65-year-old loud coworker insults teammates with her “jokes”, blames them for being sensitive: ‘I’ve seen her be completely clueless, baffled when people are hurt’

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  • "Horrified at her lack of awareness"

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  • I (44 F) work mostly with one specific coworker, Liz, (65 F) in a customer service position. We mostly get along and work well together, we share stories about our lives and know each other pretty well.
  • Liz can have strong opinions about topics and can be very loud and boisterous. She's the type of person to insult and degrade her husband but call it playful banter. "It's just what you do when you've been married a long time"
  • Haha Just Kidding

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  • We've had a lot of coworkers come and go over the years and sometimes they will come in as customers.
  • We used to work with a young gentleman, really sweet and down to earth. The kind of guy you are happy to see and remember fondly. We see him occasionally and always say hello. Let's call him Jack.
  • Jack came in yesterday, I said hello and told Liz, who had her back turned to say hello as well. She told me that she'd seen him earlier and that he looked like he'd been playing in the mud. I
  • don't know why she said that, he wasn't wearing dirty clothes, he didn't look filthy. I'm guessing she was talking about his complexion which might have been a little
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  • splotchy. No matter the reason I found it an incredibly r de thing to say and completely unnecessary.
  • Jack started to walk away and then turned back to tell Liz that whenever he comes in she makes hurtful comments about his appearance that make him feel bad and it makes him not want to
  • come in anymore. Her response was to laugh in his face and ask if he was joking "You're joking right? You can't be serious right?”
  • Here he was looking crestfallen and hurt and Liz was laughing in his face totally oblivious to the fact that her r de words weren't funny like she intended them to
  • be. She said I'm sorry but it was far from a heartfelt apology. Liz just couldn't comprehend that what she said wasn't funny to Jack.
  • He left and she was dumbfounded and reiterated that he looked like he'd had been playing in the mud. "I guess he's lost his humor" Wow! Just wow! I
  • reminded her that last time she saw him she called him fat. "I didn't call him fat, I just asked where's the skinny Jack I used to know"
  • I couldn't even find a response. How does someone think that's a joke and not an insult. How does a grown woman think that's funny? How do you not see that
  • telling someone they aren't skinny anymore is akin to calling them fat and saying they look like they've been playing in the mud is essentially calling them dirty.
  • Jack by the way is by no means a large guy, just a little heavier with age like most of us out there.
  • I feel terrible for Jack and I'm proud of him for standing up for himself and I can't fathom how on earth Liz thought her comments were jokes. She says
  • she feels bad she hurt his feelings and didn't mean to, but in the same breath is saying how he's changed and doesn't have humor. That she was just joking around. I tried to remind her that
  • commenting on people's weight, and their appearance in general is a bad idea. I also reminded her that she doesn't like it when her grandson constantly tells her that she needs wrinkle cream.
  • I've seen her be completely clueless to things I found obvious before, but this by far takes the cake.
  • TLDR: Boomer coworker essentially calls someone fat and dirty and is baffled when their feelings are hurt.
  • niko_bellic91 I don't think she's joking. She intends to be mean and plays it off as jokes. I've encountered her type many times. Just a angry old woman who's displeased with her lot in life so she takes it out on everyone else.
  • Wakemeup3000 Your coworker isn't joking. She's making out of line comments and when someone is offended the cover is 'oh I was joking. What's wrong with you? Can't take a joke?' Don't try to remind her of anything. She already knows this stuff. Instead look at her like she's nuts while saying 'I can't
  • believe you would think that's ok to say? Its insulting and unprofessional.' If she starts to play it off as a joke pull the 'This is a business and you aren't a comic.' Say it loud enough for anyone around to hear. Do it every time.

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