Woman supports sister during the birth of her child, parents find out she met the baby before them and accuse her of manipulation: ‘It makes zero sense’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 6, 2025 9:00 PM EST

It doesn't matter who you are, or how close you are to the person who is giving birth, you get no say in anything related to that event unless you are the one lying on the hospital bed.

The woman who is going through childbirth is the only one who gets to decide who gets to be there in the room with her, the room temperature, the general vibe in the room, and anything else that might seem relevant. She is also the one who decides who gets to meet the baby, when, and under what conditions. If she says no to kissing the baby, then no one is kissing the baby. If she is uncomfortable with you picking the baby up, you don't pick them baby up. Those rules should not be that hard to comprehend, yet there is always this one person, who could be a parent, a friend, or even an aunt, who end up forgetting their place and come up with demands that are completely out of line.

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  • That is what happened with the parents in the story down below, who started making demands when they came to visit their daughter after she gave birth to her second child. Her sister, however, was there to support her and make sure everything went her way, which was really hard for the parents to accept. 

    Keep scrolling to read the full tale.

  • "He accuses me of subterfuge for being at the birth"
    via paulaphoto

  • "AITA for attending my sister's birth and meeting baby before my parents"

    My (35F) little sister (31F) gave birth to her second child late Dec '24. She asked me to be her 2nd birth partner to support her and her husband and I
    via res3597
  • was stoked to agree. Mom thought it was great too. Some background on my parents (65F, 71M). Mom loves to play the victim. We used to be close, but I
    via res3597
  • don't like playing her therapist anymore. My dad was a workaholic with zero emotional regulation and quick to anger. Jump to Dec. It was the most amazing and
    via res3597
  • emotional experience to help my sis and she has a calm, natural birth. They made baby's middle name my first name, total honour. I tried leaving to
    via res3597
  • avoid overstaying but my sister wanted me to stay at the hospital overnight to help her while her husband went back home to their toddler, so I did. It was super special caring for her.
    via res3597
  • In the lead up my sis told my parents she's not sure if she wants them visiting the hospital or when they first get home. She also sets the "don't come if
    via res3597
  • you're sick and no kissing baby" rule. They're miffed. Next morning Mom messages me and invites her and dad to have a coffee at the hospital. I say I'll come to our family
    via res3597
  • home but she says no because they are in the middle of packing to move to their property 3 hrs away. When we meet, my dad is coughing/sick and he goes "so we are
    via res3597
  • going up to meet the baby now?" I say no that's not the plan and you can't meet baby if you are sick. Dad starts yelling in the middle of the hospital cafe saying yes he can
    via res3597
  • because baby already has an immunity from my sister and heaps of babies are born in disgusting conditions around the world. He then accuses me of subterfuge for
    via res3597
  • being at the birth. He won't stop yelling and demanding to go up to the ward. I tell him he doesn't have my sister's permission and she needs
    via res3597
  • to know he's unwell. My Mom is all "I told you not to say anything". Dad keeps escalating. I tell dad I'd rather he be NC with me than I go against my sister's boundaries when
    via res3597
  • she's so vulnerable after birth. He carries on about my conniving subterfuge and manipulation I think for not saying I was at the birth. I then told Dad that
    via res3597
  • my sister asked me 6 months ago, sis had told mom multiple times since and sis told Mom yesterday I was on my way. Dad looked confused and mum says "I must
    via res3597
  • have forgot". I went back to the ward without them, warned my sister, said goodbye and made a hasty exit to drive back home, crying the whole way.
    via res3597
  • My sis ended up letting my parents come into the ward though Dad wasn't allowed near the baby...I then find out they drove back to their property the next day. so it was zero
    via res3597
  • about supporting my sister and her husband. I haven't spoken to my parents since. AITA? tldr: I was my sister's birth partner, my boomer parents lost their sh and accused me of deceit and subterfuge.
    via res3597
  • Cheezburger Image 10463617536
    via @trendstetterimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Individual_Ad_9213 NTA. You agreed to support your sister. That is what you did. If your parents, especially your father, made this all about themselves, that's on them.
    via Individual_Ad_9213
  • HarveySnake Your parents are massive Coles and good examples of how not to be and how not to act. NTA
    via HarveySnake
  • CivilAsAnOrang NTA. I mean, if I were you and your sister, I'd be creating as much distance as possible between your parents.
    via CivilAsAnOrang
  • GullibleCommand5391 Sorry, doesn't make any sense. I'm not even sure why you are involved in all of this. Your sister was undecided whether they could visit or not, so why didn't your parents message
    via GullibleCommand5391
  • your sister or her husband to see if they could come.to the hospital? Why are they messaging you to meet for a coffee and think that you can give them permission?
    via GullibleCommand5391
  • res3597 OP Difficult to give full details with the character limit. My parents looked after my sister's firstborn while my sister was in labor. When my sister's husband went home he told them they could meet
    via res3597
  • baby the next day after they all got home. That was that. I live a couple of hours away so Mom asked to get coffee so she could see me before I drove home because I had work the next day. I tried to
    via res3597
  • go to the family home because I knew this was the risk but she was insistent on meeting at the hospital. She either didn't tell dad it was just coffee or he didn't listen.
    via res3597
  • They didn't ask my permission, dad was just going to go up uninvited and I felt like I had to intervene. It makes zero sense and it all happened so quickly, I felt caught between publicly micromanaging dad's tantrum and my sisters boundaries.
    via res3597

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family drama aita baby kids mother siblings reddit story parenting aunt birth family sister newborn Reddit women parents children Father
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