Woman decides to buy herself a new car and offers to gift her husband the old one, only to be criticized by him for not buying him a new car instead: ‘What a baby’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 25, 2025 9:00 AM EST

In every marriage or long-term relationship you have the one who is financially responsible, and the one who is, well, not so financially responsible. 

It doesn't necessarily mean that one is a financial mess while the other is a genius, it just means that one of them is a bit more on things when it comes to taking care of the money in the relationship.

For example, I don't know a single relationship in which both of the people in it are responsible for paying the bills. There is always the one who simply takes care of it, while the other is not even aware that bills are a thing that must be paid, they just assume it happens somehow.

If a couple wants to maintain peace in their relationship, they usually accept the roles they have been naturally assigned. The financially responsible one has to take care of money tasks, and the other has to rely on their partner whenever money is invovled.

For the couple in the story below, the balance has shifted, and it is now creating a number of marital problems…

Advertisement

  • It seems like the woman who wrote this story is the financially responsible one in the relationship. This led her to the position in which she is able to afford to buy herself a new car, while her husband still drives a car he bought 20 years ago. 

    In what she sees as an act of kindness, after she buys herself the new car, she decides to gift her husband her old one, which is quite an upgrade from his current car. 

    However, he sees this act as more selfish than anything else…

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and even the interesting update that followed. After that, check out this story of a father who was forced to meddle in his son's relationship

  • 01
    "Never look a gift horse in the mouth"
    via Yusuf Timur Çelik
  • 02

    "AITA for buying myself a new car, and giving my husband my old one?"

    Throw away account because my main identifies me and I don't need people knowing about my first world problems and financial situation.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 03
    My husband(37M) and I(35F) are at a standstill. Neither of us are yelling and mad over it, but we just fully disagree and he thinks I'm being an ahle.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 04
    My husband has been driving the same car since he was 20. It's a a very basic model with crank windows and drives like a go cart. The last time I drove it, I thought it was going to
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 05
    fall apart on the hwy. It's not that he's attached to this car, he just doesn't particularly care. I drive a 2022 hybrid sedan. I bought my car (and our
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 06
    house) with my own money. He pays 50% of our monthly expenses, excluding our kid. I pay for every child related expense (including daycare). We make about the same
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 07
    amount of money, but I came into our marriage with 0 debt, a large inheritance, and a very expensive house (it's a normal house, I just live in a place where a detached house is
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 08
    $1mil minimum). My husband is left with like 3k for personal expenses each month (including half the groceries, maybe a little more than half) but he doesn't save. He jumps
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 09
    expensive hobby to expensive hobby. I honestly don't care, it really doesn't have an impact on me normally. So the problem: I want to buy an SUV for me to drive, as my Sedan doesn't fit our 90Lb
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 10
    golden retriever with the car seat and I want to take him on hikes with our kid etc. (it feels like I'm cheating on my dog when I don't take him... I swear he smells the nature on me).
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 11
    My husband thinks I am a huge a hole for buying myself a new car and giving him the "old" one. I see it as me giving him a $30,000 car that's 20 years newer than the
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 12
    one he drives. He can sell it and buy a different car if he wants, but he can figure that out himself. Curious to hear what other people think.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 13
    *
    via pixelshot
  • 14
    EDIT: I totally thought I could get by, but English is my 3rd language and apparently personal pronouns can't be used the way I use them (my kid and our kid is the same thing to me- they are both true? Idk, just let that go unless you're a polyglot, then chirp away you deserve it.)
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 15
    And just to clarify- he doesn't pay for childcare because I don't ask him to! He would, and has offered, I decline. I send her to an expensive private daycare instead of the government run ones our actual income could afford. Just
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 16
    because he doesn't financially contribute to our kid, doesn't mean he doesn't contribute. Imagine telling stay at home mom she's a child because she doesn't financially contribute to her kids. (He's an active parent, currently feeding her breakfast
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 17
    using baby led weaning based on his research- and he's loving being able to be more involved with feeding her- he listens to audio books about parenting on his commute...)
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 18
    Delnordo So trade your car in and be done with it. He should heed the words "never look a gift horse in the mouth." What, does he want you to buy him a new car, too? What a baby.
    via Delnordo
  • 19
    Wild Ticket1413 NTA. It's your money. You can buy an SUV if you want. I think your compromise is more than fair. He still gets a relatively new car to drive.
    via Wild_Ticket1413
  • 20
    zapzangboombang Honestly, y'all need counseling. It doesnt seem like you ever figured out how to resolve the different assets.
    via zapzangboombang
  • 21
    ModeElectrical7776 OP By resolve do you mean give him half?
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 22
    zapzangboombang Nope. However, I bet he views his money as his money and your money as shared money. However, I am confident his name isn't on the house so
    via zapzangboombang
  • 23
    splitting costs there can be complicated. I know from experience it can be complicated.
    via zapzangboombang
  • 24
    ModeElectrical7776 OP we look at our paycheques as our money, and whatever I leave him in his account is his money. By his money I just mean it's his to do what he wants with, without having to talk to me first. It gives him.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 25
    enough financial freedom that he doesn't feel like I'm controlling him, but not enough for him to bankrupt us. When we first got married I tried to do a budget together and go through it each month etc, but he just has no interest.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 26
    So me organizing or finances, planning for retirement and education etc, has just always worked for us. I also just don't think it's about the money, as he could just take the money from my other car and have $30ish thousand.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 27
    zapzangboombang I can see some friction because all the money he has in the world is shared money, but you have a huge cash reserve.
    via zapzangboombang
  • 28
    ModeElectrical7776 OP If he saves any of the 3k he's left with a month, he'd have a pretty good savings...
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 29
    ӨӨ
    via Nando Martinez

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 30

    UPDATE

    UPDATE for the actual reasonable people who aren't bankrolling divorce attorneys lol So my husband came home after a walk with his mom this morning and the short of it is... his mom convinced him the other day that
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 31
    he does so much more than any husband and father, when I could easily pay someone to relieve some of his workload and don't, the least I could do is buy him the new car and keep driving mine because he deserves it. He
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 32
    should have more free time etc etc... and he just bought into it. (Which is kind of hilarious to me because I spent all yesterday watching our daughter and 2yo nephew so him and my brother could go hiking.. a 1&2 year old. I handed to me). got my a
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 33
    Anyways he went for a walk with his mom this morning, and she tried to emotionally blackmail him into giving her $1500 a month for the rest of her life so that she can retire.
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 34
    So yeah reality hit him like a truck, he has come to his senses, set a goal to save 10k so that he can upgrade the sedan to an SUV in 6 months, and has agreed he will reach out to my other sibling for help increasing his financial literacy. Now we just have the mom problem
    via ModeElectrical7776
  • 35
    DZHMMM Ur husband can afford a car on his own.... If he wants a car so bad he should just get a car note. Like im confused. U have been spoiling him and treating him like he's ur child. This is the entitlement that has resulted.
    via DZHMMM

Tags

relationship advice aita marriage drama car wife relationship-drama gift reddit story relationships husband advice couples love Reddit married money dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article