Mom and mother-in-law try to hijack their kids romantic pre-wedding getaway by inviting themselves, bride draws the line: 'I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Apr 13, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's one thing to have an overbearing mom, but marrying into a family with an equally overbearing mother-in-law? That's a double whammy. One bride-to-be found herself in this unfortunate situation when she and her fiancé planned a romantic pre-wedding escape to Cabo. Thanks to some travel perks and points, they scored a luxury villa for next to nothing so they thought it would a perfect, stress-free getaway before their big day.

But when both of their moms caught wind of the vacation, they made it clear they wanted to join. While the couple loves their moms and spends plenty of time with them, this trip was meant to be a chance to unwind, reconnect, and maybe even skinny dip without parental supervision. Still, guilt crept in. Should they let their moms tag along and turn the trip into a group retreat, or hold their boundaries and prioritize time together as a couple? We think the answer is simple, but the couple needs a little more convincing. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10492270336
    via S O C I A L . C U T For Unsplash+

  • "AITA for telling our moms they can’t join our vacation?"

    My fiancé and I are getting married in August. We are in the thick of wedding planning and stressed AF.
    via duckiedoo102
  • He travels for work and has acquired 3 free nights at any Hilton property. We booked the Waldorf Astoria in Cabo. Because he is a diamond member, we were upgraded to a massive 2.
    via duckiedoo102
  • bedroom villa (over 2500 sq feet). All for free. My dad is a FA and so we get very cheap flights there. Basically, the entire vacation will only cost us about $500.
    via duckiedoo102

    How can I hire this couple as travel agents? Asking for a friend…

  • Cheezburger Image 10492270080
    via Rafael Cisneros Méndez For Unsplash+
  • Anyway, both of our moms have asked to join. They are 60 and 70, one divorced, one widowed. We are very close with both of them and like each other's moms well enough. But ALL THEY
    via duckiedoo102
  • DO is talk about wedding planning, and them joining would obviously change the dynamic of the trip. We want to be able to have s, swim n ked, do whatever we want, and it'll be different with our moms there.
    via duckiedoo102
  • Anyway, I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I feel like we are getting this opportunity of a lifetime that they've never had and that we owe it to them to allow them to join. I also think
    via duckiedoo102

    We've all fallen victim to the curse of people pleasing tendencies.

  • having them there could be fun, in a different way. They'd have their own bedroom and could do their own thing. But my fiancé really doesn't want them joining and doesn't
    via duckiedoo102
  • want to hear about wedding stuff all vacation. Our moms have brought up a few times how they are so jealous and we are so lucky and they wish they could join, and we
    via duckiedoo102
  • sorta just laugh it off. But I feel so guilty, clearly since I'm asking here. Very curious to hear other's thoughts. Are my fiancé and I ah les for saying no?
    via duckiedoo102
  • Update: this is NOT our honeymoon. We are going to Cabo this week. It's just a random vacation to use up free Hilton nights that will be expiring soon. We will still have a proper honeymoon after our wedding.
    via duckiedoo102
  • EmceeSuzy You are NTA for saying No but how did your mothers come to know about this trip? How
    via EmceeSuzy
  • did they come to know that you would have a large accommodation? You have to learn to keep your business to yourselves.
    via EmceeSuzy
  • Spiritual_Control673 I think this is an opportunity for you to get closer with your fiance and that you want to be alone with him and he is the one you are building a life. with, not your mothers.
    via Spiritual_Control673
  • Discount_Mithral ΝΤΑ. Stop phrasing this like a vacation and start calling it a mini pre-honeymoon. Tell them that while you love them both
    via Discount_Mithral
  • dearly, and would love to plan a proper vacation that can accommodate everyone, this trip is going to be a mini pre- honeymoon and you two intend to do what newly married people do.
    via Discount_Mithral
  • Edit: Ok, so call it whatever you want besides a vacation. Your mothers are seeing this as a trip, not a romantic getaway. I could see why they would want to join a random vacation, so stop calling it that and lay down a boundary.
    via Discount_Mithral
  • Fresh_Caramel8148 "We appreciate that you want to come, but this trip is for the two of us to disconnect from daily life and reconnect as a couple.
    via Fresh_Caramel8148
  • We really need this time to ourselves. I know you can understand!" And in the future, be REALLY careful about sharing vacation info. My FIL has done this- tried to invite
    via Fresh_Caramel8148
  • himself along on trips. As such, we're pretty tight- lipped about our plans until they get REALLY close. Luckily FIL is relatively busy so if he were to find out a week or so ahead we're going somewhere, he could'nt go anyhow.
    via Fresh_Caramel8148
  • beckster 1 NTA, it's your honeymoon. Are you referring to it as a honeymoon? Or a vacation? If you've been calling it a
    via beckster_1
  • trip or vacation around them, try changing your language because it is rather awkward to ask to go on someone else's honeymoon lol. I don't think they are trying to be forward, but it might help them understand without you needing to be confrontational.
    via beckster_1
  • JenninMiami If I were your finance, I'd be absolutely LIVID that you wanted to ruin OUR vacation with not just my own mom, but my mother in law too. Mothers are a big mood killer. No one wants to have s with their mothers hanging around.
    via JenninMiami
  • squirrell1974 NTA. You have every right to do things as a couple without your parents. That would be normal adult behavior.
    via squirrell1974
  • When your parents are unable to allow you to live your own life without them there it's called enmeshment. It's not healthy for anyone involved.
    via squirrell1974
  • My brother, his wife, and their daughter traveled to France and Italy last year (we're American). My mother "couldn't stand the thought of them being all the way over there alone." So she and my stepfather
    via squirrell1974
  • went with them on their European vacation. That's enmeshment and it's unhealthy. I have three adult children, all of whom are in long term relationships. We've
    via squirrell1974
  • gone places as a family, but we all also do things with just our spouse or spouse and kids. That's healthy. Maybe suggest your mother and his mother on a trip together? go
    via squirrell1974

Tags

drama romantic honeymoon overstep relationships parenting couples mother in law mildly infuriating mil family boundaries mom entitled people vacation
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