‘We were made to live in an unfinished house he promised hed fix up for us. Then came the lording that we better respect him or hed take the house away’: Rich in-laws “gift” a house just to constantly threaten to take it away while exploiting for repairs

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 4, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Generosity is a virtue, no doubt, but a virtue that can be weaponized with impressive skill. Human beings have evolved from simple gift exchanges to complex emotional warfare, where the present itself is merely a Trojan horse packed with obligation, guilt, and the faint aroma of unspoken judgment. A gift, it seems, is never just a gift; it's a down payment on a lifetime of servitude.


The best practitioners of this particular dark art understand that the true value of a present lies not in its intrinsic worth, but in the leverage it provides. It's not about bringing joy; it's about establishing a power dynamic. Consider the host who gives you an extravagant birthday present, only to casually remind you every year after just how hard they worked on it, ensuring your eternal gratitude. A kindness never forgotten is a burden indefinitely carried.

And who wields this power with more finesse than in-laws? 

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  • After all, they’re practically professionals at mixing benevolence with a subtle undercurrent of control as they carefully position the help in such a way that you become permanently dependent on them.

    In this spirit, a couple of saint in-laws generously gifted a house. What started as a gracious gesture quickly spiraled into a nightmare of manipulation and threats.
     

  • "My inlaws gifted us a house and constantly threaten to take it away"

    "He still hasn't fixed anything two years later"
    via Hexnohope

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My inlaws are rather wealthy and when there was a surprise pregnancy my MIL bought me and my partner a house across the street from them as a gift. They repeatedly said id pay no rent and the house would be ours.
    via Hexnohope
  • Trouble is FIL is a narcissist who demands everyone NEEDS to rely on him or he throws tantrums and has hit my MIL in the past for disobeying him.
    via Hexnohope
  • Given the housing market and my dire need for a home i took the offer to find out at the signing hed be putting his name on the house along with my MIL and me and my fiance were excluded entirely.
    via Hexnohope

  • Welcome home

    Cheezburger Image 10475802624
    via Robbie Gorre

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Almost immediately we were made to live in a ramshackle unfinished house he promised hed fix up for us because hes a carpenter/contractor. He still hasnt two years later.
    via Hexnohope
  • Then came the lording that we better respect him or hed take the house away.
    via Hexnohope
  • And now just today MIL says things are "very bad behind closed doors" and i need to pay rent. Trouble is they let me start and get involved with BSN
    via Hexnohope

  • Family business

    Cheezburger Image 10475794944
    via Kaboompics.com

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • schooling before they told me this. Like they waited until they knew i couldnt pay so id have to snivel and beg for mercy from FIL.
    via Hexnohope
  • No renters contract was ever signed. Ive been in the house two years. I pay for literally everything (including repairs) except for taxes which im about to anyway.
    via Hexnohope
  • I live in NJ of the USA can my FIL kick my family out? And would it take longer than two years? If i can ignore them for two years/ have the eviction take that long i can graduate and afford my own place.
    via Hexnohope
  • Being america i assume its perfectly legal to give someone something make them dependent on you and then pull it out from under you because you dont put your recycling out
    via Hexnohope
  • consistently enough (THATS HIS REASON FOR THE RENT). I hate to sound like a baby but i need to know if im wasting my time here since its only a matter of time till he gets bored or angry and sells the house out from under us.
    via Hexnohope
  • Massive_Squirrel They didn't give you anything. The sooner you realize that, the better.
    via Massive_Squirrel
  • JesusOnaBlueBike They didn't gift you a house. They've only given you tenancy in a house they own.
    via JesusOnaBlueBike
  • No_Muffin6110 Stop fixing up the house! It's not yours.....
    via No_Muffin6110
  • Love Bug 54 For your peace of mind you'd be better off finding an apartment until you can get your own place with no strings attached. Of course there will be pushback from FIL once he realizes he's
    via LoveBug54
  • gonna have a hard time getting what he wants for a fixer-upper .
    via LoveBug54
  • NotASmartDude0 You and your fiance aren't on the deed. So it's not your house. I repeat the house does not belong to you. Hopefully the repairs haven't been to expensive.
    via NotASmartDude0
  • rerolledblunt If he decides to evict you then you can't rely on it being a two year process. It could be within as little as 60-90 days. Do you or your spouse work full time or even part time right now?
    via rerolledblunt
  • You need to be prepared for the worst because you have no ownership of the house and no right to keep living there if he has you evicted. through the courts. It's time to start saving every extra penny to get you and your family into a stable home.
    via rerolledblunt
  • Lola Bijou Where is your partner in all of this?
    via LolaBijou
  • Looking_for-ans Don't pay taxes or anything else on the house you do not own.
    via Looking_for-ans
  • concretism You are a tenant without a lease. In NJ that means you are a month to month tenant that can be evicted with a 30 day notice.
    via concretism
  • Do not confuse how this situation has been talked about and your rights as a tenant and resident. You don't have anything written, a previous lease that went month to month, or proof of rent payment.
    via concretism
  • Your questions are really about - how long you can drag this out, which is up to the ability of your lawyer. So, to the heart of your question, is it cheaper to find an equally run-down home than it is to hire a lawyer to miraculously drag 30 days into 2 years?
    via concretism

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