'This is our first Christmas as a real family': New stepmom insists 21-year-old stepdaughter cancel plans to visit her bio-mom so she can attend her holiday party, throws a fit when she declines

It's not always easy to blend families. Different parties might be resistant to different kinds of change, and points of view can easily clash. This is even (and sometimes especially) true when you have adult children. Odds are, they have probably missed the boat in connecting with their new step-parent in a particularly intimate way. When you're a kid, you're more adaptable to new presences in your life.

You live at home and you're subjected to the will of your parents. When you grow up, they cease to have control over you in that way, so you may not elect to spend that much time with your parent's new significant other. That doesn't mean you don't approve of them, it just means that your priorities might be different. But adults don't always understand that and can take it personally when their stepchild doesn't want to be that close to them.

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That's what happened in this story when a newly-minted stepmom crossed a boundary with her new stepchild. She failed to understand that it's probably best for the child to take the lead, and let them adapt to change at their own pace. It didn't help that it was the holidays when tensions run famously high. Read on for the story and see what you think.
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AITA for not changing my holiday plans to accommodate my dad's new wife?

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Commenters gave their opinions on if she handled the situation appropriately.

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