Father refuses to meddle in his 22-year-old son's relationship despite girlfriend's demands, leading to a family dispute after an intense break-up: 'Tension has been high'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 24, 2025 9:00 AM EST

It's a struggle for every parent to find the line of where they should stop meddling in their kids' lives. Sure, you gave them life, raised them, and the whole reason they are here on this earth is because of you. But we all know that these facts do not give you the right to control their lives, or even the permission to get involved in things that have nothing to do with you. Your child is their own person and deserves to be treated as such.

Unfortunately, many parents find it impossible to come to terms with these parental guidelines, which leads them to invade their kids' privacy in ways that might affect their relationships for their entire lives. 

That is exactly what the father in the story below was trying to avoid, and why he refused to meddle in his 22-year-old son's relationship. Despite the father's girlfriend's demands to interfere and convince his son not to break up with his girlfriend, the dad stood firm on his decision to stay out of it, keep scrolling to read how that turned out.

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  • 01
    "I'm minding my own business"
    via kieferpix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for refusing from my GF's demand that I have a "talk" with my 22-year-old about his breakup with her goddaughter?"

    This is a burner account. This past Christmas my son ("JC") broke up with a girl ("Mary") he had been dating since he was 16. Mary indicated to JC that wanted to be engaged
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    and married within the next year. JC does not want to be married until after medical school, so he ended the relationship. Mary did not take it well. She has tried to
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    get him to reconsider, but he has decided the relationship has run its course. My GF ("Kelly") is the godmother of Mary and best
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    friends with her mom ("Sara"). I met her through my son's ex's parents. We have dated for about a year and a half, mostly long distance. Kelly moved in with
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    Ime in November. She has heard from Mary and Sara about the breakup and asked me to talk to my son about it. Basically, she wants me to get him to reconsider.
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    I refuse. As far as I am concerned, he made a rational and mature decision to end a relationship where they fundamentally want different things.
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    Until this week, this disagreement has not caused any real issues for us. Well, JC took out another girl on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day was their "anniversary" (they had their
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    first date on Valentine's Day in 2018). Well, this ped Mary off and she called JC and tried to have it out with her. JC hung up on her and blocked her. Mary and Sara called Kelly. Kelly tells me
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    that I need to at least have a discussion with JC about being sensitive to Mary's feelings. I refuse to have this discussion. I told her, while breakups sk, Mary has to
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    learn how to deal with it. Kelly said I am being an a Tensions have been high. AITA?
    via Complex-Staff1601

  • Unless he is asked to, a father should not tell his son what to do when it comes to relationships, especially since the son is a full-grown adult, who seems to know what he wants.

    Parents should learn a thing or two from this father, who respect his kid enough to not get himself involved when he was not asked to. 

  • 12
    fiestafan73 Apparently you are the only person in the room who minds their own business and doesn't try to interfere in the relationships of other adults.
    via fiestafan73
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    Mary sounds way too immature to be married, and frankly so does your girlfriend. You and your son are making smart and rational decisions here. NTA.
    via fiestafan73
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    Mother Search3350 Kelly needs to mind the business that pays her. She has been a part of JC's life for a year and she is already overstepping.
    via Mother_Search3350
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    JC is an adult and has every right to decide who he wants to date and have a relationship with and not have his father's girlfriend inserting herself in his life.
    via Mother_Search3350
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    If she doesn't want to completely destroy any potential relationship with your son, she needs to stay in her lane and mind the business that brought her into that house which is you. She has an unhealthy disregard for boundaries.
    via Mother_Search3350
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    Cheezburger Image 10472054784
    via Mixmike

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    camkats NTA wow way too much meddling by mom and godmother. Be warned yourself!
    via camkats
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    throwaway1_2_0_2_1 And maybe he could have the decency to hear her out and then make an informed decision. College boys are always just so rational and kind, right?
    via throwaway1_2_0_2_1
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    To me this is, my goddaughter is upset from the gf's perspective. Idk if she got any level of closure. OP needs to actually provide perspective for anyone to really give any kind of judgement.
    via throwaway1_2_0_2_1
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    Complex-Staff1... OP Before he broke up with her, he talked to me about it. He also talked to me after he did it. He explained why he was doing it, she asked him to reconsider, and he told her "no." She has tried to get him to reconsider since, he has told her "no."
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    They are both about to graduate from undergrad and a number of her friends are getting engaged with plans to marry this summer. She wants the same thing. My son does not want that, so he broke up with her.
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    throwaway1_2_0_2_1 If she hadn't cared about getting engaged, would he have made the same choice?
    via throwaway1_2_0_2_1
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    Complex-Staff1601 OP Probably not. He broke up with her because she wanted something he did not want.
    via Complex-Staff1601
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    Immediate_Radio_8012 Have a word by telling him you think he's doing the right thing and you're proud of his mature decision making. How it will all be a distant memory for both him and Mary very soon and they'll both be ok.
    via Immediate_Radio_8012
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    Complex-Staff1601 OP I already did. The reason I know why he broke up with her is because he talked to me about it before he did it.
    via Complex-Staff1601

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