Woman $45k in debt with credit cards under her husband’s name, he files for divorce after realizing the betrayal, her family turns on him: “You’re abandoning her in her time of need”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, welcome back. We all know that money makes the world go round. People who have money love to say that money can't buy happiness, but it can buy the basics to someone fulfilling their wants and needs, which counts for something. Anyone who's ever been in a financial jam knows the importance of money, and how when you're left with nothing and you're depleted, that all you really need to get back on your feet is money. So your boyfriend left you, or you were fired from your job. Of course these things are so incredibly painful and inconvenient, but they don't disturb your basic ability to survive and function in the world. Having a savings is one of the most important things a person can have. Without it, you could end up seriously homeless and desperate. 

In the story below, money has become a desperate problem for this couple. The man has gotten his wife out of a seriously large amount of debt, and assumed everything is okay now. To his surprise, he sees that she continues to financially betray him, and is spending more than what they earn. He finds out that she's put them both back in debt again, but this time is for the last time. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for divorcing my wife after she went into massive debt again?

    DEBT
    via DNY59 from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (34M) met my wife (32F) 5 years ago. She was $60K in debt from credit cards, personal loans, etc. A while ago after we got serious, I helped her get a consolidation loan from consumer credit card relief. I actually paid it all off on her behalf through them. Monthly payments, the whole deal.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 03
    Things were great for about 2 years. We got married, bought a house, life was good.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 04
    Then I started noticing packages arriving daily. She got secretive about the mail. Bills were being hidden. When I finally confronted her, turns out she'd racked up another $45K in debt across 7 different cards.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 05
    I was devastated. We tried counseling (financial and marriage), but she kept spending behind my back. She even opened a card in MY name.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10481859328
    via Jeremy Wong from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This must be so painful for the husband. It's never easy to go through a divorce, or to feel betrayed by the one you love. Financial betrayal is real, and it's still a betrayal and a disrespect. It changes the way you see your partner in your eyes, it changes everything about your relationship. 

  • 07
    I filed for divorce last month. Now her family is blowing up my phone saying I'm an a hole for abandoning her "when she needs help most."
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 08
    AITAH for walking away? I feel like I tried everything and she betrayed my trust repeatedly.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 09
    • chocopuffxo ⚫ 2h ago no her family can go f themselves they can help pay the debt if they really care
    via u/chocopuffxo
  • 10
    Silent Question0284 • 2h ago NTA, you're not a bank, and financial stresses especially in this day and age are tough enough without having a lying, deceitful wife adding too it.
    via u/Silent Question0284
  • 11
    Fridaybird 1985 • 2h ago. Run don't walk. I worked with a guy that went through this and it took him. years to get out from under the debt.
    via u/Fridaybird 1985
  • 12
    Fearless-Speech-1... • 2h ago Are your finances separate? Don't stop the divorce. Her family can continue enabling her without you in that mess
    via u/Fearless-Speech-1131
  • 13
    ChanmanAlt_41 • 2h ago Dave Ramsey talks about this. It's called financial infidelity and it's a very serious betrayal. Her problem/addiction comes out as shopping. She's got deep rooted issues and is willing to wreck you
    via u/ChanmanAlt_41
  • 14
    financially instead of facing it. It's really sad, but if she won't change or get help I'm not sure what you can do.
    via u/ChanmanAlt_41
  • 15
    ToastetteEgg • 2h ago She has a problem and is dragging you down with her. You will never have financial stability while married to her. Divorce, split the debt, and never marry again unless you have 100% clarity on her financial intelligence as well as a pre-nup. Edit: NTA.
    via u/ToastetteEgg
  • 16
    New-Junket5892 • 2h ago NTA. You've been helping her from Day One. Unless she helps herself and you decide not to be her ATM anymore, this marriage gets worse for you.
    via u/New-Junket5892
  • 17
    Definition of divorce Eng Divorce The le nt body.
    via Kameleon007 from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Report the identity theft to the police now, freeze and lock your credit, separate and move your money from any accounts she has access to and talk to a lawyer now.
    via u/New-Junket5892
  • 19
    She broke any trust in opening a card in your name without your knowledge.
    via u/New-Junket5892
  • 20
    EmZee2022 • 2h ago Not only does she have a compulsion to overspend, she committed identity theft. She is a CRIMINAL. NTA.
    via u/EmZee2022
  • 21
    Depending on where you live, you may be held responsible for some of those debts, especially the one in your name (unless you report her to the police).
    via u/EmZee2022
  • 22
    Known Witness3268 • 2h ago NTA, but this is a form of addiction. She needs her own therapy-this is about more than your relationship. It's about her mental health.
    via u/Known Witness3268
  • 23
    And yes: her family can support her during this time. jf you do not want to. Thanks ok. It's your life too and this is an exhausting path. I wish spending addictions were as recognized as y l addictions. or
    via u/Known Witness3268

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