Parents track 24-year-old daughter's location behind her back using her phone, she finds out and removes their access, they retaliate in response: ‘They want to control me’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 9, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Many parents believe that parenthood grants them access to their kids' private lives, even without proper permission. They fully expect their kids to be okay with everything their parents might drop on them, and they often forget that those kids are real people too. Being a parent doesn't mean you need to know about everything that is going on in your kids' lives, especially as they get older and more independent. Boundaries should always be set, both for the kids' and the parents' sake.

For example, parents often want to know where their kids are at all times, and up until a certain age, that makes sense. You need to know where they are for their own safety. But at a certain age, 18 the latest, demanding to know where they are at all times becomes a violation of privacy. Even it they are still your kids, they need space to breathe, and they don't need their parents breathing down their necks as they do so.

That is what led the 24-year-old daughter in the story below to take actions against her parents.

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  • This young woman had her parents track her location through her phone since she was 12 years old. While she was a teen, it didn't bother her, and it even made sense that her parents had her location in case of an emergency.

    However, she's an adult now, and when she discovered her parents randomly go on the app to see where she is, and even judge her for it, she decided it's time to remove their access. 

    They were not happy when that happened.

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    via Kampus Production

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for removing all phone tracking from my parents who keep using it to see my location for non emergencies?"

    Here's the situation. I (24f) am married and live in a different state than my parents. I've had iPhones "find my friends" app since I had a phone at 12
    via Diz_Savvy
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    years old that my parents set up. When I got married, my husband found it strange that my parents could see my location once we moved
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    out but I just figured they would want it on for safety. Come two years later... my brother (21) who still lives with my parents gives me
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    a heads up that my parents were judging my actions based on my location. I figured it would be a good time to remove that app anyways and
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    thus, deleted their ability to see my location. This blew up into a whole situation where my parents are now saying
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    that it was providing them comfort and safety to know where I was and it was just a 'mishap' and bad day for them. Additionally, my dad
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    decided to retaliate and remove my access from all streaming services he paid for and threatened to remove my brother from the wifi for tattling as well.
    via Diz_Savvy
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    AITA for removing them from seeing my location? My husband has never heard of parents seeing their kids location once they've moved out but my
    via Diz_Savvy
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    parents seem to think it's the end of the world. Just wanted to get other people's thoughts. Thanks!
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    EDIT: Thank you all for the advice and thoughts! I originally posted as I've heard of other families sharing location as adults
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    so I felt like the odd one out for not wanting this however you guys have helped me realize this is NOT normal. Additionally I want to make mention that I am
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    completely fine paying for my own streaming services (and already pay for the ones that don't allow sharing on my own.) This is the ONLY thing my
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    parents had been providing financially. I brought it up as a point of their reaction to help provide context of the situation.
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    via Evan Mahmud Shuvo

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    BanterPhobic NTA. Even when you were under the impression that the tracking feature would only be used for strictly safety-related reasons, you had every right to stop
    via BanterPhobic
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    using it because you're an adult with a right to make your own choices. Once it became clear that your parents were using the app to just kind of judge your life,
    via BanterPhobic
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    any remaining reason you may have had to keep it switched on went out of the window. Keep it as it is and don't look. back.
    via BanterPhobic
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    owls_and_cardinals NTA. You are an adult and your parents are using this information inappropriately. This is a perfect natural consequence for them to face.
    via owls_and_cardinals
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    If you get retaliatory responses, well that s. ''s but again see 'you're an adult'. Start paying for your own services. If your parents are going to be this transactional and demand
    via owls_and_cardinals
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    inappropriate access to you by holding things like paying for streaming services over your head, it's pretty unhealthy, but it's their prerogative and you should be independent in this way by now anyway, seeing that you are married and live independently.
    via owls_and_cardinals
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    Ok-Position7403 NTA and your father's retaliations prove that it's not just a safety/comfort thing for them but a control thing.
    via Ok-Position7403
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    WhiteKnightPrimal NTA. You saw this as a safety feature, your parents saw it as a way to spy on you and judge you. They don't need this access, they just want it. If you
    via WhiteKnightPrimal
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    want to share your location with someone for safety reasons, do so with your husband. The reaction to removing their access actually proves this isn't about your safety or even their
    via WhiteKnightPrimal
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    peace of mind. They jumped straight to cutting off your access to streaming services and your brother's access to WiFi. This is a control thing - do it my way or we punish you.
    via WhiteKnightPrimal
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    I think paying for your own streaming services is a cheap price to pay to have full control and no judgment. You're an adult, married and living completely independently in a different state. You should be paying for your own streaming services anyway, to be honest.
    via WhiteKnightPrimal
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    Tranqup NTA. Sounds like your parents still want to control you - a full grown married adult. Paying for your own streaming services is worth it to cut that cord.
    via Tranqup

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