'I don't appreciate randos at my house': Woman house-sitting for free lets friend inside for 5 minutes to pick up food, homeowner freaks out on her

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2025 3:00 PM EST

House-sitting for someone else can be a tricky job. If they're chill, then you're chill. You can relax and not worry about if they're going to notice that you moved one of their forks. But some folks are weird about their dwellings. They're protective over their spaces, whether they know how to enforce that well or not. These days so many people have cameras- either on their porches or in their homes to look over their pets. So you never know if you're being watched. All this can make house-sitting a gamble. 

You also never know what kind of boundaries the person you are house-sitting for might have. Maybe they're a strictly shoes-off house and if you dare step a Converse into their foyer you're as good as gone. Maybe they never feed their pets table scraps no matter what, and the thought of slipping them a little bite of rotisserie chicken sends them into a tizzy. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10464286720
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Or maybe they have strict boundaries on who can be in their house and when. It makes sense that you wouldn't want someone having a slew of strangers over to kick their feet up on your ottoman, but one known person for five minutes? Turns out opinions differ. Read on and see what you think.

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    AITA House sitting for a friend and she's mad about THIS?

    I'm so confused. I'm staying at my friends house for the week and I'm watching her dog and house (for FREE I might add!) she just freaked out at me because another friend came by real quick to pick up some food I got him. (She saw him leave on her
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    cameras) I feel like her reaction is extreme and inappropriate considering I'm going out of my way to help her this week when I didn't have to. Am I wrong? I don't even know how to respond to this. (Text exchange copied below)
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    Her: Uhh, did some guy just walk out the door? The cameras showed someone leaving the front yard. Me: Yes! Sorry that was [friend], I brought him BBQ and was too tired to drive it to him so he picked it up
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    Her: Ok, I don't appreciate randos at my house. Please don't do that without telling me. Me: He's not a rando! He's one of my best and closest friends for like 7 years now. He literally just picked up his food and was left after 5 minutes of chatting. I wouldn't invite someone dangerous or random or threatening to your house ever!
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    Her: I don't care. I've never met him and I don't want strangers to me in my house without my knowledge.
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    Commenters were split on whether or not this anger was justified, and how she should respond.

    Fresh_Caramel8... • • 14h ago If she trusts you to watch her house and dog, this is a weird reaction. If i were you - this would be the last favor i do like this for her.
    via u/Fresh_Caramel8148
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    Ok-Love3323 OP 14h ago • This is what I thought! And she also knows of this particular friend that dropped by but she's just never met him. It feels like she doesn't trust ME or my judgement.
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    DELILAHBELLE2... . • 13h ago NTA. If I trust you with my house and dog I trust you to allow someone to pick something up. You're not throwing a raging party. You're doing her a huge favour FOR FREE. If she is that paranoid she should
    via u/DELILAHBELLE2605
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    have let you know her rules first so you could decide if you wanted to follow them or not. Not be snarky about a BouDaRy she never communicated. This would be the last favour I ever did for her.
    via u/DELILAHBELLE2605
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    shelltrice • 14h ago . It is interesting how both reactions are represented here. I think a lot depends on how well you know your friend you are housesitting. If this was a good friend of mine I would think she would have more trust in me - and perhaps just ask about a visitor on her camera - you say yes friend of mine.
    via u/shelltrice
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    I can also see why you might be worried you just saw a person leaving your house when you are not home. Mostly I think you could both communicate better and perhaps re think pet sitting in the future. ESH
    via u/shelltrice
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    Cheezburger Image 10464287232
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    F... • • 14h ago Edited 9h ago NAH. She's right not to want people she doesn't know or is comfortable with in/at her home. Also, your generosity doesn't entitle you to override her feelings. That being said, I don't think you really did anything wrong, and I think she's being super dramatic.
    via u/Federal-Rutabaga-267
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    What maybe could have prevented it would have been some softer communication. It started off great. She asked a direct question. You answered, explained, and apologized. She explained her comfort level, set a boundary, and said please.
    via u/Federal-Rutabaga-267
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    After that, it fell apart. My suggestion would ve that instead of being defensive, you should have validated her feelings. Like this, for example: "I understand. I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable. This was one of my closest
    via u/Federal-Rutabaga-267
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    friends. Please know that I would never invite someone that I didn't know intimately to stop by. I didn't think of it as a big deal. Thanks for telling me how you feel." Right or wrong, this would have completely diffused the situation. If she continued it, then she would clearly be TA.
    via u/Federal-Rutabaga-267
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    • Senior_Parking6... 14h ago Soft YTA Sometimes people have real reasons to have extreme reactions to strangers in their private spaces without their consent that you may be unaware of (and they are not obligated to tell you why as it likely involves trauma of
    via u/Senior_Parking6305
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    some kind) and it is common courtesy to ask consent before bringing anyone into someone's home regardless of you doing them a favor or not. Your friend should have made that boundary clear prior to the ask, but it doesn't matter if they are paying you, it's their house.
    via u/Senior_Parking6305
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    It was innocent enough, but when you responded that you knew them so it was fine, you ran all over their rights to make decisions about their home and who comes in it. That's where you ran off the rails.
    via u/Senior_Parking6305
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    Confident_Set42... • 14h ago I mean if SHE doesn't know the person, then she is in the right. Also you said you bought the food, so why didn't you buy the food then just immediately bring it to his house afterwards instead of buying it then going back to her house and having him pick it up from there?
    via u/Confident_Set4216
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    She seemed pretty polite to me from what you gave of the text exchange about it. She said she doesn't want people she doesn't know at her house. Why is that an overreaction? Just because you know it doesn't mean she doesn't. Also there's been cases where friends
    via u/Confident_Set4216
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    have house/dog sat for other friends but let their (the dog/house sitter) friends trash the place and steal stuff because they are given full access to the house
    via u/Confident_Set4216
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    ladymorgana01 · 14h ago I wouldn't mind if my dog sitter had a friend over if she asked first. Finding out after the fact would bother me. Now you know she doesn't want anyone she doesn't know coming to her home. It's up to you if you'll dog sit again now knowing that
    via u/ladymorgana01
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    CakeAccording8... . 13h ago Soft YTA. A lot of people don't want strangers in their house or even knowing their address. You didn't intentionally do something bad. You are doing her a favor and deserve some grace but you did cross a line.
    via u/CakeAccording8112
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    The woman who shared the story then came back with an update.

    UPDATE: Your responses really helped me see this differently from several different perspectives! I agree that I was taking her boundary a little. personally. BUT! I also think she could have been nicer about communicating it with me. Nonetheless I decided to apologize, here's what I said:
    via u/Ok-Love3323
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    Me: I'm really sorry I didn't let you know about [friend]. I should have just walked the food out to the street for him to protect your space. You have a different boundary/preference than I do about my home so that's why I didn't think about it from your perspective. But I am sorry and it won't happen again!
    via u/Ok-Love3323

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