Mother-in-law throws crying tantrum over daughter-in-law’s no-shoes rule, and sends father-in- law to complain when emotional manipulation fails to work: ‘she feels like I’m “trying to assert dominance” over her in her son’s home. (Our home, actually.)’

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 23, 2025 6:00 AM EST

Today on Supernanny: Senior Edition, we explore a common behavioral issue: the fully-grown adult who responds to basic household rules with preschool-level coping mechanisms. Remember, parents, I mean, homeowners - consistency is key when dealing with these challenging behaviors.

Let's observe this fascinating case study: Upon hearing the simple directive "Please remove your shoes," our subject immediately displays classic signs of emotional regression. Notice the theatrical sighing, followed by the advanced manipulation technique known as preemptive victimhood presented by the likes of "You're really gonna make me do this?

When these initial resistance strategies fail, watch carefully as the subject escalates to Level 3 behavioral response: the strategic crying episode. This is typically followed by the advanced maneuver of triangulation, where the subject's spouse is recruited to send strongly worded texts about the emotional damage inflicted by basic floor hygiene requests.

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  • "AITA for making my BF’s mom cry because of a “petty” rule?"

    "His parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Remember, it's crucial not to reinforce these behaviors by backing down. Your boundary-challenged mother-in-law needs to learn that tears, while impressive in their spontaneous deployment, are not actually a valid argument against keeping floors clean.

    Stay firm, stay consistent, and remember: just because someone has mastered the art of turning shoe removal into a psychological crisis doesn't mean you need to enroll in their dramatic performance workshop.

  • So me (24F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together for almost 2 years and live together. His mom is very involved in his life (some might say overbearing, but I try to be respectful). She's nice but has this way of like, pushing boundaries while acting like she means well.
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  • So the issue: I have a "no shoes in the house" rule. My bf is cool with it, all my friends do it no problem. But his mom refuses. She claims it's "r de to ask guests
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  • to take their shoes off" and that it makes her feel "disrespected." I've tried explaining that it's just a cleanliness thing but she won't budge.
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  • Last weekend she came over and, surprise surprise, walked in with her shoes on. I very politely (I swear) said, "oh, can you take them off please?" She kinda huffs and is like, "You're really gonna
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  • make me do this?" And I just stood there waiting. She sighs dramatically, takes them off, and spends the whole visit sulking.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Then later I get a TEXT from my bf's dad saying I made her cry and she feels like I'm "trying to assert dominance" over her in her son's home. (Our home, actually.)
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  • My bf is on my side but now his parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England. AITA for standing my ground on a very normal rule???
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  • ImpressiveBig7730 NTA. If your husband is aligned, how's he handling the situation? I'd expect him to call them and shut it down. The dad shouldn't be attacking you and your
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  • husband should be standing up for you. It sounds like he agrees, but what's he doing to solve the issue.
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  • Kin-ethra NTA. She is going out of her way to guilt you into letting her disrespect YOUR home. Buy some of those shoe covers they wear to crime scenes or put plastic grocery bags by the door and ask her to cover her shoes inside
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • the home. Otherwise you just offer an outside visit and she can keep her shoes on
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  • ninjafox250 Hahaha man, tell her to never come to Canada. Or probably a lot of other countries for that matter. Shoes are for OUTSIDE.
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  • Sea_Auntie 7599 NTA but your bf needs to stands up to his mom. The only reason she is doing it is because she knows her son won't do confront her to her face and have an actual adult conversation 1. It's her baby--the son 2. She don't
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  • see him and a man, an adult. 3. She still wants to be momma boy (Google up the psychological affects momma boys have and being mother dependant relationship) 4. She has no
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  • respect for you because you are taking her son away. When in reality your very presence makes his world more meaningful and colorful..
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  • He needs to set up and stand firm on boundaries with this mom.
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  • absolutebeast_ NTA -Let's hope she never gets friends from or in other countries, because in lots of places in the world, taking off your shoes or using inside shoes is expected, and it's considered very ride to walk in with shoes on.
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  • Would she be happier if she had a designated pair of slippers or something she could put on? If the issue is not having footwear on, that's fixable.
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  • Also wearing outdoor shoes indoors is insane to me, but I'm not from the US.
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  • Teshi NTA. People who don't want to appear in socked or bare feet can do what everyone in the world who feels this way and bring slip on inside shoes or slippers.
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  • MsMarkarth NTA. But you've got a boyfriend problem not an "in-law" problem. Under no circumstances should either of these people be treating you the way they are, and your boyfriend needs to make that exceptionally clear to them. Otherwise
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  • you're in for "well this is how my wedding was" and "this is how I raised my kids" until she gets her son back from you.
    via MsMarkarth

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