Boyfriend inherits $800,000 from late uncle, refuses to help long-time girlfriend with $900 car repair: 'After years of supporting him emotionally and financially [...] he left me hanging'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

When you inherit a lot of money, there might be some strings attached. It might come because of the demise of a loved one, meaning that buckets of grief come along with buckets of money. It might mean that people from all over your life come out of the woodwork asking for help with their issues. It might also mean being forced to define new relationships with those you love, especially those you share your finances with. 

Generosity is always a good idea. Nobody likes a hoarder, especially if they specifically neglect the people they love. If you come into a huge chunk of money, odds are you're excited about sharing it with your loved ones (that is, if you have any sense of character at all). You're not a completely selfish person who thinks their stuff only belongs to them. You're always thinking about others… ideally. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10486468352
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Not everyone is like that, though, and sometimes you only find that out when their circumstances change. Money has a way of revealing your true colors, and that can be shocking to those around you. That's what happened in this story, where a man's new financial reality caused a huge rift in his relationship. Read on for the story and see what you think.
     

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    AITAH for refusing to keep paying the bills now that my boyfriend is loaded?

    I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (31M) for six years. We've built a life together, sharing everything, supporting each other through tough times, and always splitting expenses down the middle. I work as a high school teacher making $45k a year, while he used to work as a mechanic earning around $50k. We weren't rolling in cash, but we made it work as a team.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    When things got tough, I always had his back. During the pan mic, when his hours were cut, I covered most of the bills without hesitation because I believed we were working toward a shared future. I even gave him a lot of money for this project of reselling these things, which completely failed and almost drove us to bankruptcy.. I never made him feel guilty, because that's what you do when you love someone.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    A few months ago, everything changed. His estranged uncle passed away and left him. $800,000 in cash and a fully paid vacation home in Colorado. I was genuinely thrilled for him. I thought this could be a turning point for both of us. I imagined a future where we could finally breathe a little easier, maybe even start planning for a family or at least escape our cramped apartment.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    But instead of bringing us closer, the money created a huge divide. The moment the inheritance hit his account, he told me outright that it was his money and that I wasn't entitled to any of it. I didn't expect a handout, but I thought we'd share the burden a little more fairly, especially since I'd carried us when he couldn't.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    Instead, he quit his job, decided he was "retired," and now spends his days gaming and treating himself to luxuries like expensive meal kits and new gadgets, while I'm still working long hours and paying half the bills. He even jokes that he's "living the dream," while I'm exhausted every day trying to make ends meet.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    The final straw came last week when my car broke down. The repair bill was $900... more than I could afford without seriously cutting back. I swallowed my pride and asked if he could help, thinking after all we'd been through, it wouldn't be a big deal. He laughed and said, "You've always been independent you got this."
    via u/PerroInternista
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    I was hurt. After years of supporting him emotionally and financially, the second he had the means to make life easier for both of us, he left me hanging. So, I told him if his money is his, then the bills are his too. I'm done paying my share.
    via u/PerroInternista
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    Now he's calling me selfish and accusing me of "using him." But honestly? I'm tired of feeling like a roommate while he lives like a king. So, AITAH for refusing to keep paying half the bills when he's sitting on a fortune and I'm barely keeping my head above water?
    via u/PerroInternista
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    Commenters were quick to point out his hypocrisy.

    Radiant_Chipmunk... . 7h ago He retired with 800k and is 29, not 92, good luck with that. Sorry for you and happy, he showed his true self early.
    via u/Radiant_Chipmunk3962
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    Status-Pattern7539 . 6h ago "You're right, I've always been independent and I've independently tracked how much money you owe me from when you weren't working and I had to cover all the expenses." Hand him an invoice and walk away from the relationship. He will be broke within a few years and back to being a sponge.
    via u/Status-Pattern7539
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    Dazzling-Kitchen19... • 7h ago Leave him and let him be alone with his money. $800,000 is a lot but if he suffers a catastrophic accident/illness, it can easily be wiped out.
    via u/Dazzling-Kitchen1922
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    RWAdvice 6h ago 800k isn't enough to retire on. If he's careful and lives frugally he can make it last about 15 years at the current rate of inflation. You're describing someone who is definitely not being careful. You're also describing someone who doesn't respect you and has no interest in an equal partnership.
    via u/RWAdvice
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    If you read about lottery winners, even the ones who win millions are usually broke and in debt within 2-3 years. You need to ask yourself if you want to be his safety net once he burns through this money. NTAH
    via u/RWAdvice
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    DisposableMan_ • 7h ago NTA obviously. I don't even know why you would come here when he's obviously the a h le. After six years and you helping him out he should've returned the favor.
    via u/DisposableMan_
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    I'm also sorry to say this but your relationship is over. At least you're only 29 and can move on. Also be happy you didn't have kids with him. You dodged a bullet and you should be grateful for that.
    via u/DisposableMan_
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    Cheezburger Image 10486468608
    via Alice Donovan Rouse

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    alargewithcheese • 6h ago NTA and you know what - now you have learned how he really is. Things like money. often reveal the character of people and there are plenty who would not be so selfish and smug in a similar situation. You're not married and you have no kids, you're
    via u/alargewithcheese
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    still young. I'm not saying you have to leave, but think about what kind of person he is showing himself to be. That money won't last long the way he's spending it and as soon as he runs out, you can bet that he will turn to you for support. He doesn't value your efforts, takes your
    via u/alargewithcheese
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    previous support for granted and he is fine watching you bust your a while he is having the time of his life. Doesn't sound like a partnership at all if you're the only one thinking about both and he only thinks about himself.
    via u/alargewithcheese
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    • Whitestaunton 6h ago Tell him he by his own logic owes you for every extra penny you covered for him during CO ID. If he is not prepared to help you when you are struggling you want the money you spent on him. when he was struggling because if you hadn't spent it you would have savings now.
    via u/Whitestaunton
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    CrabbiestAsp · 6h ago NTA. If my husband treated me the way boyfriend is treating you, I would divorce him. I'm not a gold digger but we are a team, a loss is a loss for both of us and a win is a win for both of us. You now see that your boyfriend is not a team player.
    via u/CrabbiestAsp
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    I got a reasonable sum of money after my dad di da few years ago. We bought a house, we bought some luxuries, we did things together. I didn't just do what I wanted and tell hubby to F off.
    via u/CrabbiestAsp
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    Legitimate_War442 · 6h ago Didn't you say he's a mechanic? And he won't help fix your car? With money or his skills? Man what a pos! Start looking for your new apartment now girlie and don't even tell him! He want to treat you like a roommate then tat means you only need
    via u/Legitimate_War442
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    to give him 30 days notice. that you plan to move.... I probably wouldn't even do that and i sure wouldnt be paying half the bills until his co id share was paid up! He sounds like the definition of an a hole!
    via u/Legitimate_War442
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    Imp... 6h ago • Edited 3h ago . The real issue here is that In another two years, so that money to be gone and he will be alone and needing to find another job. Then he will really be miserable.
    via u/Impotent-Dingo
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    He should have invested half in the market/401ks and bought a house, kept working like nothing else happened. Then retire 10 to 15 years and he happy
    via u/Impotent-Dingo
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    Fine_Cap402 • 7h ago If you aren't at least one step out the door already you're being derpy. You got a real glimpse of the a h le you're with.
    via u/Fine_Cap402
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    sardinenbubi • 7h ago The both of you dont sound like a great team tbf. He will be f ed when those 800k run out and you wont want to stay to see that happen.
    via u/sardinenbubi
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    mooncadence 6h ago If this is true, I'm going to assume that you posted this because you're struggling to leave. It's very obvious that you're NTA. However, I do understand that it's difficult when you've been with him for 6 years, especially when you've emotionally and financially invested so much of yourself into him.
    via u/mooncadence
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    He does not feel indebted to you. If he doesn't have the necessary qualities to feel empathy now, he never will. That fact will not change. about him.
    via u/mooncadence
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    Take a deep breath and let it all go, you will have to take this loss but for the greater good of yourself. This situation is basically sunken fallacy cost, and the sooner you can pull out, the easier it is to recover. You will suffer for a bit but I promise life will get easier without him. You will likely meet someone who appreciates you better after him as well!
    via u/mooncadence

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long term relationship relationship advice inheritance aita relationship relationship status money problems relationship-drama reddit story relationships story reddit thread Reddit money healthy relationship
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