'She's playing the popularity contest': Father stands up to mother-in-law after she attempts to undermine him while babysitting his kids, mom gets involved, leading to a family dispute

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 27, 2025 11:00 PM EST

Every adult who wishes to become a parent likes to think that they are going to be the best parents in the world. They will use every tool they have been given, every little example their own parents set for them, and every trick in the parenting book, all to become the best possible parent ever.

At least until their in-laws get into the picture.

While your in-laws managed to parent the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with, that doesn't necessarily mean you think they were the best parents in the world. Actually, most people I've talked to are surprised their partners turned out to be these amazing people considering the parents they've got (at least, that's what crosses my mind every time I visit my in-laws). 

However, regardless of what you think of your in-laws' parenting, nothing can possibly stop them from getting involved in your kids' lives. After all, they are the grandparents. All you can do is try to set some ground rules, but as the story below shows, even that can prove to be an impossible task.

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  • The father in the story below was trying to set some ground rules with his mother-in-law after she attempted to undermine him in front of the kids. However, dear MIL did not enjoy the father's criticism, which she took very much to heart.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story. After you are done, check out this story of a woman who kicked out her husband's family from dinner.

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    Cheezburger Image 10472774656
    via Nadezhda1906

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my MIL to never undermine me in front of my children?"

    Wife was out of town last weekend for work, so my MIL volunteered to take our 12- year- triplets to a movie.
    via apietenpol
  • 03
    Before she got to our house to pick them up I asked my daughter to clean up the mess she made in the kitchen. I asked 2 more times after that, and when
    via apietenpol
  • 04
    my MIL arrived it still wasn't done. I was staring to get upset, so I asked her again in a more stern tone. She tried to argue back that she did, so I asked about the
    via apietenpol
  • 05
    kettle on the stove that still had food in it. It was at this point that my MIL started criticizing me and saying it wasn't that
    via apietenpol
  • 06
    big of a deal. When I mentioned that we were specifically working with the kids on cleaning up after themselves she dismissed me and started
    via apietenpol
  • 07
    talking about when she sees things that I don't always put away like tools and stuff. When they got back I pulled her off to the side. I
    via apietenpol
  • 08
    told her that I appreciate everything she does for us, but with all due respect please do not undermine me in front of my kids again, and that I felt
    via apietenpol
  • 09
    extremely disrespected. If she ever disagrees with something I say or do she is welcome to pull my aside and talk about it in private, but never in front of the kids.
    via apietenpol
  • 10
    Of course she left crying and my wife isn't speaking to me. AITA here? ETA - since it's been asked a couple of times, I think my
    via apietenpol
  • 11
    wife isn't talking to me because she's struggling to reconcile me making her mom cry while still being right.
    via apietenpol
  • 12
    Imchatterbox NTA. You were polite about it and she shouldn't undermine you in front of the kids.
    via Imchatterbox
  • 13
    PerfectCover1414 No. Adults do not do this. She's playing the popularity contest game between you and your children.
    via PerfectCover1414
  • 14
    Timely_Proposal_1821 NTA - you handled it very graciously imo. I would have told her right there that I wasn't asking for her opinion and if she didn't like my parenting she could go back home. I swear, I
    via Timely_Proposal_1821
  • 15
    am nice and polite most of the time, but I can't stand somebody undermining my parenting. Teaching kids how to be independent and clean after themselves is an important life skill, MIL can kick rocks.
    via Timely_Proposal_1821
  • 16
    If your wife doesn't like how you handle her mother, then she can do it herself.
    via Timely_Proposal_1821
  • 17
    Ok_Homework_7621 NTA But she's manipulative and your wife needs to grow a spine.
    via Ok_Homework_7621
  • 18
    r2384550 She left CRYING?? What in the world!
    via r2384550
  • 19
    grayblue_grrl Seems like MIL needs to stay outside on the step while waiting for the kids. NTA
    via grayblue_grrl
  • 20
    Knittingfairy09113 NTA She is playing your wife like a fiddle.
    via Knittingfairy09113
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10472774912
    via studioroman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

Tags

family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting mother in law family Reddit women parents children Father
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