Employee refuses to split referral bonus with entitled friend after they land them an opportunity for a promotional role, only to find out the company doesn't offer internal candidacy bonuses: ‘She called me "greedy"’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 12, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Rule #1 in the workplace: Don't mix business with pleasure, or vice versa. If you do, you're in for an entitled treat where friendships may be lost and career advancements stripped from your realm of possibilities. Sounds pretty grim, right?

Well, that's the reality of careerhood when you surround yourself with people who refuse to act in your best interest, even if you've done everything you could to be a good person to them. Not everybody deserves that kind of special treatment, it seems.

The employee in this next story manages to land their good friend, who works at the same company, a chance to interview for a promotional role through a referral. This employee puts in hours of work to ensure their friend is as ready as possible for whatever their interviewer might throw their way but soon realizes that their friend doesn't deserve this effort. Why? They expect the employee to split the referral bonus with them because of all of the "work" they put in. The best part? The friend risks their relationship over a bonus that doesn't exist. Scroll to read.

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  • Let's clear the air: The employee's friend is completely in the wrong. The employee goes out of their way to not only snag them an interview but actively preps her for the process and goes so far as to bend the rules when he stats aren't a perfect fit for the role. The fact that their friend is asking for more is beyond me. What do you think? Would you ask to split the (nonexistent) cash equally? 

  • "I sent her many of my interview prep materials, answered all of her questions, and helped her bypass the machine screening round..."
    via Ahmet Kurt For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Am I unreasonable for not splitting my referral bonus with my friend?"

    Hi reddit, it's my first time posting, but I've read a few of these posts. I'm hoping for your perspectives on this situation. AITA for not wanting to split the referral bonus with my friend?
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • I have been friends with Zoe (fake name for obvious reasons) for 1.5 years. She has been a great friend to me, and I
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • genuinely really value her friendship. We work at the same place, and I recently referred her to a position that I currently hold.
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • In addition to referring her, I sent her many of my interview prep materials, answered all of her questions, and helped her bypass
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • the machine screening round (she didn't meet the GPA requirement, but I contacted the recruiter to pull her through).
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • She is now asking to split the referral bonus if she gets the position due to her "putting so much work in" during the
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • interview process and "splitting the bonus being the norm where she's from". AITA for not wanting to split the referral bonus with her, given her reasoning?
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • Cheezburger Image 10492317952
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • UPDATE: sorry i dont know how these work so I just edited the post- I reached out to HR just to purely ask what kind of referral bonus would be given IF my referral got
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  • the job. I made sure to keep everything as objective and anonymous as possible because I dont want to skew her chances.
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  • They told me because she was an internal candidate, she doesn't even qualify for me to earn the referral bonus as they only reward you if you get an
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  • external/new candidate into the company. I didnt even know that! I never even thought about the referral bonus because I gave her a referral out of purely wanting her to have a great chance at the role.
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • I messaged her this and shes now doubling back and wants to talk about our friendship. I can't help but now think she called me 'greedy' and a 'friend'
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  • because she wanted the money. I rarely have these kinds of conversations with friends and it's making me really anxious because of all this stirred up conflict.
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  • I'll update after we have our in person conversation tmw. Thanks reddit, you've been so helpful and your comments have given me validity and comfort.
    via Still_Sorbet2189
  • Mindless_Gap8026 I have never heard of splitting a referral before. She thinks she needs to get a cut of the referral because of all the hard work she's put in for prepping for the interviews. You are trying to help her to get a better paying job and position. That is her reward. You might need to reconsider this friendship.
    via Mindless_Gap8026
  • CatMom8787 "Tell you what. I'll split the referral bonus with you when you agree to split your paycheck with me. It's only fair, I put in all the work to get you hired."
    via CatMom8787
  • OverRice2524 She got a job - that is her reward. You were kind enough to refer her, the referral bonus is for you. Don't refer her for anything else, ever again.
    via OverRice2524
  • Aylauria I would be wondering if I had made a mistake referring this woman. Her entitlement is unreal. OP practically handed her the job on a silver platter. But that's not enough for her? Don't help her anymore. She doesn't deserve it.
    via Aylauria

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