27-year-old daughter takes in retired mom, allowing her to live in her room, only for entitled mom to criticise her about how ‘messy’ she is: ‘I feel small and unappreciated’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 8, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Many young adults move back in with their parents during their 20s, at least for a little while. Some do it because they want to save money, while others simply because they want to feel secure and carefree like they did when they were kids. Either way, you hear of many young adults who are happily living in their childhood bedroom, playing roommates with their parents.

Other young adults would tell you they can never see themselves moving back with their parents again. Something about them being granted freedom and a chance for independence is irreplaceable, no matter the cost. They may love their parents, but they outgrew the four walls they grew up in, and that is completely valid. 

How do you think these young adults would react if they somehow had to combine these two experiences–living with their parents, while also living alone in their own space? Just like the 27-year-old woman in the story below, who somehow found herself welcoming her retired mom to her home and letting her stay there for almost a year.

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  • After you read this story, you will probably agree that sharing a space with your parents, in a place that is not your parents' home, is not a fun experience. Especially if your mom is anything like the mom here.

    Keep scrolling to read the full tale, and let us know what you think in the comments below.

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    Cheezburger Image 10490949120
    via AustinArtist

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "I canceled my mom’s surprise farewell dinner because she called me messy and arrogant, and I still feel awful about it."

    Hi Reddit, English isn't my first language, but I need to get this off my chest. My mom (59F) and I (27F) have been "living together" for the past 10 months. I
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    say "living together" because I'm only really home 2-3 days a week-l stay at work during the week or with my boyfriend.
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    She moved with me to Europe from Latin America. It was a hard adjustment, but she's active and managed to build a small community here. She's
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    retired and brought some savings to live and travel. I've been covering rent and bills since she moved in. I'm lucky to have a good job and wanted to help her.
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    We don't have a great relationship. I felt free for the first time when I moved out at 20, but I still try to support her and show up.
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    She's been staying in my room (I have roommates) while we worked through some long paperwork processes. She's going back
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    to our home country soon, and I planned a surprise Apericena (small dinner party) with family and friends to say goodbye.
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    I told her we should go shopping so she wouldn't suspect anything. I was getting ready, and yeah-l get messy when choosing an outfit. Clothes everywhere, makeup stuff
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    out. I eventually chose something, did my hair and makeup, and suggested we leave early to take photos in the park (flowers are blooming, it's finally spring!).
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    That's when she suddenly said we couldn't go because I needed to clean my mess. I told her I'd clean when we got back because I didn't want to miss the daylight.
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    Cheezburger Image 10490949376
    via PR Image Factory

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    She said: "No. Every time you say that, you don't do it. You're arrogant and disrespectful. I can't talk to you." I said I'd clean right then because I really wanted to
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    go (and the surprise party!). But she kept calling me arrogant and stuck-up- maybe because I was dressed nicely? It felt like an emotional slap. I started
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    crying. It brought back painful memories of how she treated me growing up. I felt small and unappreciated. I went to the bathroom and called my boyfriend and
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    cousin because I was so upset. I eventually went back to her and said: "You don't get to talk to me like that. I never speak to you that way. That 'stuck-up' daughter of yours planned
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    something really nice for you, and now you're making me feel ashamed when I've already spent so much time and money.” She looked at me and said: "I'm not going."
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    That was it. I saw red. I canceled everything. Fifteen minutes later she came back and said, "Let's go." But I was emotionally drained. I told her, "No. It's canceled," and left to see my boyfriend.
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    It's been a day. We're not speaking. I've gotten a lot of mixed reactions. And even though she really hurt me, I still feel terrible. I planned something special
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    to celebrate her, and it turned into this awful memory. And even worse-I don't think she understands how much it affected me.
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    I don't know if I overreacted. I just know I feel sad, heavy, and tired. I really wanted this to be a good moment for us. Thanks for reading.
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    Flat Fennel_1517 You did not overreact, your mom was an AH. Its ok to put boundaries. Your mom was disrespectful, maybe its time you stop catering to her.
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    bearfootbear2002 You didn't cancel. She said she's not going, and that was the consequence
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    OodlesofCanoodles You canceled something bc she told you to. I think it's OK to mourn a relationship even while the person is alive if they aren't. going to treat you well
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    celtictortoise Your mother was just plain mean. Go live your life and be happy. You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Your mother should be ashamed of herself.
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  • 26
    justamemeguy She knows and she doesn't care. "I'm not going" is malicious and intended to hurt. You did nothing wrong
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  • 27
    Cats4Friends Your mom played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Good for you for refusing to play.
    via Cats4Friends
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    DaisySam3130 Your mother thinks that she is still in control of the household. New adult boundaries need to be put in place or you both need your own living arrangements - not together.
    via DaisySam3130

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family drama entitled parents kids mother living together reddit story parenting family daughter Reddit mom women parents children entitled people Father
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