College student leaves two siblings and cousin to fend for themselves in their shared home after they repeatedly leave home in complete disarray: ‘I was done’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 10, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

In a shared space, it's important that there's an understanding between all who live there to keep the space livable, tidy, and clean. This doesn't only pertain to bad roommates, but to family members, partners, and the like. Regardless of relation, a shared space is a shared space, and it should be treated as such. Think of this as the "golden rule" for housing: Treat a living space the way you'd want to be treated… respectfully.

In this next story, a college student shares her late mother's home with her older sister, younger sister, and cousin. The college student has always made a point to keep the home spotless and in order because that's what you do when you live in a place, not only with other people, but in general. Living in squalor if you're able to clean it up is unacceptable, and that's what happens when the three others are without this college student's cleaning abilities. So, instead of continuously picking up after her siblings and cousin, she refuses to come visit unless absolutely necessary. Scroll to read.

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  • Of course, there are exceptions to cleaning. The college student's older sister, for example, is a nursing student with a “crazy” schedule. It's a bit difficult to stay on top of things if you're busy learning how to save lives. However, this doesn't mean that the three of them as a collective can't do the dishes and keep tabs on food growing mold in the refrigerator. Rightfully so, this college student decides to stay in her school boarding house instead of visiting home. The three others were not happy about that!

  • "So I just... stopped OLIO NUOVO going home."
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  • "AITA for not going home during our semester break and letting my family deal with the mess they made?"

    So, for some context: I'm in my second year of college and transferred to a school 2-3 hours away from home, so I stay in a boarding house. After my mom passed away a year ago, I took
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  • over a lot of household responsibilities-cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping- because, well, someone had to. My older sister is a nursing. student with a crazy schedule,
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  • my younger sister isn't very independent, and my cousin (who moved in at my dad's request) helps with cooking, but that's about it.
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  • At the start of the semester, before I left for school, I made sure the house was spotless. The laundry was done, the fridge was stocked with fruits, veggies, and
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  • meal-prepped food, and everything was in order. I figured they'd at least try to maintain it. But.... no.
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  • The first weekend I came back, the house was a disaster. Shoes scattered everywhere, dishes piling up, trash overflowing, unfinished takeout rotting in the fridge, and my meal-prepped food? Completely ignored. I was
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  • frustrated but cleaned it up anyway, thinking they were still adjusting. I reminded them- nicely-to at least clean up after themselves not because I was a clean freak but because I want
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  • them to live in a clean and healthy environment as it was one of my regrets when my mom di d from health complications and I deeply blamed myself. The next weekend? Same mess. And the weekend after that.
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  • At that point, I was done. Home was supposed to be a place where I could rest, not somewhere I had to play housekeeper after a long week. So I just... stopped going home. I made excuses-school projects, group hangouts, whatever it took.
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  • Then semester break came. It was also a big religious holiday where we honor the de d, and family would be coming over. Normally, I'd be the one running around, making sure everything
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  • was clean and prepared. But this time? I told them I had papers to finish and wouldn't be coming home on time. In reality, I knew that if I wasn't there, they would have to clean the house themselves.
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  • Subject Text Message RCS • qwe r ty u S Х d C f g h
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  • And sure enough, while I was away, I checked on our group chat and saw them absolutely panicking. They didn't know where things went, struggled to buy all the food they needed,
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  • complained about not having space to prepare food because the table was too cluttered, and even ran out of clean plates. Honestly? I felt satisfied knowing they were struggling.
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  • I came home the day after the holiday to spend time with them and visit my mom's grave. As expected, they hit me with, "Oh wow, how convenient that you couldn't come home earlier." But the house? It was cleaner than usual. Not perfect, but better.
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  • I know they'll probably slip back into old habits, but at least now they've felt what it's like to handle things without me. Maybe next time they'll think twice before taking it all for granted. So, AITA for ditching them and making them clean up their own mess?
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  • calacma... YWBTA if you kept cleaning up after them. They're grown-ups and in the end it's clear that they can act like grown-ups. NTA.
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  • AnyBioMedGeek NTA. You are not the maid. You are not home to create any of that mess so why should they expect you to spend your only free time cleaning up after them?
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  • DoubleCroffl3 I mean, if they can't handle the heat, they shouldn't be in the kitchen or living room or anywhere near your clean house! You're basically running an experiment on how long it takes for chaos to ensue without your magical cleaning powers.
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  • tessiacutesy NTA. You didn't ditch them-you gave them the opportunity to act like functioning adults. Funny how they suddenly figured it out when they had no choice. Actions > lectures, and this was a well- deserved wake-up call..
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  • One_Diver1751 NTA The people that protest the most about you developing and enforcing boundaries for the ones that benefited from you not having them
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family drama cleaning aita drama AITAH reddit story family feud entitled people karma entitled family sister reddit thread Reddit cousins college karma entitled people
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