Argumentative roommate sparks too many screaming matches, so other roommate takes away all of his shared-space items: ‘The living room looked like Whoville after the Grinch came.’

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  • "Roommate screams at me then expects to use my things in the shared space."

    I split an apartment for affordability with an acquaintance/friend who turned out to be a textbook (covert/vulnerable) narcissistic nepo baby with untreated borderline personality traits. After an especially egregious blow up where he yelled at me and followed me out of the house into the street
  • screaming insults at me to try to get me to engage in his drama, I decided I was done trying to maintain peace until the apartment contract ended in two months.
  • I began moving out my stuff from the kitchen, bathroom, and living room. My giant beanbag he loved to relax on? Gave it away. My nightstand by the couch he had stuff in? Set his stuff on the ground and gave it away.
  • My decorations and plants that made the living room cozy? Gave 'em to a friend or moved to my room. My modem/router for Internet? Oops must've stopped. working. The living room looked like Whoville after the Grinch came.
  • How about the toilet paper and paper towels I restocked cuz it wasn't worth fighting over before? Hidden in my room. My plates and bowls he benefitted from? Stored at a friend's. The toaster oven? Weird, it just disappeared. The table he
  • used to sit at to eat breakfast? Stashed at a friend's. The cleaning I'd do to keep the shared space from being nasty? Lol, I don't care anymore. His dishes piling up in the sink? Oh well. Not my circus.
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  • I just used the grey rock method, went as no-contact as feasible, and avoided being home when possible until the lease ended and could move. He obviously
  • was upset by my removal of my things, but mostly it was just the silent treatment interspersed with annoying texts. I wish there was a more satisfying conclusion, but I never really spoke to him again.
  • FigglyNewton What was his reaction, that's what we all want to know!! :) Did he try to make it up, did he speak to you at all, did he get angry?
  • CultNearly illed Me OP I know it bothered him but he didn't want it to show. I think he thought giving me the silent treatment for awhile would bother me, but it's actually exactly what I wanted, to never see or hear from him again. I ignored any whiny messages from him later. A mutual friend asked me on his behalf what happened to the living room bean bag chair and I just said a friend wanted it. I'm sure his enabling flying monkey parents got an earful about what an awful, mean
  • roommate I was ignoring him and clearing out the shared areas of my things. The housemate learned I wasn't going to give him his narcissistic supply by reacting to him so he kinda gave up trying to get a rise out of me. He texted to offer to buy my outdoor hammock and hammock stand he liked with his rich daddy's money when I finally could move, but I ignored his texts and gave the hammock to a friend.
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  • I wasn't spending time outside my private room after his big blow up anymore so it didn't really affect me to remove all my things from the living room, kitchen, and bathroom, and to stop trying to clean things. I'm low maintenance and have lived in worse conditions so NBD.
  • Old-Pepper8611 I lived with a narcissistic or bpd housemate when I was in school. It suuuuuuucked. She put on a good act at first, until the cracks in her personality started to show. Yelling over tiny things, never truly apologizing, talking sh and spreading gossip about everyone she knew, including me, trying to isolate me from our mutual friends, lying to my long- distance boyfriend when he called our landline saying I was dating other men (I wasn't). I was a wreck when I moved out.
  • Most of the shared furniture and kitchen tools were mine. I took EVERYTHING that was mine, down to the shower curtain and rings, even though my next place had an enclosed shower. We each owned half of the washer and dryer. I sold my share to the landlords who lived next door and had an agreement to use them. Housemate hated that they did laundry at our place, but the agreement predated her, I made sure it continued after I left.
  • She got weird about switching utilities into her name, so I paid through the end of the month and had them shut off.

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