'I called her a pathetic insecure woman who I wanted nothing more to do with:' Stepmom rejoices in woman's pregnancy complications, bringing their strained relationship to a head

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 22, 2025 5:00 PM EST

They say that once you get your first hater, you know you've made it. It's hard to live life without acquiring at least one person who is praying for your downfall. Some people just like to revel in other people's misery. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe they think you've wronged them. Maybe they just live with spite in their heart. Whatever the case, having a hater means learning how to live with them. You can let it get to you, or you can take it as a twisted form of flattery. This person lets you occupy so much space in their brain that they have to be angry about it. Let it affect their life, not yours. You know, peace be with you (and with your spirit or whatever they say now).

Having a hater in your life is no small feat, though, especially if you are constantly in close proximity to them. Creating boundaries with a hater who you have to see all the time can be quite the challenge, and sometimes you have to live and let live a lot more than you'd like. One woman experienced that when her stepmom was openly excited about her pregnancy issues. Read on to see how it plays out.

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    "AITA for snapping at my stepmom when she was gleeful about my difficult pregnancy because it was something we were alike in?"

    My parents divorced when I (28f) was 3. My dad introduced me to my stepmom when I was 6 and he married her when I was 7. She admits herself she was incredibly jealous of my dad having a child with another woman and the fact I was so close to mom made her jealousy worse because it meant we could never be a real little family of the three of us. She'd get
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    family of the three of us. She'd get really sarcastic and passive aggressive when she was faced with my mom and she was really needy and whiney about wanting us to have our thing. I didn't like her for it and when my mom di d when I was 12 she got even worse.
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    It was like she thought with my mom de d she was going to be able to swoop in and we'd be bffs and I'd be her daughter. Never mind the fact she has kids with my dad, 5 now but 2 when my mom had died. I was alike my mom in a
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    had di d. I was alike my mom in a lot of ways and she'd tell me it bothered her that I liked still being like mom even after she was de d. I told her in a very teenage angry way that I didn't give a cr p about what bothered her. I told her she
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    what bothered her. I told her she wasn't my mom and to get over herself. My dad was angry I spoke to his wife that way but he did tell her she shouldn't tell me things like that either and that I was always going to love my mom and want to take after her.
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    Our relationship never got better. I spoke to dad about how I felt and he wanted me to try some family therapy with the two of them with a focus on bettering our relationship but I told him I wasn't interested but I'd be more civil and I'd tolerate her better since I knew he loved her. He offered the family
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    he loved her. He offered the family therapy suggestion a few times but he knew there was no point to it if I didn't want a closer relationship with her. He backed off for good when I asked him if he'd want a better relationship with her if he was in my shoes.
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    My stepmom never stopped trying. She told me multiple times she just wanted me to feel like I was hers too and that she didn't want to always hear how much of my mom's daughter I am. She said it
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    mom's daughter I am. She said it felt like everyone wanted her to know that I would never be hers and I told her she might have felt like that because I'm not hers. I told her if anything had happened to dad I never would have been okay staying with her. I told her the
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    okay staying with her. I told her the more she tried to force the issue and the more she made her jealousy clear the less interest | had in interacting with her.
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    All of this has led to now. I'm expecting my first child with my husband and my pregnancy has not liked me so far. I was diagnosed with hg and the sickness isn't really helped by anything. All I can do is keep trying
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    anything. All I can do is keep trying to get something small into me when possible and get IV fluids on the worse days. I also have some pretty awful back pain even though I'm not showing much yet.
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    Sounds like a stepmonster to me...

    It's been miserable but I keep looking forward to the baby coming. My stepmom on the other hand thinks this is great and she was beaming about it when we saw her and my dad and my half siblings. She said oh you poor thing but finally we have something in common and that it was all she ever wanted.
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    I was furious. I told her to get the f away from me and I called her a pathetic insecure woman who I wanted nothing more to do with. I told her she can claim she loves me and just wants us to be close all she likes but she was celebrating my pregnancy issues like it was anything other than awful. My husband and I left right away and I could hear her crying.
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    My dad told me I didn't need to get so angry about it and to think about staying calm so I wouldn't make my sickness worse. I told him I was finished being civil with his wife and that she can claim she just wants us to be alike in something.
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    My half brother texted me a few hours after we left and said I owed his mom an apology and that I had been unjustly unfair to his mom who only ever wanted my acceptance and love and to not be reminded she came after my mom. AITA for my reaction and what I said?
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    Commenters told this woman that her stepmom was not to be trusted.

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    Your stepmom just wanted to turn your pregnancy into a twisted family bonding experience.
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    Ask your brother if he'd call dads new wife mom if his di d. Ask him if he'd be okay with constantly being told he should get over her death and accept his new mom because that's allIIIII she ever wanted.
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    F them. Your stepmother is unhinged and she absolutely will project this on your kid and bask in the fact that your mom isn't around to be grandma. She absolutely
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    I don't want to know what "grandma claws" are...

    be grandma. She absolutely gonna try and get her grandma claws into your baby and make sure the baby is HER grandchild and not your mums. She's a jealous, insecure weirdo you're absolutely correct.
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    Your stepmom treating your pain like a friendship bracelet is unhinged, and the fact that your dad and half-brother think you should just smile through it is even worse- being family doesn't mean tolerating emotional leeches.
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    Hope the rest of your pregnancy is filled with actual support and none of her weird, insecure nonsense.
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    NTA - it's kinda sick to be glad someone is seriously ill so they're the same as you.
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    "I've been praying you have a miserable and dangerous pregnancy so we can bond," just isn't the boost she thinks it is. NTA
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family drama aita pregnancy stepmom reddit story argument family reddit thread Reddit
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