30+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (February 22, 2025)

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  • 01

    It's literally so hard

    Juicy J ✔ @AddictKE we never discuss the emotional labor of guys holding back great jokes and comebacks to not make their girl cry 8:10 AM 2/8/25 3M Views • . 450 1 11K 118K 6.5K ↑
  • 02

    Gonna have to take out an egg loan

    gaythembo @thembosnack you will never financially recover from this ali @alidomrongchai .4d i just fell to my knees
  • 03

    Got em

    greg✪ @greg16676935420 That makes sense. If you're the CEO of the alphabet you should make sure to include all 26 letters *Walter Bloomberg @DeItaone .1d ALPHABET CEO SAYS BIGGEST RISK IS MISSING OUT ON AI 4:08 PM 2/10/25 1.2M Views 311 1.7K 32K 471 ↑
  • 04

    Simpler times, simpler times

    Witch @Space_Bunzzz Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies. 4:23 PM 2/8/25. 753K Views 57 17 8K 66K 1.4K ↑
  • 05

    A true bookworm

    Only1Ray 0 @4theloveofRay_ Someone stole my debit card info and spent $600 at Barnes & Noble in New York. What kind of academic thug behavior is this 3:47 PM 2/13/25 7.3M Views ◇ 1.6K 18K 298K 7.1K 企
  • 06
    ALEC @alecsbutt life imitates art 00 9:36 PM 2/15/25 2.7M Views . 139 1 15K 177K ☐ 4.6K 企
  • 07
    MILES @premiles_ Savannah is one of the only girl's names that's also a significant "biome" 5:26 PM 2/13/25 2.4M Views 739 tz 2.4K 95K 2.7K ↑,
  • 08
    hanaliaTS @evermoreguardan yeah it was called the coronavirus Sam Ts @samistortured • 1d Something was in the air when Taylor Swift released. these albums 1:56 AM 2/16/25 2.2M Views 44 17 5K 94K ☐ 674 企
  • 09
    woody ❤ @nyrbhimself I just unplugged the Wi-Fi and heard "THE F from across the street 9:10 AM 2/15/25 4.6M Views 746 12K 244K ☐ 5K ↑
  • 10
    President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro If only there was a song that coulda told him about a prenup POP Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d CRAVE TMZ reports Kanye West & Bianca Censori don't have a prenuptial agreement. 6:01 PM 2/15/25.7M Views • 318 1 6.3K 125K ☐ 2.1K ↑
  • 11
    Skin Muffins ☑ @SkinMuffins Why can't we just spell it brockly. 12:25 AM 2/16/25 32K Views Q44 17127 922
  • 12
    Images Al Could Never Recreate @imagesaicouldnt dudes rock iputmilkinearlgrey Follow 2d ago parents got a new cat they named lord. montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound 2:00 PM 2/10/25 965K Views 16 1 4.2K 77K 3.5K ↑
  • 13
    Jay Cuda❤ @JayCuda patrick mahomes super bowl record. When Tom Brady When Tom Brady When Tom is playing is announcing Brady is Not Involved 0-1 0-1 3-0 • 10:19 PM 2/9/25 1.8M Views • 105 [ 2.9K 65K ☐ 1.8K 企
  • 14
    noah @capsboybebop as a philadelphia eagles fan since february 2025 i can't put into words how much this all means to me 10:23 PM 2/9/25 1.6M Views 200 t7 23K 171K 3.2K 企
  • 15
    pub → @smubpublius "YOU WANT A SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?! CAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU GET A SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU" 10:25 PM 2/9/25 70K Views 13 17212 2K 69 69 ↑
  • 16
    @freauxmama Someone said that Drake might pop out at the Super Bowl to perform poetic justice with Kendrick and someone commented "Yall think this is Marvel❞ GIF 9:34 AM 2/8/25 3.6M Views 261 1 13K 221K ☐ 3.9K 企
  • 17
    McNeil @Reflog_18 BIGPLAY "It shall be called the Super Bowl and will be a huge national event played deep into the night on Sunday when everyone must go into work on Monday." "Why not play it on Saturday?" "Nobody knows." 8:54 AM 2/9/25 1.4M Views 306 13.6K 47K 636 ↑
  • 18
    milfvia plath @gaynarowlands oh my god "you're so funny" Thanks! I played a prostitute in a movie when I was 12! Brooke Shields 10h ago + 437.1K 1,425 13.8K 9,443
  • 19
    A.K.A → @kayzywizzzy Men only have money the first month of dating, that's recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget 11:10 AM 2/6/25 3M Views 531 17 9.9K 92K ☐ 6.2K .↑.
  • 20
    k@te and discontent @716Transplant Ok but to be fair every single Bills fan looks at Josh Allen like this best of hailee steinfeld @archiveshailees. 14h find someone that looks at you the way hailee steinfeld looks at josh allen 11:43 PM 2/6/25.2M Views 14 tz 1.1K 41K 539 企
  • 21
    William Shatner @WilliamShatner I never said that. I said "I'd do me" Doctor Quantum @DoctorQuantum . 12h EWM "I would f me" ~William Shatner 8:57 PM 2/6/25 664K Views 1K 1.4K 22K 536 企
  • 22
    John Attridge @John_Attridge Can anyone recommend some good introductory books for someone just getting into reading performatively on public transport 6:31 AM 2/6/25 1.4M Views 575 12.7K 58K 2.6K 企
  • 23
    Böb Jänke: Hönky ❤ @Bob Janke Think they'll get rid of the IRS before April or should I file 9:29 PM 2/5/25 812K Views ○ 228 17 2.4K 33K 436
  • 24
    Inverse Cramer @CramerTracker Unfortunately the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services You can rent it for $2.99 though 10:50 PM 2/15/25 2.7M Views 707 1 11K 129K 1.7K ↑
  • 25
    gabbi (toxic version) ❤ @its_GOP USA vs Canada, February 2025 (colorized) 9:21 AM 2/16/25 2M Views 169 4.2K 62K 1.5K 企
  • 26
    big content guy @bigcontentguy NBA Player- "I can't play in the back to back because my knee is a little sore " NHL Player- "I am willing to di for my country in this exhibition" 9:24 PM 2/15/25 1.7M Views • 325 1 6.8K 84K 1.6K ↑
  • 27
    Meek Mill @Meek Mill It's no way I'm letting Elon musk have more baby mothers than me lol 1:35 PM 2/16/25 3.3M Views . 1.4K 16.4K 48K ☐ 1.9K ↑
  • 28
    machine yearning engineer @confusionm8trix I think about this a lot roon @tszzl 12/25/21 the person who names a thing is often more powerful than the real discoverer 33 17 39 Andrew Reed @andrew_reed i call this "reed's law" 6:11 PM - 12/25/21 12 508 山 Follow 140 1K ☐ 24 ↑ . 12:12 PM 2/15/25 1.3M Views 49 13.3K 101K 3.8K ↑
  • 29
    Vivian @suchnerve never stops being darkly funny to me that doctors struggle to diagnose autism while a 12- year-old bu y can do it in 10 seconds flat ° 3:24 AM 2/15/25 4.5M Views 309 19K 342K ☐ 12K ↑
  • 30
    Silas P. Silas @KennySpenceNBA Netflix is creeping towards $30/month and I just don't know what they even think they have on there 9:30 AM 2/15/25 7.5M Views Q 2.8K 1 18K 289K 4.4K 企
  • 31
    caitie delaney @caitiedelaney This couple on love is blind can't believe how lucky they are to have found each other because they both love Christmas. It seems so soothing to be low key dumb 3:14 AM 2/16/25 1.1M Views 68 1.4K 61K 1.1K 企
  • 32
    greg⭑ @greg16676935420 I hope they blocked off the entrance to the slide as well and it's not just full of kids trying to get out SLIDE CLOSED 6:38 PM 2/14/25 308K Views 424 17555 15K 193 ↑
  • 33
    Meg @megannn_lynne having a completely hopeless crush is kinda fun like Yayyyyy no stakes at all • 1:29 PM 2/13/25 4.9M Views 316 17 26K 243K ☐ 11K ↑
  • 34
    pxt @paulxt [sorrowfully] my wife NEW YORK POST New York Post @nypost. 1d Sacha Baron Cohen feels 'utterly betrayed' by Isla Fisher's new remarks as their $75M divorce gets nasty: report trib.al/7wM6yk6 7:58 PM 2/15/25.4.2M Views 58 12.8K 77 1.6K

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