Woman refuses to cover vet bills for boyfriend's dog, calls her heartless for calling out his financial irresponsibility during an emergency: "You'd just let Buster suffer?"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 5, 2025 9:00 PM EST

For a few months, I was really determined to adopt a small dog. I follow a local shelter that occasionally homes chihuahuas, and I made it a habit to check out their posts and videos a few times a week. I know these little dogs have a bit of a bad rap, but firstly, I am Latin American and was thus born with a genetic soft spot for tiny, hairless dogs. Secondly, I've only ever known two chihuahuas in my life – both of which were incredibly chill. These doggos require only about half a cup to a cup of food a day, are very easy to transport, and have no hair, making them a rather low-cost breed in the long run. 

However, the real cost comes from vet bills. Even if I lucked out with the healthiest dog in the world, I would feel like a bad dog mom if I didn't pay for insurance just in case. It's not really something I can commit to at the moment, so I've moved on from the notion – unlike the irresponsible boyfriend from our story today! Scroll down for the full story. 

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  • 01

    AITA Refusing Pay My Boyfriend's Dog's Vet Bills He's Always Broke?

    "I'm not his financial safety net."
    via FamVeld

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So, I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over two years. He has a dog, Buster, who I absolutely love, but the thing is... my boyfriend is terrible with money. Like, the kind of guy who gets
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 03
    paid and immediately spends half his paycheck on games, random collectibles, eating out, and whatever new hobby he's fixated on that month. Then, by the middle of the month, he's suddenly broke and "so stressed" about bills.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10475727360
    via ImageBlend

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  • 05
    Anyway, last week, Buster got really sick and needed urgent vet care, which ended up costing a few hundred dollars. My boyfriend called me, panicking, saying he didn't have enough and asking if I could help. And yeah, I could afford it, but
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 06
    honestly, I was so frustrated because this isn't even the first time he's been in a financial crisis over something he should have planned for. I told him I love Buster, but this was his responsibility, and he should have set aside emergency savings instead of constantly blowing money on nonsense.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 07
    That's when he hit me with, "So you'd just let Buster suffer?" Like... no?? But also, why is this suddenly my problem? I suggested he ask his family or, idk,
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 08
    maybe not act like I'm an ATM, and he got all huffy and passive aggressive about it. Now he's been distant, and some of our mutual friends are saying I was heartless for not helping when I clearly had the money.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10475727616
    via FamVeld

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    I feel guilty because I do love that dog, and I get that emergencies happen, but at the same time, I'm not his financial safety net, especially when he constantly refuses to be responsible with his own money. AITA?
    via u/Kate_Johnson02

  • Even though she shouldn't be expected to cover for her boyfriend's irresponsibility, it does come off some type of way that she is choosing to teach him a lesson when he needs money for vet bills. She says that she loves the dog, but is also using him to prove a point.

  • 11
    Dittoheadforever You're NTA. He is 27 but acting like a 16 year old who is newly employed and blowing his paycheck on toys. He needs to learn to budget and save for emergencies.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 12
    mca2021 NTA. The bigger question is if you're financially compatible, which sounds like you're not. Finances are a big issue in marriages. This is a glimpse into your future with him. Sit down with him and have the discussion about budgeting.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 13
    I told my kids regularly when they were young that they put money aside for their future (retirement), their bills (including balloon payments, like property taxes, insurance etc so money is set aside for it), emergency/large expenses (sh happens, or vacations, furniture etc), then what's left over is your mad money.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 14
    My stepson had his fridge and furnace go out up north in the winter and had the money to pay for both without going into debt. He then adjusted his mad money and redirected some of it into his emergency fund to refill the coffers.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 15
    My son's wife used to live on credit card debt, paying the minimum, while my son's a saver. This has caused major issues in their marriage. She wants to move into a nicer home but doesn't change her spending. They are going to a financial planner to help them work as a team towards their goals.
    via u/Kate_Johnson02
  • 16
    AmbivalentSpiders Like this guy has a credit card that isn't already maxed out. NTA
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  • 17
    Dittoheadforever Good point. If he's as self indulgent as OP says, he has already maxed out his ability to spend future income.
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  • 18
    Neurismus NTA, but does this relationship have future? If he is like that with 27, hard to imagine him changing anytime soon...
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  • 19
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    via Dejan_Dundjerski

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  • 20
    The_Death_Flower Yeah at 27 you should know the concept of a budget. I expect that behaviour from an 18 year old with their first couple of pay checks, there's a point you're meant to realise that blowing all your money the first week is irresponsible
    via u/The_Death_Flower
  • 21
    UnhappyCryptographer NTA if you have pets you are responsible for them. We have three cats and put €60 per month aside for yearly vet visits and emergencies. That's what a responsible owner does.
    via u/UnhappyCryptographer
  • 22
    Your BF shouldn't have a dog at. He isn't financial mature. He could easily sell some of his collectibles and voilà! There's money for the vet bill. But he doesn't even think about this because his material things are more important than his dog.
    via u/UnhappyCryptographer

  • Some people treat dogs like accessories rather than like living beings; sounds like this BF is one of them.

  • 23
    k23_k23 .. "and I get that emergencies happen, Your bf seems to be a person with a lifestyle CAUSING one emergency after the other. A good way to guilt you into paying for him again and again. Why don't you brak up with Mister Emergency and find someoneone less tedious.
    via u/k23_k23
  • 24
    Shoe-aholic And once you start paying for stuff, you'll always be paying for stuff. You'll be his safety net, and he'll never have an incentive to change the spending habits.
    via u/Shoe-aholic
  • 25
    littleorangemonkeys I'm going with ESH, with him getting 90% and you getting 10%.
    via u/littleorangemonkeys
  • 26
    If you've been annoyed with this behavior for a while, the time to pick this fight isn't when his dog is having an emergency. Because you look like the AH if you have loaned him money before and choose not to this time. It looks like you don't care about his dog, not that you are holding a boundary.
    via u/littleorangemonkeys
  • 27
    TheSalamanizer Yeah I support this answer the most. Help him if you can, but also insist that it's a loan
    via u/TheSalamanizer
  • 28
    spiffsome Nope. If you give someone money for an emergency, everything becomes an emergency. He's decided he can spend his money on whatever, and she'll always bankroll the dog. She has to stop doing it, to force him to realise that the dog is his responsibility and no--one else's.
    via u/spiffsome
  • 29
    Ready-Cucumber-8922 NTA, his dog is his responsibility, he should have pet insurance or some fund to pay vet bills, that's just part of being a responsible pet owner. That being said, maybe this wasn't the best time to try to teach
    via u/Ready-Cucumber-8922
  • 30
    him this lesson. The dog is a living, breathing creature and is innocent in all this. What happened in the end? How was he able to afford the vet bills? And what would have happened if he hadn't?
    via u/Ready-Cucumber-8922
  • 31
    It sounds like he has had multiple financial emergencies and you talk about him treating you like an ATM, so this isn't the first time he's come to you for money. I get that it's frustrating but literally any
    via u/Ready-Cucumber-8922
  • 32
    other time would have been better than when his dog is sick, it makes you look bad too and he's not going to be in the best frame of mind to hear your lesson on fiscal responsibilities. He's going to resent you for this.
    via u/Ready-Cucumber-8922
  • 33
    You should probably break up, you mention that you love his dog 3 times and never once even say you like him. You don't mention trying to have a mature discussion about finances in the past before you went for the nuclear option either.
    via u/Ready-Cucumber-8922
  • 34
    Beautiful-Way-2259 NTA. All dog owners who are responsible have insurance and a way of paying any charges that do apply. Dogs can be very unpredictable and treatment costly.
    via u/Beautiful-Way-2259

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