34-year-old woman refuses to rekindle with bio-dad despite her mother’s overstepping efforts: ‘Why are you sending my wedding photos for people?”

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  • "AITA for refusing to reach out to my Bio dad? Even when my mom begs me too"

    "why the sudden urge to reach out after all these years?"
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  • I (f) 34 have never met my Sperm donor/ Bio dad we shall call (W),however I was raised by a wonderful man I call my dad we shall call (S). Last two Sundays ago my husband and I went to my mom's house for family lunch
  • like we always do. While everyone was in the living room, my mom called me into the kitchen to tell me that she spoke to my father and he wanted to talk to me. I was confused so I said "S" cause | know we spoke. She said "No not
  • your dad, your biological father" My first question was "Is he dying?" She said no. She then proceeded to open her phone to play a voice note from him. To be honest I wasn't listening my eyes
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  • caught the attention of the photo she sent him. It was a photo of my husband and I on our wedding day. I asked her "Why are you sending my wedding photos for people?" She brushed
  • it off. I continued to scroll and saw that he sent her a photo of a little girl and that little girl was me. I could have been around 3. I've never seen that photo before
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  • but I instantly knew it was me. I downloaded the photo and send it to myself and then proceeded the walk out of the kitchen in an attempt to ignore the rest of the conversation.
  • Well later on that night when I got home I called my dad and went on a 40mins rant phone call. Even his wife wanted to know why the sudden urge to reach out after all these years. She asked
  • the same question. " Is he dying?" I found out my mom went behind my back and called my dad asking him if he can speak to me about reaching out to (W) because it's the right thing to do. So AITA?
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  • abigailbabyy NTA. Your mom should respect your boundaries and not pressure you into reaching out to someone you're not interested in connecting with. It's
  • understandable that you don't want to engage with your biological father, especially when you have a loving dad in your life. It's your choice, and your feelings are valid.
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  • Hemenucha NTA. I don't know what her motivation could possibly be, but she's clearly overstepped here.
  • AdministrativePart96 NTA a Biologic Connection only. doesn't mean anything to alot of people and dose not have to
  • Solirvia yeah its completly understandable really You're not the bad guy for not wanting to talk to your biological dad. It's okay to feel confused or upset if you're not ready. Your real dad (S) raised you, and that's what matters most. It's your choice if you want to talk to someone you don't know.
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  • SubAussie NTA You have a dad a real true father who you can and do call your dad the man who's sperm made you isn't your father and your mother shouldn't push for you to speak to that man given you've never met him before and
  • show no interest in ever meeting him, this isn't her place to bat in or try and push for it because your a grown women who gets to make that choice on your own and you chose to never meet him so she should leave it alone now
  • ECU_BSN NTA and has your mom always been this intrusive? What did your partner think?
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  • Short-Sound-4190 I'm extremely mad on your behalf that your Mom handled it so absolutely terrible - you're an adult and she purposely chooses to isolate you and play a voice message from him and spring this whole judgemental demand on you?
  • If I'm reading this correctly, sounds like the Dad that raised you and is in your corner as a Father remarried and even his wife is confused. Idk if that means your Mom is feeling guilt over some role she played pushing your bio Dad out of your lives years ago or if she's trying to rekindle some relationship with him and needs you to be the mortar, but it's gross and clearly about her, not you
  • killderdemon 1983 NTA, I don't know my real dad, and I never want to find him. Momma is overstepping bc if he isn't in the picture and she is forcing u to meet him and u don't want to its ur choice not to meet him
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