Mom throws birthday party for 10-year-old daughter, feels guilty for lashing out at other parents after none of her friends show up: 'She cried in my arms'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 4, 2025 6:00 PM EST

One of the most heartbreaking experiences any parent can go through is watching their child be unhappy. Even worse is when you feel like you are powerless to do anything to change it. The unfortunate thing is that it is inevitable that there are going to be some times as a mom or dad when your kid goes through something unpleasant, and there is not much you can do to make it right.

One area in which this can be especially sensitive is that of friendship and relationships. Not every child connects with others easily, but sometimes the best thing you can do as a parent is support them from behind the scenes and not get directly involved. This is easy enough when things are going well, but it can be a lot more difficult when they get hurt or let down. The consequences of making anger known may not be what they want.

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  • This is something that one mom struggled with after her 10-year-old daughter faced some issues. She had always struggled with making friends but had managed to befriend a group of girls whom she then invited to her birthday party. 

    Despite RSVPing, none of her friends showed up on the day, and this understandably upset her. After her mom saw the effect that this had on her, she angrily messaged the parents of the other girls. Despite apologizing the day after, her daughter's former friends started to avoid her, and the mom felt guilty about that.

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    Cheezburger Image 10475352320
    via Cihat Hıdır

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    TIFU by getting emotional and possibly ruining my ten year old daughter's relationship with her friends after no one showed up to her birthday party.

    My daughter has never had a birthday party before, she has always struggled to make friends. She has really put herself out there and actually made friends with a group of girls and I'm very proud of her so when she asked for a birthday party this year, I was happy to oblige. Her birthday party was this past Saturday. We had decorated our place with balloons and stuff. We set up the food, snacks, and cake and the party packs that we chose together. My daughter kept straightening things up trying
    via CalligrapherDry3424
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    My daughter spent almost the whole day looking out the window waiting for her friends to show up and not one of them did, it was sad to witness. When the day came to an end, she cried in my arms sad that not even one of her friends came. It was very hard to witness, she even went to bed earlier than her bed time because she was so upset. I was really sad for her and found myself messaging the parents of the girls. I went on a rant telling them that it was really inconsiderate of them to not show
    via CalligrapherDry3424
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    Well thanks to my little blow up, the friends that my daughter worked so hard to make are now avoiding her and although my daughter says it's okay and that she will make new friends, I know that she is pretty heartbroken. I am now regretting and wondering if I could have had a much better approach. TL:DR Blew up at the parents of my daughter's friends for not showing up to her birthday party and I think I have sabotaged her friendships.
    via CalligrpaherDry3424
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    People had their sympathies with the mom and daughter.

    Eternaloptimist3p0 My son was invited to a classmate's bday party in middle school (they weren't the best of friends). It was a couple days after the last day of school. Apparently about 6-8 boys were invited to a laser tag place Dropped my son off, checked in with parents and confirmed when to pick him up. Came back 2 hours later to my son, bday boy and his mom eating cake. No one else showed. On the way home my son said he felt really bad for the kid and was really glad he went even thought he
    via Eternaloptimist3po
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    lumiranswife There was a point in time where my spouse and I had amassed a group of parent friends through volunteering so much that even if the kids weren't as connected, associated families with their kids would show up. It was birthday parties weekend after weekend in the social reciprocity, I was tired. But my kids love a good time and I told them we would always accept and commit to an invite (unless there was an actual issue) because we never knew who else might be skipping; there were a f
    via lumarinswife
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    one-eye-deer Nah, it's deserved. If the parents RSVP'd for the girls and then didn't bring them, that's r de. For all of them to now not show up makes me think that the parents are a bunch of mean girls themselves and they okay'd them all ghosting. My mom would have never allowed me to do something like this as a kid. If I rsvp'd, I'm going.
    via one-eye-deer
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    CalligrapherDry3424 OP That's what I don't get, you don't RSVP and not come. It does give off that vibe and the group was friends before my daughter joined so there's also that.
    via CalligrapherDry3424
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    Slinkycup_Pixelbuttz I think it's also really weird that every single one of them didn't show up... If it was just a few or even the majority it wouldn't seem like a thing but it almost feels planned that all of them skipped out after saying they would go... And now they're cutting her off for something her mother said? Sus
    via Slinkycup_Pixelbuttz
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    dixbietuckins Yeah. The kids got into it right before the party, maybe the daughter doesn't realize, but id imagine it was a petty 10 year old girl group drama right before. S ks for her though, that's tough, especially at that age.
    via dixbietuckins
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    ste6168 I hate to say it, but this stuff happened with my step daughter at a young age as well. After the second year of it, we just stopped having birthday parties, and instead let them choose something fun to do (roller skating, mini golf, jet ski rentals, trampoline park, etc.) then a restaurant of their choosing, and bring one or maybe two friends along with us. Kids are ride, and they learn it from their parents. Sounds like you are teaching your daughter respect and how to stand up for her
    via ste6168
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    notyounotmenothim Same for us w our daughter. Wait til they all have social media and will not only not show up, but post pictures of all of them together elsewhere.
    via notmenotyounothim
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    Ydoihavtofuckinlogin As sad as it is, it is ok for her to see that you stand up for her, and that she too should stand up for herself. Because what happened to her was at best, very unkind.
    via Ydoihavetofknlogin
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    CalligrapherDry3424 OP That is true. It was just hard seeing her go through all that, from super excited to completely heartbroken. As a parent it just does something to you.
    via CalligrapherDry3424
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    Passiveresistance If the parents actually rsvped and then every single one no showed, your daughter doesn't need friends like that. I don't imagine any adult that inconsiderate and thoughtless is raising exemplary children. Your daughter will remember you stuck up for her. Unfortunately these little shitheads and their parents have also given her the lifelong memory of a miserable birthday. Poor kid.
    via Passiveresistance
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    yumyum_cat is wrong with those girls parents. They should be ashamed and they should be forcing their children to apologize.
    via yumyum_cat
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    shoulda-known-better A a parent of two girls I would be absolutely mortified if my daughter pulled something like this..... And it's sad the other girls moms didn't set them straight..... Imo you did the same thing I would have because it's horrible behavior... I can understand daughter still being disappointed in her friends for not coming and then avoiding her.... It will be tough to go through now but in the end it's the best thing she makes real friends
    via shoulda-known-better
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    Some-Body-Else I don't think you've sabotaged her friendships. It was awful of those parents to not inform you that they weren't gonna make it if they said that they would. Usually these kind of conversations happen over a group chat in my experience, and parents act like mature adults. Any decent parent would tell their child to be kind to others or at the very least be honest and communicate. The only thing I'd have done differently is not blocked them to begin with nor apologised. I'm not sur
    via Some-Body-Else
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    notquitesolid You didn't do anything wrong. There was no way this wasn't going to be awkward, even if there was an honest mistake. The parents are 100% to blame for this and they should be the ones apologizing, not you. As a former awkward kid, if you can try to get her involved in something group related outside of school. It'll give her a chance to make friends outside of school.
    via notquitesolid
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    JoefromOhio You did nothing wrong, that's heartbreaking and you have the right to be mama bear as long as your lashing out wasn't too severe. If there's one you're on better terms with call them and ask what happened/apologize. People have hearts and they should understand your position and hopefully give you an explanation. If they don't then it's sad but you saved your daughter the trauma of being betrayed by these people at some later point in her life.
    via JoefromOhio
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    Elyay You did not FU. Those girls were not her friends.
    via Elyay
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    neuroundergrad NTA, and honestly I wish you didn't apologize to the other parents. You were so right, and I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this.
    via neuroundergrad
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    Sweetenedanxiety I don't think i would want her hanging out with those type of girls anyways. They weren't her friends. Probably the type to only be friendly when they need something. Maybe join some parent groups on Facebook or a group/mom app, lots of moms with daughters in similar aituations who would love to meet you both. Have to put yourself out there.
    via Sweetenedanxiety
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    Mmmwafflerunoff Did you send out invitations with a clear time and place and did you receive RSVP's from said girls that did not show up? If so, that is truly absolutely heartbreaking! If not, then it is a failure to act on all adult parties. You have every right to your anger and hurt, but you can't expect others to know things if you don't let them know well in advance either.
    via Mmmwafflerunoff
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    CalligrapherDry3424 OP I sent out the invitations on time and they were pretty clear. They definitely RSVP'd and then didn't show. They didn't cancel either, only one didn't RSVP before so I didn't include them on the rant.
    via CalligrapherDry3424

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