Woman’s best friend secretly marries the woman she introduced him to then asks for marital advice, now she’s getting married without telling them: 'I was told it was nothing serious'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Apr 12, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Could you imagine if your best friend ran off and got married without telling you? I'd be devastated. My childhood best friend recently asked me to be her maid of honor. It felt like such a full-circle moment, especially because I introduced her to her soon-to-be husband back in college. If they'd gotten engaged, planned a whole destination wedding, and tied the knot without ever mentioning it to me, I'd feel pretty hurt. Especially since my best friend and I tell each other everything. 

Couples have the right to elope or keep things private, but when you're as close as siblings and share every detail of your lives, it's hard not to take that kind of secrecy personally. At least, that's what happened to the woman in this story. Now she's flipping the script.

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  • She introduced her childhood best friend, who she thinks of like a brother, to someone she knew, only to find out later that they got married in Bali. She found out from his mom, who called her in shock because she didn't get the invite either. But it gets worse, because there actually were people in attendance at the supposedly secret wedding. 

  • Hany Bucket த JUST marrid 3R746 Dodgs + Coronat
    via Daniel Salgado For Unspalsh+

  • "AITA for not wanting to invite my best friend and his wife to my wedding after they hid theirs from me?"

    I'm 29F my partner and I are planning to get married soon. My childhood best friend more like a brother (he is like my family) had always been a constant in my life. Over the years, he had several
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  • relationships, and I was always there for him without judgment. In December 2023, a close friend of mine from another country came to visit India. I introduced her to him casually,. They hooked up soon after, and from what I was told,
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  • it was nothing serious. They became serious. They got engaged secretly and eventually married in Bali last fall. I wasn't aware about it. In fact, no one from his family was even there. I
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  • found out because his mom, who was in shock, called me crying. She said her son had told them he was going on vacation, and then suddenly, he was married. She even asked me to be there while confronting him,
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  • Cheezburger Image 10493028352
    via Emil Widlund For Unspalsh+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subject is a model; the image does not depict the actual subject of the story.

  • but I was too stunned and emotionally drained to get involved. Meanwhile, I had always been open with them, sharing details about my own life and relationship, never once suspecting they were hiding such
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  • huge milestones. After their wedding, they started contacting me with their marital problems, hoping I could play mediator. I tried twice. I also told them I was hurt they kept everything from me. They
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  • apologized and said they wanted to keep things private (even though everyone from her side of the family was there) thanked me for introducing them. Apparently, her family feels conscious around
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  • people from my country, so they decided not to invite anyone. I accepted their apology, but emotionally, something had shifted. Then, on my 29th birthday, they both forgot to wish me not
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  • that I was expecting much. But what really hit me was that they called me on that very day to ask for help resolving an argument. About food. That's when I realized how little they respected my time, or maybe even
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  • me. I told them, kindly but firmly, that I have my own life and don't want to be bothered with their trivial issues. After that, we didn't speak. Until three days ago when they both called, crying, saying they
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  • realized how selfish they'd been and how much they missed me. They asked if we could reconnect when they're in India next. I just told them I was busy and left it at that.
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  • Now here's the thing I'm planning my wedding. And a part of me feels no desire to tell them at all. Not out of spite, but because I finally understand the value of emotional boundaries.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10493028608
    via AÉNL Weddings For Unspalsh+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They made a deliberate choice to exclude me from the most important moment in their lives. Why should I feel guilty about doing the same? Still, I'm human and there's a little guilt creeping in. They cried.
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  • They apologized. But AITAH for not wanting to tell them about my wedding? Or is it just me finally choosing. myself after years of one- sided loyalty?
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  • grayblue_grrl Always choose peace. ALWAYS. NTA
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  • Suspicious_Lock_527 Nah, you're not the AH at all. Honestly, it sounds like you were always the one showing. up in that friendship, and they
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  • only came around when they needed something. They made a conscious choice to keep you out of their biggest moment, and now that it's your turn, you're under no obligation to include them.
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  • Crying and apologizing doesn't undo the fact that they consistently disregarded your feelings and time. It's okay to protect your peace. Weddings are for celebrating with
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  • people who genuinely love and respect you― not those who treat you like a backup therapist. Choose you.
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  • Werewolvesarebetter NTA. I often see people saying, "Be the bigger person." But why? What does that accomplish? The person who behaved badly, selfishly,
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  • arrogantly, thoughtlessly, or whatever has no consequences and never learns from their mistakes. Meanwhile, the wronged person still feels like hl, because nothing was ever resolved. Get married with the
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  • people who genuinely love and respect you around you. If the question of why you didn't invite your "friend" and his wife comes up, just say, "We didn't think you'd want to
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  • attend, since you assumed we didn't want to attend yours." Or just give them the hairy eyeball. That generally works.
    via Werewolvesarebetter

Tags

friendship relationship advice secret drama best friends brother childhood marry married life parenting wedding family entitled people betrayal
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