30-year-old refuses to trade vacation days with 35-year-old coworker for her family trip: 'Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean my time off is any less valuable'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Every employee knows how precious their limited number of vacation days are. Unless you are one of those lucky individuals with unlimited PTO (although even that is not exactly what it's cracked up to be), chances are you have to go through the same process every year of being highly strategic with how you are going to be spending that time.

The worst part about PTO is that the vast majority of the days you have to take off are for other people's special events: weddings, bachelor/bachelorette parties, birthdays, etc. If you're like me, you reserve a precious few of your days for yourself. It could be a staycation or a trip of your own, as long as you're doing something solely for your own amusement with that time. The last thing you want to do with those few free days is to give them up to your coworker!

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  • Here, we have an entitled 35-year-old employee who genuinely thought she could convince her younger coworker to donate their PTO days to her so she could go on a family trip during her kids' vacation. They clearly were not allowed to take their days at the same time, but the younger coworker already got their requested days approved and had booked flights and hotels for their trip. If this lady really needed that week, she should have gotten on those travel details sooner.

    The younger employee's other coworkers felt that the older woman deserved more respect, but we can't help but agree that this employee does not owe their coworker anything, regardless of how many kids she has.

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    I (30M) put in my vacation request months ago for a specific week. I made plans, booked flights, and was looking forward to it. Everything was approved by our manager with no issues.
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    Last week, my coworker "Lisa" (35F) found out that her kids' school break falls during the same week. She came to me and asked if I'd be willing to swap my vacation for a different time so
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    she could take her kids on a trip. I told her I was sorry, but I had already made non-refundable bookings and didn't want to change my plans.
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    She got frustrated and said, "It must be nice to have so much flexibility," implying that since I don't have kids, my plans aren't as important. I told her that just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my time off is any less valuable.
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    Now she's giving me the cold shoulder at work, and another coworker mentioned that I "could've been more understanding." But I don't think
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    it's fair to expect me to give up my plans just because she has kids. AITAH?
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    meanderingwand... . 2h ago She's had the kids' schedule since the beginning of the school year and ample time to plan. The fact that she didn't is on her. NTA.
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    rnyRespectfully • 2h ago NTA. She's delusional. Even if you show her receipts and show her how much it would cost you to reschedule she's still gonna dislike you. Just make sure to document everything in case she starts creating a hostile work environment
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    LostinLies1 • 2h ago What flexibility? You booked your holiday and it is non refundable. If anything, this is completely non flexible.
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    Herdnerfer 2h ago NTA, schools put out the calendar at the beginning of the school year. She's had months to take off at that time, not your fault she didn't bother until now.
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    Constant-Ad9390 · 2h ago You can be understanding if she is willing to pay your out of pocket costs. No, I thought not. Seriously school book holidays a year in advance her poor planing is not an emergency on your part. NTA (she is defo!)
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    SeaworthinessLo... . 2h ago Say to her "sure no problem, you refund me the costs of the flights, accommodation etc"?
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    jesusalejandro18 • 1h ago NTA. Your vacation plans are just as important as hers, kids or no kids. You booked everything in advance, and it's not your fault her kids' break overlaps with your
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    time off. It's unfair for her to expect you to rearrange your life because she has kids. You were polite but firm, and that's totally reasonable. She's being petty by giving you the cold
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    shoulder, and your coworker's comment is out of line. Don't feel guilty for prioritizing your plans.
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    Well-Done22 2h ago NTA. Lisa was responsible for knowing when her kids. have off school and request vacation days. She probably wasn't paying any attention but made all the promises to her kids, then found herself
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    rushing last minute to pull it off. I'd tell her if she wants to refund you for the entire trip since you'd lose that money, she's welcome to the week. Otherwise, she can ☐ off.
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terrible coworkers workplace-stories entitled parents work stories toxic-workplace AITAH job work coworkers parenting company toxic-work-environment
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