Stepmom demands 20-year-old daughter loan money she inherited from her bio mother to pay step-sister's college tuition, daughter refuses to help: ‘I shut that idea down immediately’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 15, 2025 7:00 PM EST

'Siblings fight' is a sentence many parents use to dismiss feuds between their kids and ignore some relationship issues siblings may experience. 

While, sure, siblings do fight, and it usually ends with forgiveness, and both sides forgetting what they were even fighting about, some cases are not so easily solved. Sometimes an argument between two siblings leads to a serious crisis that might affect their relationship in the future, and it is the parents' job to identify that crisis before it's too late. 

When it comes to step-siblings, and even worse, step-sisters, resolving conflicts between the two of them might be impossible. We all know how intense sisters can become, and if they are still strangers to each other, it is possible they will never be able to mend the rifts that form as they live under the same roof.

The step-sisters in the story below never got to a stage when they actually saw each other as family, mainly because of one fight that happened between them years ago.

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  • Now, years later, the parents are asking one step-sister to help the other pay for her college tuition, since she inherited money from her late mother. But since she doesn't really consider her step-sister as family, and is still mad about the crisis that happened when they were younger, she is not so eager to give away her money.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story.

  • "I wasn't about to give her free money"
    via Kaboompics.com

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to give or loan money to my stepsister for college?"

    My parents divorced when I (20f) was 6. My dad remarried when I was 11. My stepmom had two kids before she married my dad. Jace was already an adult and out of the house. Emmy was 9. Jace
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  • was closer with his dad than he was to my stepmom. While Emmy only ever had my stepmom. She was like an excited puppy when my dad and stepmom met. She was
    via SpendleyFreey
  • really into me and she was looking for us to be super close. It was a little much and she hated when I'd be at my mom's house and tried to get invited over pretty often. My
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  • dad got me a lock so I could protect my bedroom at his house when I was with mom. I was 50-50 with my parents so I'd be gone for a week at a time which seemed risky to
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  • have an overexcited kid who wasn't happy about me being gone having access while I wasn't there. I did tolerate the overexcited parts of Emmy because we
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  • got along mostly fine when my stepmom stepped in and reminded Emmy she didn't get to have my attention. 24/7. But a couple of years after my dad and stepmom
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  • got married things went south. I was sick and couldn't get out of bed and Emmy was told to leave me alone but she didn't and when she tried to make me get up and
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  • play with her I snapped and told her to leave me alone and she cried and told me I was the worst sister and why did I never want to hang out with her. My stepmom came
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  • and pulled her out of the room. When I was better my dad and stepmom did a sit down talk for the four of us and they told Emmy she was wrong to bother me when I
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  • was sick. She ignored them and said she wants to hang out with me and be best friends but I only want her around sometimes. I told her I have my own life and I don't want her attached to my side
    via SpendleyFreey
  • all the time. She cried and my stepmom talked to her more about respecting her space but she decided if I wouldn't be her sister like she wanted then she was mad at me. I stopped making any effort to
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  • spend time with her and focused on my friends. Emmy hated me for it but I never loved spending time with her. I was mostly being nice. But I didn't want the needy energy around all the time.
    via SpendleyFreey
  • Cheezburger Image 10467149056
    via Изображения пользователя Anton Estrada

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In retaliation for it she trashed my room a year and a half later. She broke my school laptop, my cell phone, several photos, tore up a few of my books and tore the stuffy that my late aunt
    via SpendleyFreey
  • bought for me. I refused to stay at my dad's 50% after that. I still saw him but I wanted to be as far from Emmy as possible. I have been really low contact with her since.
    via SpendleyFreey
  • When I was in my senior year of high school my mom was diagnosed with c. she did on my 18th er and birthday. I inherited a really healthy amount from her and a house, that I sold (as per
    via SpendleyFreey
  • mom's instructions) and found a place to call my own. I haven't really spent much of the money. Maybe like 500 in two years and that was to help while I struggled with the money from my job and I
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  • was figuring out what I wanted. My dad knew about the money but not the exact amount. Same with my stepmom. They still don't know how much I have.
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  • Emmy's graduating this summer and she plans to attend college. She's not going to be eligible for any scholarships and my dad and stepmom don't have much
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  • money to help her. My stepmom wanted me to give. Emmy some money for college as a gift to help her out. I shut that idea down immediately and told her I wasn't about to give Emmy
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  • free money. I told her we might have been kids when everything happened but I wasn't about to forget everything that happened either and reward her for it. My stepmom said I should work on bettering my
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  • relationship with Emmy and she still wanted a sister. Then she suggested I loan her some money so she'd have less student loans for college. She mentioned that to Emmy too and Emmy sent me this
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  • plan of how much I could give and when she could start paying it back. I shut that down too and said it wouldn't happen. I also blocked Emmy. My stepmom pushed the issue and I told dad. He asked if there was
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  • any way I'd reconsider and I said no. He said he'd talk to them but my stepmom is still bugging me about it. She told me I should help my sister and all this. I bit back a retort of Emmy isn't my sister
    via SpendleyFreey
  • but I typically get along with my stepmom so I was trying to be less mean about that. But she was really angry I wouldn't consider either option, not even when she offered to pay for the legal fees to obligate Emmy to pay me back. AITA?
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  • Right Cucumber5775 NTA. Keep shutting in down and do not give in. The parents need to figure out college, not you.
    via RightCucumber5775
  • teresajs ΝΤΑ If they actually plan to repay the loans, it shouldn't matter if Emmy borrows the money from you or from a bank. Either way, it's still "student loans", right?
    via teresajs
  • So, your Dad and Stepmother can go cosign on Emmy's loans to help her pay for school. And/or she can work and pay some expenses herself.
    via teresajs
  • Glittering Animal395 You must be incredibly depleted by all this. Sounds like they don't take no for an answer. Too bad they aren't negotiating. NTA.
    via GlitteringAnimal395

Tags

family drama inheritance aita kids student loans mother siblings stepmom reddit story parenting loan family sister stepsister Reddit money women college parents children Father
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