Father refuses to force his 11-year-old son to play a sport against his wife's wishes, stops funding son's lessons to do what's best for his kid: ‘He was sad’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 22, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Let's face it… Not everyone is the sporty kind of person. Some might even be athletic but simply hate playing certain sports for no reason other than the fact that they don't like it. Parenting rule number one is not to make your child do all of the things you wish you did when you were their age. It's the typical high school football player cliché: "That's your dream, parent! Not mine!"

As a parent, you would gain nothing but resentment from your star-player child and a hefty bill from wasted sports lessons they never really paid attention to. What matters most is that your child is happy doing the things they're actually passionate about, and one should always support healthy hobbies and activities. Our likes and dislikes are what make us who we are! In this next story, though, an 11-year-old's mother refuses to pull her son out of squash even though he told his father he didn't like playing it. So, after the father's failed attempt at getting through to his wife, he vows to stop financially contributing to the lessons. That didn't end well…

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  • An 11-year-old is old enough to know what they want and don't want to do. That's why when the father who wrote this story talks to his kid about how upset he seems whenever he's finished playing squash, he listens. Children need to grow up in an environment where they feel seen and heard, and this father is trying his best to make sure that happens. He makes it very clear to his wife that he will not fund an activity that burdens his young son after failing to come to a compromise with her.

  • "He didn't want to disappoint his mom."
    via Jonathan Castañeda For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITAH for refusing to continue being the one supporting my son's participation in a sport he is not that enthusiastic about, but my wife is?"

    Burner for privacy. My wife (40F) grew up as a competitive athlete (squash), playing through college on an NCAA championship team. Her whole family is very into competitive sports. I (47M), on
    via Common-Objective6338
  • the other hand, never had much interest. That's not to say that I was a couch potato. I was and have always been a frequent gym-goer and into road cycling and skiing (for fun, not competition).
    via Common-Objective6338
  • We have a son (11M). My wife put him into squash lessons/clinics starting at age 7. She's now started signing him up for tournaments. Even though this is mostly her doing, I am the one
    via Common-Objective6338
  • taking him to and from lessons/clinics, driving to tournaments, etc. I'm also essentially the person financially responsible for our entire lifestyle (with my separate money I
    via Common-Objective6338
  • bought our houses, cars, pay all the utilities, insurance, school tuition). My wife make close to 6- figures, gets to spend it all on whatever she wants and still
    via Common-Objective6338
  • usually has approximately zero dollars in her bank account. I'm not complaining about this (my income and wealth is multiples of hers), but this will be relevant later.
    via Common-Objective6338
  • I've noticed that our son seems kind of down when I have to take him to squash and more down after he's done it. He has a lot of other interests: he loves coding, he plays guitar, he likes to ski, he
    via Common-Objective6338
  • likes bouldering, and between that and school (he is a conscientious and good student) time is very scarce. The same is true for me. But both my son and I are finding our ability to do
    via Common-Objective6338
  • these other activities is being interfered with by my wife's insistence about how much time goes into squash. I should say that my son is ok at it, but he is never going to play Division One
    via Common-Objective6338
  • college, so it's not like college admissions/scholarships are in play here. I think it is great if he can play the game socially later in life, but he could achieve that spending 25% of the time on it that he does. And certainly, we
    via Common-Objective6338
  • wouldn't need to burn whole weekends on tournaments. I've asked my wife to pick up more of the slack for shuttling him to squash stuff, but she always says she has work she needs to do that makes it impossible.
    via Common-Objective6338
  • Cheezburger Image 10470424064
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Recently, my wife signed him up for a tournament which conflicted with a bouldering event he wanted to do. He was sad. I asked him, "do you want to keep doing this much squash?" He said that he didn't, but he didn't want to disappoint his mom. I
    via Common-Objective6338
  • said I'd talk to her about it. She was resistant to letting him do less, saying that he would appreciate it once he "pushes through." I told her that she needs to address this with our son and that in the meantime, I
    via Common-Objective6338
  • was done dedicatin MY time and money to squash. If she wanted him to do more than a lesson or two a week, she would have to bring him and pay for it out of her own money. And if our son refused to cooperate with her in
    via Common-Objective6338
  • doing more squash than he wants, I would not enforce any consequences. She says that it isn't fair: she doesn't have the same money or time available that I have. I said, if you feel this passionate about our son's
    via Common-Objective6338
  • squash, then you need to put your money and time where you mouth is and not just decree that our son needs to do it and I need to be the chauffeur. She thinks I am being an asshole about it and a sing my greater wealth and
    via Common-Objective6338
  • more flexible schedule (actually it is not more flexible, I am just way more efficient at getting work done and being able to work hunched over a laptop at the squash courts) to "get what I want". Wondering what the collective wisdom of the Reddit Crowd thinks?
    via Common-Objective6338
  • BulbasaurRanch Stop forcing this kid to do something he doesn't want to do just to appease his uninvolved mother. NTA
    via BulbasaurRanch
  • Pretty-Handle98... Competitive sports are rarely fun if it isn't a sport you are genuinely passionate about.
    via Pretty-Handle9818
  • SpareVisual1815 Nta You listened to your son. Your wife isn't. She wants him to do what she has done but he wants to do other things that you are fully supportive of him doing. Your wife needs to pay for it and drive him to and from the squash activities if she wants him to do it. Don't back down.
    via SpareVisual1815
  • Your wife is an asshole for what she is saying and asking you to do. You pay bills, groceries and all the house stuff it seems from your post meaning what she makes is all on herself, she needs to help out. She needs to pay stuff for the house. Doesn't matter if you make more or not, she's your wife, your partner so she needs to act like one.
    via SpareVisual1815
  • Do not back down from what you are doing but tell her she needs to listen to your son's wants and not force him to do something he don't bloody wanna do.
    via SpareVisual1815

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family drama aita entitled parents sports AITAH mother sport reddit story family feud parenting dad family Reddit Parenting Fail parents children Father Parenting FAILS
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