Boyfriend cuts up his girlfriend's 9x12 inch painting to fit into a 8x10 inch frame, gets upset when she tears it up and throws it away: 'This is not the first time he has taken something of mine and given it away'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 3, 2025 8:00 PM EST

When you're living with your partner, you might feel a certain entitlement to their stuff. There's a reason girlfriends are known for stealing their boyfriend's hoodies and never giving them back! That stereotype is just plain true. For many couples, it is expected to combine possessions when moving in together and not think twice before using your boyfriend's eggs for some cupcakes or borrowing your girlfriend's body wash after you forgot to get a new bottle. 

There's always a limit to how much couples can claim each other's possessions. I wouldn't trust a girlfriend to go through my closet and choose what to keep and donate, nor should she trust me with that! I wouldn't appreciate it if a partner painted an accent wall in the living room without consulting me on the color and wall. If anyone tried to throw away my favorite holey socks, there would be a serious problem. 

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  • The boyfriend in this story did a major misfire. He took a watercolor painting that his girlfriend bought and cut it without her permission, ruining the symmetry of the painting. He did so to fit it into a smaller picture frame, but if you think that's a good excuse, you might be as stupid as he is.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10463380224
    via Benoît Deschasaux (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    AITAH for throwing out a piece of art my boyfriend ruined?
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 03
    Two years ago I saw an original watercolor piece that I liked and I contacted the artist and bought it. When the piece arrived I sought a frame for it, but I hadn't been able to find a frame for that size every time I went to the store. They were all too big or too small. So I just kept the piece in
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 04
    an envelope in my desk, I would sometimes look at it, remember I had to find a frame for it but would later forget again. Work, family and life leaves little time to devote to thinking about a frame for a painting and I don't have any framing businesses near me, so that wasn't either an option.
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 05
    Today my boyfriend is dusting and comes out of the office showing me the painting on a spare frame he had been using for something else. I ask him if that frame is 9x12. He tells me it's 8x10, that he had to cut a piece of the artwork to make it fit.
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 06
    When I look at it the piece went from a centralized composition to having the composition indented to the left side because he cut all whole inch on that side to save the artist's signature which was on the extreme opposite end (for reference, imagine I if you cut the Mona Lisa to the point where her head is no longer in the center).
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 07
    When he notices I'm perplexed he nonchalantly tells me that the painting was in an envelope anyway, and it's better if it's out so we can see it. I get mad because this is not the first time he has taken something of mine and given it away, offer it to someone or just not ask and do whatever he wants with it. His
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 08
    mother does the same thing with his things at her house. In their family if you're not using something anyone can do with it as they please. I explained to him in my family you don't do anything with other people's stuff
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 09
    I have a tendency to ruminate on thoughts, so I try not to engage in negative emotions because then I just can't let go of them and I cycle and cycle through them and it makes my life miserable, and I have to devote a lot of energy to get me back to normal. Every time I looked at the
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 10
    framed painting I felt a new wave of sadness, anger and frustration ripple over me. So I took the frame down, took the painting out of it, ripped it into four pieces and threw it in the garbage.
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10463380480
    via Toa Heftiba (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    When my boyfriend saw it he was shocked and visibly hurt. I get that his intentions were good, but he ruined a piece of art that was not his to begin with. Now it's awkward at home because I'm still fuming and he's sad. AITAH
    via u/Ever_More_Art
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10463380736
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Pterodactyl_Noises • 2d ago Certified Proctolog|st [29] He was visibly sad? Him? The butcherer of the art?? NTA. No, babe. He's careless to the point of negligence and doesn't know how to use a brain. Or... he did this maliciously. To make you okay with his tendency to do sh like this. Bright. Red. Flags.
    via u/Pterodactyl_Noises
  • 15
    I'm furious for you. You felt attached to this piece of art and kept it safe. You've been hunting for a way to display it, but only if you could find the perfect way to do so. There was no rush. The frame would speak to you when it was time. But he not only destroyed the piece of art you loved, but he ruined the experience around it. This speaks to his character, and if he doesn't understand why this was an unspeakable offense, I would dump him yesterday. I could not live a life filled with so m
    via u/Pterodactyl_Noises
  • 16
    Puzzled-Heart9699 It's such an unnecessary risk for him to take. Why wouldn't he just bring his idea to crop it to OP first and at least give her the opportunity to approve it or not? Based on the fact that he's now sulking, I think he's just a dingus that's clueless about art and composition.
    via u/Puzzled-Heart9699
  • 17
    TazzmFyrflaym >< i'd say i'm pretty clueless about art and composition too, but it has never ever crossed my mind to cut (or otherwise damage) a piece of art in order to fit it into a frame.
    via u/TazzmFyrflaym
  • 18
    No_Astronaut3059 "The vase wouldn't fit on the sill, so I knocked the handles off with a hammer. Surprise!"
    via u/No_Astronaut3059
  • 19
    robinmitchells Same I'd rather risk putting it in a frame too big for it than too small, there has to be some sort of malice involved here because I refuse to believe someone could be so clueless and thoughtless
    via u/robinmitchells
  • 20
    rbollige Interesting side note, The Last Supper is painted directly on a wall, and at some point they cut out Jesus' feet to make a doorway.
    via u/rbollige
  • 21
    HappySummerBreeze His intentions were NOT good. His thought process was: • I know that my girlfriend does not want me to touch her stuff ⚫ my family does touch other people's stuff though my way is better
    via u/HappySummerBreeze
  • 22
    I have decided to do what I prefer even though I know that my girlfriend hates it ⚫ i get to make this decision because I am superior and I know best what is better Nta Either find a way to make him respect you or find someone else
    via u/HappySummerBreeze
  • 23
    Ryoko_Kusanagi69 And: it's ok to destroy something of hers because I said so.
    via u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69
  • 24
    non_ducor_duco_ It's amazing to me that he's literally in the habit of giving OPs belongings away and this is what caused the big fight. Even more amazing to me that he's following in his mother's footsteps. My mother was constantly giving away mine and everyone else's possessions and I literally struggle with minor hoarding tendencies to this day because of it.
    via u/non_ducor_duco_
  • 25
    Chocolateismy I agree - but maybe think you're giving the bf too much credit for thinking anything through. I don't think he thought of her at all. NTA OP - let him be sad about it. He did the wrong thing!!!
    via u/Chocolateismy
  • 26
    Decent-Algae Nta This isn't a good intention, this was he was tired of the envelope and took matters into his own hands. Being helpful would be ordering a frame off the internet that fit the painting or getting 1 too big with a floating frame look. Even if not your style, that is helping.
    via u/Decent-Algae
  • 27
    thatsme55ed It actually takes more effort to cut something down to size than press a few buttons on your phone to order a proper size frame.
    via u/thatsme55ed
  • 28
    Outrageous-Ad-9635 ΝΤΑ The road to hol is paved with good intentions. This wasn't a photo that could be cropped without detracting from it; every part of a painting is intentional and contributes to the whole. Your boyfriend ruined a piece of art that did not belong to him. He had no right to do that and has no right to be sad that you, its rightful owner, disposed of what he destroyed. I'd have done the same; seeing it framed like that would have irritated the crop out of me.
    via u/Outrageous-Ad-9635

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toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend bad boyfriend art paint frame framing relationships girlfriend paintings painting toxic relationship dating picture frame
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