Family expects 30-year-old and fiancé to sleep in living room with toddler nephew for 2 weeks during family vacation, gets upset when they cut trip to 4 days: 'The nearest Airbnb [...] is $2000'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 5, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

As you get older, one of the things that changes the most dramatically is one's need for a comfortable bed. When you're a kid you can sleep anywhere you happen to lay your head. It doesn't matter if it's a room full of people with the lights on, if you're tired, you'll conk out. I've fallen asleep on floors with no blankets, and in rooms full of other kids. And you can get up the next morning and it doesn't phase you. You can continue on as your spry self, bounding with energy. 

At a certain point, though, you stop being able to do that. You start becoming dependent on your Tempur-Pedic mattress and your thermometer set to 67 degrees. The slightest change in environment will wake you up, and it will ruin your next day completely. Forget about having fun on vacation, you'll be too tired and cranky to enjoy it unless you've had a good night's sleep.

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  • 01
    T
    via Unsplash+ (Frank Flores)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what the man in this story was concerned about when his family was planning a trip and failed to account for the fact that he wasn't a kid anymore. And when he didn't feel like sharing a terrible sleep situation with his fiancé and a toddler that wasn't his, his family couldn't quite understand it. Read on for the details.

  • 02

    AITA for 'spoiling' a family trip because I'm unwilling to sleep on a blow up mattress for 2 weeks?

    Where do I even begin? My brother, sister in law and 18 month old niece live out of the country so its a big deal for them to finally come for a visit and rare that we all get to be together. My parents and SO live on the west coast and I live on the east coast.
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 03
    Anyway were are all planning on meeting for 2 weeks at my grandpa's (RIP) old lake house that we grew up visiting. Its a super tiny lodge maybe 1000sqft MAX so surprriiissee theres only 2 bedrooms. Being the youngest I have been automatically delegated to the living room. Sleeping in there with all the cousins was fine when I
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 04
    was 14 but I am nearly 30 now and that pull out couch is 20 years older than me. Keep in mind that my fiance is coming AND meeting the family for the first time. I think she deserves to be comfortable and have some sense of privacy in a new environment. I have now mentioned
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 05
    to everyone that I won't be sleeping there several times, which has been seemingly ignored and unsupported. As the youngest sibling I am not new to getting last pick but it off that this is extended into me adulthood and being pushed onto my fiance.
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 06
    Making it increasingly complicated is that the nearest airbnb (option 1) is a 25 minute drive and $2000usd for 5 nights. And the only RV to rent (option 2) within a 2 hour pickup is also close to $2000usd. All the nearby motels are booked up. The fact that we might not have wanted to sleep in the living room for 2 weeks was never really considered by anyone else.
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 07
    My SO and I having to front this additional cost is hurtful enough let alone the rest of the family not caring or even acknowledging that we just want to have a room/decent bed. The best they have done to help resolve is help us get a tent and blow mattress for outside.
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 08
    I have decided that I will go by myself and sleep in the living room for ~4 nights as that is the max amount of bad sleep I think I can handle. This solution apparently is "ruining the trip for everyone" and making it all about me, am I the a hole? EDIT: the toddler is also sleeping in the living room because the 2nd bedroom has no extra space
    via u/Ill_Remove_9909
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10489776128
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10

    Commenters assured him that they would have done the same thing.

    Swedishpunsch . 13h ago EDIT: the toddler is also sleeping in the living room This edit is very important. Brother and SIL have effectively arranged that OP and his GF would be woken up by the child when she gets up in the morning, and would probably end up watching her while her parents' had private time.
    via u/Swedishpunsch
  • 11
    This was likely plotted carefully by SIL and brother, OP. You've been had. If you do decide to go for 4 days, OP, don't become the morning nanny. Whenever the baby wakes you up, put her into her parents' room, tell them that she's awake, and perhaps leave the cabin for awhile. NTA
    via u/Swedishpunsch
  • 12
    SL8Rgirl 13h ago NTA. If the toddler is sleeping in the living room, so should their parents.
    via u/SL8Rgirl
  • 13
    rsherman247 • 14h ago NTA I wouldn't even go, it sounds miserable. If it's not that big of a deal for you to sleep on the couch, why doesn't someone else offer to switch their bedroom for your couch?
    via u/rsherman247
  • 14
    If you really wanted to make it work, afw.com has a few sleeper sofas that you could deliver to the cabin? $600 bucks for a sleeper sofa might make things better.
    via u/rsherman247
  • 15
    sun_and_stars8 13h ago If the couple with the baby can't sleep with baby in the bedroom so baby has to sleep in living room it seems to make more sense that the whole family set up in the space that can accommodate them. Why should you be auto selected to the public sleeping space you're sharing with someone else's baby? NTA
    via u/sun_and_stars8
  • 16
    BossMaleficent558 · 12h ago NTA, and honestly? I wouldn't go at all. "I'm sorry, folks, but I won't be going. I've tried to tell you that my fiancée will be with me, and we are not comfortable sleeping on a pull-out couch or an air mattress for two weeks. This will be her first time meeting all of you, and I think
    via u/BossMaleficent558
  • 17
    it's highly disrespectful to expect her to endure this with little to no privacy. So regretfully, we will not be present. I am not 'ruining the trip'. I am taking the best possible solution considering the comfort of my fiancée among people she hasn't yet met."
    via u/BossMaleficent558
  • 18
    AlannaAdvice 14h ago • NTA. Why can't you rotate so you're not the only one going sleep deprived?! It's the only fair thing. If your family doesn't agree, don't go. Dude, definitely don't go if they refuse to compromise
    via u/AlannaAdvice
  • 19
    • UteLawyer 14h ago NTA. 2 weeks is way too long. The only solution your family is offering is for you to shut-up and just accept this miserable situation.
    via u/UteLawyer
  • 20
    wots... • • 12h ago Edited 12h ago NTA. The family has outgrown the lake house. It's nice and all for those who still get their choice of bed but it's super selfish of them to expect everyone to cope with bunking up in totally unsuitable conditions.
    via u/wotsname123
  • 21
    That's also really unwelcoming to your fiancé and they need to wake up and see that. I wouldn't go at all.
    via u/wotsname123
  • 22
    • drezdogge 13h ago You are expected to Essentially be the night nurse for a toddler
    via u/drezdogge
  • 23
    Suitable-Park184 • 14h ago . NTA. You looked into other options pretty thoroughly. 4 nights is a good compromise.
    via u/Suitable-Park184
  • 24
    verminiusrex • 14h ago NTA. You aren't obligated to suffer discomfort for 2 weeks because of someone else's tantrum. Anyone saying it "ruins the whole vacation" is either being over dramatic or places way too much emotional investment in your being there for 14 days.
    via u/verminiusrex
  • 25
    I'd cut the whole visit short too. That many people in that little space for 2 weeks sound like a cruel experiment. Anyone complaining about you only being there for 4 days can give their opinion on if you not showing at all is better.
    via u/verminiusrex
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    Cheezburger Image 10489772544
    via Unsplash+ (Polina Kuzovkova)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 27
    • yellowfin88 13h ago NTA, people will tend to treat you the way they did when they had the most power over you.
    via u/yellowfin88
  • 28
    Lacroix24601 12h ago • NTA. I wouldn't attend this shizz show at all. Good god.
    via u/Lacroix24601
  • 29
    nolechica 12h ago . NTA, I wouldn't even sleep in the living room 4 nights with a toddler.
    via u/nolechica
  • 30
    • majesticjewnicorn 13h ago NTA at all. Your family are cheap AHs for not choosing accommodation based on everyone's needs, and for expecting the same person to always receive the bad deal purely based on the order of birth- even as children, it was unfair on you to have to always be the one at a disadvantage.
    via u/majesticjewnicorn
  • 31
    Your partner is new to the family, and deserves privacy to be able to decompress and have time just the both of you, and it's also ridiculous that your sibling won't have their own kid in a room with you, and expects you and a partner they have never met to carry out childcare duties at night time, and expose their kid to people they barely even know.
    via u/majesticjewnicorn
  • 32
    You have a right to your boundaries, particularly if you are spending time and money to have a family trip together. Either your parents need to find a more suitable location for your trip (whereby there are private bedrooms for all involved), or they need to invest money into
    via u/majesticjewnicorn
  • 33
    extending the current property to adapt to the growing generations and therefore build more bedrooms (and possibly even more bathrooms) on the property. It's a family heirloom, so to speak, and if the family keep using it then they need it to be appropriate for everyone's enjoyment.
    via u/majesticjewnicorn
  • 34
    LotsofCatsFI 12h ago • NTA - the 4 nights sounds like a reasonable compromise, but tell the parents to keep their toddler in their room. Toddlers are small, there's no way a toddler can't fit.
    via u/LotsofCatsFI
  • 35
    Ilemgeren 12h ago Nta, the parents sleep where their kids sleep, why would they get a room without their kid? Makes no sense to me?
    via u/Ilemgeren
  • 36
    Ok-Air-6616 12h ago • NTA. That's a terrible vacation idea. Your compromise is fine. I get why they want to visit the lake house for nostalgic reasons. But the house is barely fit for 4 adults let alone 6 adults and one toddler.
    via u/Ok-Air-6616
  • 37
    If you cave and do the full two weeks with your fiancée in a tent/living room, you will be expected to do this vacation forever. Trust me. I have lived this. It's better to disabuse them of the notion now.
    via u/Ok-Air-6616
  • 38
    I am also intrigued by this 18 month old who is apparently going to sleep in the living room of a house she's never been in, in a new country. Quite an exceptional toddler I'd say. You're probably going to end up bunking with your brother in the living room while your SIL and niece sleep in the bedroom.
    via u/Ok-Air-6616

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