Man demands brother feed his picky-eater children before family dinners after they refuse every meal, constantly insult his wife: ‘I told him we weren’t running a short-order kitchen and that my wife puts effort into these meals. He ended up not coming’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 20, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Family dinners are a strange ritual. In theory, they're about bonding, sharing a meal, you know breaking bread, but in practice, they often end up breaking your patience instead. an elaborate test of tolerance. Behind every plate of home-cooked food lurks an unspoken social hierarchy of who gets to make demands and who has to bend over backwards to meet them. Hosting is, more often than not, not just hosting—it's an unpaid gig where you're expected to whip up magic while juggling everyone's endless preferences, complaints, and "little quirks." Someone can't eat gluten, someone else hates vegetables, and at least one person will casually insult the food before asking for seconds. It's a delicate balancing act, and when kids enter the picture, balancing turns into outright chaos.  

Some children aren't just picky eaters—they're little ambassadors of their parents' values and routines. One family's table manners are another family's table-side terror.  These differences in educating styles can turn shared meals into battlegrounds of parenting philosophies.  

Some parents choose the "eat what's served" school of thought, while others let their kids dictate menus with a boxed mac-and-cheese iron fist.

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  • "AITA for telling my brother to feed his kids beforehand instead of catering to their picky eating?"

    "His kids are extremely picky eaters"
    via 3bugsmom

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So, my wife (28F) is an amazing cook. She loves trying new recipes, and honestly, her food is restaurant-quality. We often invite family over for dinner, and it's always a hit-except with my brother (35M) and his kids (8F & 10M).
    via s1mply_h3r

  • One man learned this the hard way when his brother’s ultra-picky kids started treating his wife’s lovingly prepared meals like a personal insult. The tension between their parenting styles—his brother’s "just feed them what they’ll eat" approach versus his wife’s passion for real cooking—boiled over when he suggested they solve the problem by feeding the kids ahead of time. Turns out, nothing says “family” quite like a perfectly good roast getting caught in the crossfire of parenting differences and unspoken grievances.

  • His kids are extremely picky eaters. I'm talking about the kind of picky where they'll only eat plain pasta, chicken nuggets, or grilled cheese. Whenever they come over, they refuse to eat anything my wife makes, no
    via s1mply_h3r
  • matter how simple or kid-friendly she tries to make it. They won't even try homemade mac and cheese because "it's not the box kind." This has led to multiple dinners where my wife spends
    via s1mply_h3r

  • " they’ll only eat plain pasta, chicken nuggets, or grilled cheese."

    Cheezburger Image 10469177344
    via Odua Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • hours cooking, only for my brother to roll his eyes and say, "Guess we'll have to stop somewhere on the way home." Last time, my niece even said, "Ew, what's that smell?" when my wife was cooking. It was
    via s1mply_h3r
  • frustrating, but we let it slide. So last weekend, we invited my parents, my brother, and his kids for dinner again, but this time, I told my brother, "Hey, if your kids aren't going to eat, maybe just feed them before you come." He
    via s1mply_h3r
  • got all offended and said I was being ride and that we should just make something they'll eat. I told him we weren't running a short-order kitchen and that my wife puts effort into these meals.
    via s1mply_h3r
  • He ended up not coming, and now my mom is saying I should've just made the kids something simple. My wife says she's fine, but I can tell she was
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  • hurt. I'm not sure what to do, I feel like I have to apologize, I didn't want this to become a whole thing, maybe we can make nuggets separately?
    via s1mply_h3r
  • RandomReddit9791 Just don't invite them over. Your niece and nephew are ride and your brother isn't helping to correct their behavior. You tried to compromise by asking him to feed them beforehand and he refused. Let it go.
    via RandomReddit9791

  • They won’t even try homemade mac and cheese because "it’s not the box kind."

    Cheezburger Image 10469177600
    via Aleksej Sarifulin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Ready-Piglet-415 NTA. Both my kids were picky eaters when they were young. I either fed them beforehand, or took something simple to heat up for them. I would never imagine making others cater to them.
    via Ready-Piglet-415
  • SunnilnWV My parents would have clocked me into next week for being so r de to an auntie. NTA and I'd tell your mama she should have raised your brother better than to accept that behavior from his kids.
    via SunnilnWV
  • Open-Incident-3601 NTA. If your mom wants separate meals for the kids, she needs to prepare them separate meals and bring them with.
    via Open-Incident-3601
  • Fickle_Toe1724 NTA. Your brother should not be invited. I would say he should teach his kids some manners, but he apparently doesn't have any manners either.
    via Fickle_Toe1724
  • Rolling his eyes, and saying they will have to stop on the way home? That is ride. We know why his children are r de. If mom is that upset, tell her SHE needs to teach that son some manners.
    via Fickle_Toe1724
  • Relatents 1. The children's meals are not your responsibility besides offering them whatever is being served. They may be neurodivergent or have ARFID or any other reason besides just pickiness, but it is still their parent's responsibility to provide for their needs.
    via Relatents
  • 2. These children are being ride and unless there are additional reasons that limit them, they are certainly old enough to learn how to behave themselves. A polite "no thank you"
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  • should be sufficient and in turn their refusal should be politely respected by the others. (Their parents can decide when they should be urged to try something new or not.)
    via Relatents
  • If they won't be polite guests then I would stop inviting them to meals until they mature.
    via Relatents
  • Large Effective_812 NTA, but why do you keep inviting him, tell your mom she is welcome to cook for them but we are not a restaurant this is a meal well prepared by my wife and that bro and kids are no longer welcome as they aren't good guests. Let your mother deal with
    via Large_Effective_812
  • him or worry about it. Your brother is ride. My mom has celiacs and she never presumes food will be made for her. She eats before hand and always has the salad at family dinners it's more about the company for her not the food.
    via Large_Effective_812
  • MBiddy828 NTA Your wife pours her heart into her cooking. She goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels included and makes food special for your niece and nephew. If their response is always r de and ungrateful I don't
    via MBiddy828
  • see anything wrong with asking your brother to feed his kids before they come over. How often does your bother's family host you guys? Does his family put in the same effort to host as you do?
    via MBiddy828
  • uhgirlnamedzeke Tell him to bring food with him. The kids aren't the problem. He should do the catering.
    via uhgirlnamedzeke

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