19-year-old woman blocks fellow student from getting job: '[She] always seems to one-up me'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 1, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Attitude makes all the difference in life. The quicker you learn this, the easier your life will become. In the workplace, you can quickly become an invaluable team member just because you have a good attitude about your work. Even the best worker in the world can ruin their chances in the workplace by having a bad outlook on their role. After all, most of us want to work with positive people. Still, there will always be people with flaws, like that coworker who can't stop bragging. It's not great for morale when one person is always telling everyone else how great they are! 

This person mentions that she has a fellow student who was up for a job at the same place. But due to these perceived flaws, this person encouraged her boss not to hire her. This caused some commenters to tell this person to reevaluate her attitude, while others agreed that putting this woman in charge wouldn't be the brightest idea. 

Next, read about some of the most shocking cars that have ever rolled into a mechanic's shop, like one who was stunned that a customer had "put 3-4 CASES of oil in the motor." 

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    Cheezburger Image 10488417792
    via Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for blocking someone getting a job because she’s 'better than me'?"

    I (19F) am a co-lead of a research lab for software. I'm very content in life when it comes to education, career, and friends, but this colleague (19F) always seems to one-up me and makes me feel awful. At times, it feels almost deliberate.
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    Since we have similar majors, we have similar classes. In every one of them, she does great work, and would talk about how she spends hours perfecting and studying, and would make me and others feel bad about our own work in an almost roundabout way. When she was absent, a classmate of ours confided in us in tears, that she felt inferior in work every time she would talk about her accomplishments. Everyone talked about how they always felt really bad when she talked about her accomplishments, an
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Our lab director asked me and my co-lead about her, as she was interested in joining our lab. I felt uneasy, but I warned her that she might bring team morale down. She trusted my word, and denied her a position despite her being a strong applicant. EDIT: Post was a bit vague, so I'll add some examples of what made me and my classmates feel this way.
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    • One of our classmates successfully managed to get a time to pitch his business idea to the entire university, to which she overshadowed his accomplishment with her own start-up, alluding that he'd fail and that his work wasn't up to par with hers.
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    When another classmate was getting praised for a design idea in her group, she told others to go with her idea instead because her grade was higher than the other girls. Laughed at someone who was failing design because she thought it was absurd someone would fail an art class, then "offered help" and ghosted him.
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    When my group was trauma- bonding over hard calc exams, she told us that she got 100% on that calc's final and that she was personally congratulated by the professor. (EDIT: the term is actually hardship bonding - I messed up the terminology. Thanks for your corrections!) • "Accidentally" spilled paint all over my design layouts after the professor used my work as an example to improve a section of hers. A lot more.
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    Cheezburger Image 10488419840
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    political_bot Info: Is she constantly bragging whenever someone brings up their own accomplishments? Because that's annoying as h and not someone you want to work with. UsualAd1535 OP. Yes. Someone mentioned that they and their colleagues were going to a pitch to sell their start-up, and amidst everyone congratulating them, she chimed in and said "If you ever need help, I've already made a start up! People fail all them time." and it left a very bad taste with me.
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    Suitable_Molasses_1 8 So with that, I'm gonna say NTA. You telling the manager that you genuinely believe she would demoralize the team due to the evidence of her past behaviors isn't a behavior, it's you doing what you think is best for the team.
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    A lot of commenters commended this person for preserving the dignity of her team by keeping this woman away

    date-ready NTA - As a manager, I have to look at the total impact of a person on a team, not just their own contribution. A high performer who degrades team morale is a recipe for a huge headache. Overall productivity decrease because team morale leads to lower engagement and less communication. That person's personal contribution is completely negated by the negative impact they have on the team. And they can be hard to coach because they know they're the most competent at their core job role,
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    It's like having a super star basketball player who never passes the ball. Sure you'll get some wins, but you destroy the team in the process.
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    UsualAd1535 OP. This is what I had in mind when talking to my director, but since I'm new to "leading", I didn't know if it was my feelings clouding my judgement. Thank you for your insight.
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    oneblackened Given the info provided in other comments, I'm going with NTA. She's a braggart and a know-it-all. I know this because I was like that too, and it took getting truly humbled to snap me out of it. It's a truly di ish form of behavior especially when it involves tearing others down.
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    Plus to be honest, in the real world being a good team player and a good coworker matters a lot more than individual output, within reason. I'll take the person who isn't as good but I enjoy interacting with every single time over the skills-wise stronger candidate who is just insufferable to be around.
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    Aggravating-Pain9249 NTA You gave an opinion. You didn't think she would work well in a team. You have experienced haw she has worked with your classmates. UsualAd1535 OP Will do. Thanks for your insight!
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    fuzzybunny216 Lab director asked your opinion. You shared your opinion. NTA.
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    Anxiousmangos With the specific examples you've given in the comments, NTA. She's being annoying, arrogant, and outright dismissive of others' accomplishments. Yes, this would apply if a man were making these kinds of comments as well. I think you should edit your post to include your examples. Without them, the post is a bit vague, and I can see how other commenters may be interpreting this as insecurity or jealousy.
    via u/Anxiousmangos
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    erie85 Absolutely NTA though I think your title is misleading. You didn't block her because she is better than you, you blocked her because you had prior experience indicating she is difficult to work with, not a team player, not a fit for the kind of culture you want in the team.
    via u/erie85
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    sarabelle2023 Question: are her comments and bragging even true? From the examples I've seen I haven't seen one where you would have concrete prove (that you've said you have) I. Do you know for a fact she has a successful startup? Or that she made 100% on that really hard test? Cause honestly to me it sounds like someone who is jealous of others being more successful then those around her and will do anything to sabotage and make others second guess everything they do to make her look better.
    via u/sarabelle2023
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    NTA. You and others have talked about how she makes them feel and it's not positive. All you told your manager is that it would effect employee moral. Your manager has seen her work and it apparently isn't good enough to out weigh the employee moral problem.
    via u/sarabelle2023
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    UsualAd1535 OP. Hmm. I haven't actually considered if she was lying about her expertise - I never really questioned why she was applying to my lab if she was already running a business, or how she even knew she had the highest grade. Though her calc professor's email is real, that's about the only tangible evidence I've seen. I try not to stress myself out on others like her, honestly.
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    k_eleos I'm going to say NTA because you did simply just state the truth (from your recounting of the scenario) to your employer. However, you're mindset towards the entire situation needs some work. 10 Reply Share UsualAd1535 OP. I see, thank you for your insight. I'm not sure how to improve my mindset, but if you can, I'd like some tips.
    via u/UsualAd1535

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