Woman's husband has band practice in their house, woman gets stuck babysitting band members' kids: 'My husband thinks I am weird for saying I don’t want to take care of his bandmates kids'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 22, 2025 6:00 PM EST

If you've never had the dream of becoming a musician, you've probably still had the dream of being in a relationship with one. Going on the road and getting to be a part of the glitz and glamour. Getting songs dedicated to you. Being in the audience and thinking to yourself, 'That one up there? They're mine all mine.' It's a romantic idea, and yet, it's hard not to imagine the drawbacks. Their long nights at the studio doing 'just one more song.' Their long weeks away on tour when you can't go to follow them. The sobering reality of loving a rockstar is enough to make you throw away the whole idea. Or at least, to keep it in your daydreams.

Still, whoever our partner may be, we want to support them in their hobbies or interests. And if that means letting them play in the basement with their unsuccessful band, then so be it. One woman has been doing that for years for her husband. But lately, she's been getting stuck babysitting his bandmates' kids. Should she just grin and bear it? Or does she have the right to put her foot down in this situation? Scroll through to decide.

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    STATION DEPT 212-712-423 CD's 1$10 2 for $15 Marta from Brook YAMAHA KARIKATURA Gheegjon Fusion Band Joe Who (34) 700-000 KarkaturaNYC@me.com
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    "AITAH for not wanting to babysit my husband’s bandmates kids?"

    So for reference: 1. We have a preteen daughter who doesn't really hang out with little kids
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    2. My husband who has been in many bands before which have all amounted to nothing besides his enjoyment (totally fine with him playing, etc.) and this current band he is in have only played one gig in the last 5 years so clearly going no where special or making any sort of income, he even admits it's likely to go nowhere
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    3. We always have his band record/write songs at our house, he has a mini studio set up in the garage and under our small 2 b'room house so going to one of their houses is not an option
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    4. I hardly know these people, in the 5 years he has known them they have probably been here less than a dozen times and I really only say hello, serve some lunch for everyone and say goodbye I don't want to get in their way or "waste time" when they could be recording
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    5. The mother (she is married but the husband works all the time) of the children (7 y.o. & 5 y.o.) is financially well off but has no family here for help, don't get me wrong I feel for her but I don't see how this is my problem at the end of the day
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    6. These kids are a handful, not anything extreme, we only have one tv and the older one just plugs his Xbox in to play fortnight the whole time while the littler one just pulls out our daughters toys and makes mess like kids do - if I put out snacks/fruit they will eat everything in sight without leaving some for others and leave food mess everywhere
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    7. Living in a small place, I have nowhere to go if they are here, I just basically hover around and fulfil everyone else's needs for the day (usually here between 9am - 4pm). It's awkward.
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    My husband thinks I am weird and being a b for saying I don't want to take care of his bandmates kids, I have only said no the one time but because I am a SAHM and don't have my own hobbies I should be happy to watch his mates kids on the rare occasion it happens - AITAH?
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    People in the comments were on this woman's side and offered advice on what to do next time.

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    Seems like it's not fun music to listen to anyway...

    You should leave the house when this happens. "Enjoy your band time, I'm heading out. See you later" • doesn't matter where NTA you go, just make yourself unavailable
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    NTA Band comes over, you take your kids out for the day before they get there. Local library, park, friends house. Any place but home.
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    Why can't their mom watch her own kids? Is she putting her foot down at your expense?
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    Hold up, your husband thinks you're a b because you're not happy he voluntold you?
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    What kind of a man calls his wife a b ? Your husband is being a b for thinking any of this ok and then calling you out of your name for HIS raggedy a band mates and her kids.definitely NTA
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    A little extreme, but they've got the spirit.

    When they come, you should lock all of your personal and household valuables and go to the library, for a walk, or to a cafe when they come. Make it clear that none of this sh is on you.
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    NTA. If the woman wants to be in a band, she has to arrange for her own childcare. You're not here to support her hobby; only your husband's.
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    Inform him that from now on, you'll stay out of the house when they "rehearse." Since no children are allowed unsupervised in your home while you're gone, she needs to arrange her own babysitting.
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    If that makes you a b then so be it.
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Dating-Relationships Music aita reddit story relationships husband babysitting reddit thread Reddit band
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