Roommate's boyfriend stays over constantly, starts using woman's shower and towels against her wishes: 'The man was using my expensive eucalyptus body wash'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Mar 23, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Reaching adulthood comes with some really exciting opportunities. You finally get to shake your parent's rules, you can eat whatever you want, wear whatever you want, and most importantly, live with whoever you want. That's right, one of the most crucial decisions you will make in your adult life is choosing a roommate. If you're lucky, you'll have a good group of friends that you already know who are starting their own adult lives in the same place as you. But more than likely, you'll have to find a roommate random style. In this case, Instagram stories from friends of friends, Facebook groups, and the mythical Craigslist are going to be your best friends. 

Whether you're looking for a roommate who you want to be spending every minute with or just someone to help you pay the rent, you're going to want to choose very wisely. You truly never know a person until you live with them, and nothing is worse than coming home to someone with rancid vibes. Unfortunately, you can't always know about a person's rancid vibes until you're already living with them. Take this girl, for example, who wrote about her roommate's new boyfriend and his disrespect of their unshared spaces.

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  • 01
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  • 02

    "AITA for Refusing to Let My Roommate’s Boyfriend Use My Shower?"

    So, I (24F) share an apartment with my roommate, Sarah (25F). We generally get along fine, but she has a boyfriend, Jake (26M), who is always over. Like, at this point, I think he actually lives here more than I do.
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  • 03
    The issue? Jake refuses to shower at his own place. I don't know why. He claims his water pressure is bad, but I think he just likes my shower because we have those fancy rain showerheads. Either way, every time he stays over, he uses my bathroom instead of Sarah's.
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  • 04
    At first, I let it slide. But then I started noticing things-my shampoo running out suspiciously fast, my towels being damp when I hadn't used them, and worst of all, the man was using my expensive eucalyptus body wash. I splurge on that. He smells amazing, but at my expense.
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  • 05
    So, last week, I finally put my foot down and told Sarah, "Hey, Jake needs to use your shower from now on." She got weirdly defensive, saying he "feels more comfortable" in mine. I said, "Great, he can feel comfortable at his own apartment." She got mad and said I was being dramatic over "just a shower."
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  • 06
    Jake is now sulking, Sarah is annoyed, and I'm wondering- AITA for not wanting my roommate's boyfriend to treat my bathroom like a luxury spa?
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  • 07

    Everyone agreed that both Sarah and her boyfriend exhibited some pretty weird behavior.

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  • 08
    Jake being there all the time may be against the terms of the lease. Lock your stuff away.
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  • 09
    NTA. Seems like a power play is going on. Sarah is DEFINITELY the AH here too.
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  • 10
    I read this whole thing thinking your apartment had only one shower, in which case I'd have urged you to put away your expensive stuff and deal with it. The fact that he is not showering in his own girlfriend's shower is straight up disrespect to you. Put your foot down. NTA
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  • 11
    Jake needs to pay 1/3 rent and 1/3 utilities, and shower in the other bathroom.
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  • 12
    Get a lock for your doors. Including the bathroom. But also tell your roommate he's only allowed over 3 days a week or you will go to the landlord for an unauthorized tenant
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  • 13

    Ooh, the plot thickens.

    she sulks because methinks she is using your shower and products also. Using your towels is so sceevy, sorry but that's a reason to throw hands.
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  • 14
    No he's tripping. Your roommate is also a doormat. No way would anyone not find that offensive and disrespectful. Especially as he's using your towels and your toiletries. The least he can do is leave the shower clean and bring his own towel and toiletries with him. He's gross. Put a lock on your bedroom door and bathroom door.
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  • 15
    NTA Send roommate a link to a shower head like yours, so her boyfriend can get it to install in her shower... or better yet: HIS OWN shower. Lock your door, too. I'd ve disgusted, finding out someone else is using my towels. I don't want to clean my skin with a towel a random bloke used to wipe his balls with after using MY toiletries in MY showe4.
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  • 16

    Everyone knows a girl's shower is sacred.

    Ewww using your towels? Using your shower? Let alone all your products. Outrageous! Get locks on the doors and sit them down and make it clear he is no longer allowed in your bathroom. And you don't want him over more than 3 days a week from now unless he pays 1/3 rent.
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  • 17

    Time to break that lease!

    NTA. Sarah is being a horrible roommate. He is her guest and her boyfriend, therefore he can use her bathroom and shower. There is no reason he needs to use yours, when she has her own. It's not your job to keep him happy or comfortable. Good job for standing your ground with this!!
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boyfriend roommate drama friendship drama aita bad roommates shower thoughts reddit story reddit thread Reddit roommates
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