'I really don't know her or her kids': Father tries to force his 17-year-old son to accept his new step siblings after years of reminders that he is a parental burden, teen gives him a wedding ultimatum

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 13, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Kids can be a burden to their parents sometimes, but ultimately the changes to a parent's life are severely outweighed by the infinite joy that a child brings to your life. Raising a kid solo can be especially challenging, but exponentially more rewarding if you are positive about your parental outlook. Not only was the dad in this next story a negative Norman, but he also imparted his woes on his prepubescent son, reminding him on a daily basis that he'd be 'moving on with his single life' the second his boy turned 18. 

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  • With eminent emancipation in mind for years, this same teenage boy was shocked when Dad shared the news that he'd be marrying a woman with three young children of her own, accepting those young kids as a part of the family before accepting his own bio-son.

    Keep reading for the rightfully placed teenage angst that drove a bio-son to be his dad's second choice in their family's matters and the consequences that unraveled afterward.

  • Cheezburger Image 10492893440
    via Africa Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for telling my dad he has to decide between me attending his wedding and accepting I won't take part in the family unity ceremony or accept I won't be there?
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  • My dad's engaged to his partner of 2ish years. They moved in together last month and their wedding is in December. I (17m) am dad's only bio kid. His almost wife has 3 kids of her own. Her kids are younger
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  • like under 10, maybe they're even all under 8 I'm not that sure. They decided they want to do a family unity ceremony and have it be about becoming one family instead
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    via Odua Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • of the two of them being a married couple. His future stepkids are excited by the idea and want to take part. I don't and won't take part. I already explained to him that
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  • I'm not interested and can't be talked into it. He asked me why and pushed for me to reconsider. He told his wife and she's freaking out because her kids have this idea
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  • that they'll get a big brother out of this marriage and my dad and her told the kids we'll be real siblings once the two of them are married. All of this despite the fact I really
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  • don't know her or her kids. I have really only spent any real time with the kids twice and it was more me trying not to be a than me wanting to spend time or get to
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  • know them. I think that and I think that's obvious because I don't know their actual ages. Some background to explain some relationship dynamics because I'm
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  • sure there are questions. My dad raised me alone. My mom took off when I was less than a year old. I don't remember her. I don't remember her being around. Her
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  • family wasn't around or in my life either. I didn't have a lot of family besides my dad growing up. Except for one of his siblings. And for most of my life dad was a good dad. But when I was maybe 11 he
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  • started preparing me for the fact he wanted his own life and travel the world when I turned 18 and I'd be on my own. He talked about how I should not expect to see him very often and to expect we might
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  • not see each other for years sometimes and how he doesn't want to be tied down until he dies. That he would call or answer calls when he wasn't busy with life. He said some stuff that made me
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  • believe he resented the fact he raised me alone and had to change his life for me. He never actually let up on that. He talked about it so much that we
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  • started to fight and I told him I got it and he was done being a dad at 18 and he told me I was being dramatic. I argued that he told me I could go five or maybe even more years without seeing him and he
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  • didn't want to be tied down. That he might even ignore calls so he could "live life". I told him that sounded like he wanted to stop being a dad. He told me I focused
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  • on the wrong parts. When we argued about it other times he said that he wanted the life he missed out on and he wasn't waiting around for me to be ready. That I'd land on my feet eventually and I
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  • wouldn't be his kid anymore I'd be his peer. Which he then said I picked up wrong. But basically for years I have been prepared to leave at 18 and not have my dad in it.
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  • Then he met his almost wife and all that talk about traveling the world was gone. He started to become a dad to her kids. He was spending time with them and building a life with them. Eventually he tried to
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  • include me but that was only really in the last four or five months. But I've ignored it. I did babysit twice for them. Once when his almost wife was rushed to hospital and the second time when his almost wife had a follow up surgery for health issues she has.
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  • My dad has tried to argue that our family is growing and I should be trying harder to be included in it. I told him that won't happen. And if he wants whatever half assed relationship he planned to have
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  • with me before then he needs to accept that. That I'll come to his wedding if he wants me there as long as he accepts I won't be a part of that ceremony and if he can't accept it then I won't go and he'll need to accept that.
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  • His almost wife heard us talk it out and she said I'm not taking the 11 good years into it and I'm punishing her children for my dad not being perfect and that isn't fair to them. She told me a good person would
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  • be glad dad decided to stick around and love the new people, especially the kids, and want better for them. AITA? And for full disclosure I have about a month to go until I'm 18 and my plan is to move out that day.
    via FewImpression6465
  • Ok_Childhood_9774 NTAH. Your dad set the parameters of your relationship when you were still young and drummed them into your head. Now that his priorities have changed, he acts surprised that you are not interested in a different relationship. Go live your life.
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  • SonOfSchrute NTA. Your father is a monster, and if his new wife doesn't think so after hearing what he proposed as a 'relationship' with you prior to her arrival, then she's a monster too. Leave these emotional grifters in your dust young man.
    via SonOfSchrute
  • Both-Protection-1246 Well....You've already been told you're "baggage" holding him up from his real life. You're only going to become the defacto parent for stepkids once your dad is married so he and his new
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  • wife can both "not hear from you for years" and live their life. RUN FOREST RUN! P.S. Once your dad realizes that he has to raise the new kids, he'll be out of there. Dodge the bullet now.
    via Both-Protection-1246

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family drama dads famiies drama kids brother siblings moms parenting wedding dad story family sibling sister stories parent mom cousins parents
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