17-year-old brings her helicopter parents and 11-year-old sister to outing with friends: 'We didn’t feel comfortable having her parents come with us'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 20, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It doesn't matter how much you like your family, especially your parents, things are just different around them, especially when it comes to hanging out with friends. This is true at any stage in life but especially when you're in your teens, having parents around when you're trying to carve out your individuality and enjoy your life really just puts a wet blanket on the whole thing.

Some parents are far too strict, and though most of them have hearts that are coming from the right place, their anxiety is actively hurting their kids and their social lives... Sure they might be "safe" (until the isolation and stunted development drives them off the deep end.) But what's the use of having a life if that life hasn't been lived?

At some point, we need to learn from our mistakes, and we need to make mistakes so we have mistakes to learn from, keeping your kids wrapped in bubble wrap in a padded room does very little for preparing them for the actualities of the real world. Of course, the fact that these parents are acting like this because their daughter "Cassie" has lied to them so often that even her friends think it's a problem says a lot and makes her being excluded more of a consequence than anything else.

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  • 01

    "AITA for not telling my friend (17F) I wasn’t buying her a ticket because we didn’t want her parents and 11-year-old sister to come to the ballet with us (17F)?"

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    via Simon Maage

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    So, I wanted to go watch a ballet with a friend of mine who's really into it. We go to school together and have a group of six friends, so naturally, we asked everyone if they wanted to come along. They all said no-except for one of them (let's call her Cassie). Now, here's the thing about Cassie: her parents are super strict and controlling because she's lied to them a few times in the past, and they found out. Because of that, they barely let her go
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  • 03
    anywhere. For example, our whole group can't even hang out at a shopping mall because they won't let her go, so we always end up at someone's house instead. We've talked about it a few times when she's not around, and honestly, we're all kind of tired of always hanging out in the same places. But no one really says anything because they don't like conflict-I'm usually the only one to speak up when something bothers me.
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  • 04
    Anyway, Cassie said she wanted to go to the ballet with us and asked me to buy tickets for the three of us, promising to pay me back. I agreed and said I'd do it as soon as I got home since tickets were selling out fast. About an hour before classes ended for the day, she mentioned that her parents and sister wanted to come along. I had a feeling it was because they wanted to keep an eye on her and if they didn't come, they'd never let her go. I said it was ok but then I thought about it and ask
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  • 05
    So, we called Cassie over to where we were sitting and tried to explain that we didn't feel comfortable having her parents come with us. We really wanted to figure out a way for her to still come along, but as soon as we brought it up, she got really hostile. She just turned away and started talking to someone else, totally ignoring us.
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  • 06
    My friend and I decided that since I was the one buying the tickets, I'd just get two and not tell her anything until she asked I'm seeing Cassie on Monday and i'm sure she'll get really hysterical when she finds out. Update: since many of you were curious about Cassie's parents. After reading your comments, I thought more about it, and honestly, I think their reasons for being strict are pretty legit. Without going into too much detail, Cassie has lied to them a lot―
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  • 07
    we're talking hundreds of times about where she's been and who she was with, even back when she was just 13. So it's not so much about them being controlling; it's more about trust. In fact, they're much more lenient with their younger daughter (she's 11) because she's always honest with them.
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  • 08
    As for the safety concerns some of you mentioned, we actually live in a pretty safe area. My parents even offered to give us a ride to the theater so we wouldn't have to take the bus, and the theater itself is on the most crowded street around. So it wasn't really about security either.
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  • 09
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: The action that I took that could be judged is not telling Cassie that I wasn't buying her a ticket and letting her believe she was coming. It might make me an a hole because I wasn't being honest and she might be hurt when she finds out
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  • 10

    "Now, here’s the thing about Cassie: her parents are super strict and controlling because she’s lied to them a few times in the past, and they found out."

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    via Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    NotThisAgain234 NTA but own your decision and let her know that if she wants to go she needs to get tickets for herself and her family because your event was for a girls night and clearly it wasn't working out. You could add that you hope you will be able to do something together soon, if you're not too tired of dealing with her issues yet. It's ok if you are. What her parents are doing is weird, r de and inappropriate and it's not your problem to deal with. I do have some sympathy for her but l
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  • 12
    Snackinpenguin So she's putting the blame for her current situation on you. S ks but she gets to own what she caused. Because she lied (multiple times), her parents don't believe her, and their trust is broken in her. That's on her. Since she's a year away from being considered an adult in many places, she can practice talking it out like the rest of us. She gets to have a super awkward conversation with them on what it takes to rebuilt their trust on her, so she can go unsupervised.
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  • 13
    She's in her feels and doesn't see what's obvious. An invite for her, isn't an invite for 3 more. On your dime. Yeah no. NTA.
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  • 14
    dalealace 2d ago • If she needed her whole family there they should have never put you, a minor, in the position of having to buy tickets for everyone else whether they were gonna pay you back or not. If she and her parents want to go they can buy their own tickets. Problem solved.
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  • 15
    RyanStoppable NTA Cassie asking to have her parents and sister come along is not an AH move, but not accepting the group's decision is. The stuff between Cassie and her parents, whether fair or not, really isn't your problem.
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