space !!
    via u/Commercial-Oil-7906
  • 16
    misathemeb • 18h ago It's normal! Let them hide, but continue to leave treats, speak softly to them and try to engage. Let them come to you! My lil guy spent his first 3d /4d hiding and then on day 5 crawled into my lap and became a purr puddle
    via u/misathemeb
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10461638656
    via u/misathemeb
  • 18
    Spookieeee • 18h ago Sit near him and make tapping / scratching noises on the carpet around yourself so he is intrigued by the noise and sound, and eventually he will investigate Dont reach out to touch him though - just let him know its all on his time, and nothing will happen that he doesnt make happen
    via u/Spookieeee
  • 19
    Distinct_Accounting 18h ago Feed him and obey all his commands.
    via u/Distinct_Accounting
  • 20
    kokusmus96 · 18h ago Turkish Angora Time. Not that much time. A few hours, maximum days. Be gentle
    via u/kokusmus96
  • 21
    • • TrulyCurly ⚫ 17h ago Edited 17h ago From my experience, GIVE HIM TIME!
    via u/TrulyCurly
  • 22
    I let my cat hide and keep her distance when she wanted to. I didn't try to get close to her or pet her until she started coming to me. CONSISTENCY IS KEY—that's what I was told by a YouTuber. Apparently, if you're punctual with when you feed, consistent with what you feed, and patient with your cat, that's what helps them feel comfortable. They apparently feel anxious if we break routine (can another cat parent confirm this?)
    via u/TrulyCurly
  • 23
    PATIENCE PATIENCE AND THEN SOME MORE. My cat just decided one morning that I was safe for her and she was the clingiest little fluffball after that. :)
    via u/TrulyCurly
  • 24
    catsandcrowns • 16h ago Best cat bonding tip I have: Sit in a room with them, in complete silence, and ignore their existence. Read a book or scroll on your phone with headphones on. Avoid eye contact and make your sneaky peeks very sneaky. It might take hours, possibly days, but it's my sworn by method
    via u/catsandcrowns

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online expert adoption kitten scared adopted advice feline cat rescue nuggets family forever home Cats loving cute kittens animals
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