Caterer has meltdown because bride and groom give her a list of suggestions, tantrums herself into being fired 2 weeks before the wedding: ‘She was trying to call my bluff but… She failed’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Feb 3, 2025 7:00 PM EST

With the cost of weddings these days, it's crazy to pay to have someone plan the entire thing. That would end up costing hundreds of thousands of dollars. So many people will either DIY their wedding themselves (also crazy simply due to the cost of mental energy!) or do a hybrid of hiring a planner and planning themselves. If you can afford it, the second option is the best. That way you have at least some trusted professionals help you alleviate some of the stress that comes with planning a wedding. If you were to plan the entire thing on your own, it would feel like an entire second full-time job. 

 

This bride had to turn to Reddit after a crazy situation that happened with her caterer only TWO WEEKS and some change before the wedding day! It was so crazy, that her friend told her she just had to share it on Reddit. So she did! With the wedding day so close, they reached out to their caterer to arrange a meet-up so they can make sure everything is going according to plan. The caterer already seemed stressed simply by the meeting, so that was red flag number one… 

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    via Unsplash+ (and Curated Lifestyle)

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    When they met with her, she seemed annoyed and demanding—and the couple were just trying to make everything as easy as possible. She asked them if they could send her a list of what they were thinking. So, as the detail-oriented people they are, they sent her a very organized and detailed list. They were proud of it and reiterated that they were just suggestions. But instead, the caterer flipped and went off on them. She threatened to return the deposit and quit, and you know what? The bride and groom decided to take her up on that offer, because they are stressed enough and do NOT need anymore. Plus, their family all came to the rescue to help them out. So sorry, Karen caterer, you can't bvlly someone into doing things your way. 

  • "Apparently I'm the worst bride to ever exist, and it's not even my wedding day yet."

    This literally happened last night / this morning. I'm still working through the disaster, I've had to take a break from it because I just can't believe it's happening. One of my best friends told me this is like something you'd see on Reddit, so I figured I'd put it here. and let his words come true, lol. This is very long, bear with me. I am on my phone and will try my best to format for readability.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • TL;DR my caterer had an absolute meltdown and might fire me because something we agreed to do is apparently the most insulting thing she's ever experienced.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • We are two weeks and one day away from the wedding and are DIY-ing some of it ourselves, so obviously prep has taken over our lives. When doing the majority of the planning and booking last year, my fiancé had a lot on his plate at work, so I did most of the original planning as my job was very quiet for several months (I work on contract).
    via ironicallygeneral
  • I was adamant that one thing I would not do myself was the food, and I found a vendor in a town half an hour from the venue whose FB page had the most beautiful harvest tables, and that was exactly what we wanted, so I booked her and paid the deposit - in April last year, actually, so I figured this was sorted. On her invoice she noted she'd discuss details like canapés closer to the time. Our venue is several hours away from where we live, so this was all via text and email.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • We finally were in the area and met her last week to discuss it all, and firstly she sounded a bit surprised that we'd want to meet up, but whatever, maybe she hadn't realised it was already coming up, I know she is constantly busy (another reason I booked her, because I saw how many events she was tagged in/reviewed well for and figured this was a good sign).
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Her first question to us when we brought up the canapés was "what canapés do you want?" I could see my fiancé start chewing his tongue out of the corner of my eye. I'd been talking him down from planning the food himself when we would have other things to do on the day. But my heart had also sunk. Surely she should tell us what she usually does? "Well, have a think and let me know what you want." Ok, we said, we absolutely will.
    via ironicallygeneral
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    via Unsplash+ (and Yukiko Kanada)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She was a bit pushy about her sourdough being ok for our celiac guest (if it's made with wheat it's not safe lady) but we talked her into playing it safe with rye. (Edit: I know now after the comments here that rye is not safe either!)
    via ironicallygeneral
  • At the end of it, we recapped the entire discussion, and said - twice that we would send a list - of suggestions. She said she would wait for it.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • So my fiancé made one. We are both detail-oriented people who have catered other events ourselves (massive birthdays and family Christmases of 40 odd people, even one family friend's wedding) with all sorts of menus, including plated dining as well as harvest tables, so we know what we like. I have also worked in hospitality and restaurants most of my life, and I loved getting detailed lists from my clients, it really helped. While ours is a long
    via ironicallygeneral
  • list and some of the items are a bit bougie (hey, it's our wedding!), when I forwarded it on, I mentioned these are suggestions and the end result does not have to be identical, she can let me know what's do-able and we can go from there.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Cheezburger Image 10462317824
    via Unsplash+ (and Luis Tosta)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Cue an absolute harpy. It's all voice notes and I wouldn't feel comfortable putting screenshots on here anyway, but basically "never in my life has a couple told me how to do my job" and apparently we are taking advantage of her and trying to make her work at a loss. All of this in a vicious Karen-esque tone of voice (apologies to any real life Karens who are lovely).
    via ironicallygeneral
  • She ended with telling me that she should perhaps just send me my deposit back. She also spent a good part of it slandering one of the cheesemongers in the area in a most unprofessional way.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Honestly this was so out of left field, I was absolutely stunned. I apologised for upsetting her (because genuinely I had not intended anything of the sort) but reminded her that we agreed on a list when we saw her, and tried to underline that the list was suggestions. I felt that had been clear but my message with the document was a long one so gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided to say she could have missed that.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Her next voice note has told me to "make up my mind" and added that since we are now 50 adults and 4 kids, instead of 70 adults and 5 kids, she would have to raise the price per head anyway. What?? If that's industry practice it's certainly a new one since I last was paid for an event. It's not like she's not being paid for the travelling either, how are her costs more per person?
    via ironicallygeneral
  • If she'd brought up calmly that that list will cost more per head, I'd absolutely have understood (because again, some of our taste can be more pricey!) we could have made concessions or worked out a new budget.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Cheezburger Image 10462318592
    via Unsplash+ (and Ben Rosett)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But really, to be screeched at makes me want to take her up on her offer of a refund. I have severe anxiety and this brought up an entire panic attack, when mostly I've had fun planning everything. I know I will not enjoy my wedding day if I am worried I might have to see her at any point during the afternoon.
    via ironicallygeneral
  • Edit: I did not expect this much activity on this post, I just wanted to vent and assumed it would get buried, lol. I appreciate all the comments, even the ones pointing out I was wrong about private vendor costing (though as I said in the comments, nothing about changing prices was said in any correspondence). And I'm
    via ironicallygeneral
  • glad to know about rye not being safe for celiacs! I have asked the caterer to make good on the refund, we will see what happens. Part of me thinks she was trying to call my bluff but considering my friends and family are rallying hard to already start planning how to do it ourselves, she has failed. Definitely going to leave a review about her behaviour once I've got my money back!
    via ironicallygeneral

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