29-year-old stepmother confronted by having to watch her husband's 11, 7, and 6-year-old children so that he can attend his friend's bachelor party: 'I told him that I can’t because I have to go to the gym [...] and honestly, I just don’t want to'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 16, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

There's something about marrying someone who has children and not having the barest expectation that you're going to be looking after them at some point… like, that's crazy. When you marry someone who has three children you might best be prepared for the eventuality that you're going to be taking care of them, either now or at some point in the future. There should at least be a point before the wedding takes place where you have that conversation, it doesn't matter that he said that he "Isn't looking for a mom for his kids," as an adult around children you're going to have to take on a role of responsibility even out of sheer proximity. It's easy to get that, at 29 years old some people might not feel they're ready for that responsibility, but then you probably shouldn't be marrying someone with three children from a previous marriage.

Still, they're her husband's kids and he ultimately needs to handle the responsibility of having them, which means planning in advance. If he needed to be away for the weekend he definitely should have arranged something or had the conversation with her long before the upcoming weekend…

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  • 01

    "AITAH for refusing to babysit my husbands kids so he can have some time off?"

    My 29f husband 34m has three kids from a prior marriage. 11m,7m,6m. They are absolutely terrors, as both of their parents have struggled to agree with parenting and rules. When I met my husband four years ago, he stated that he isn't looking for a mom for his kids. His kids have two parents, and he's looking for a wife for himself. I like kids but I've never wanted any of my own. I
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10494324992
    via Diana Light

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    was open to the idea of him having kids. Back when we dated, he had the kids on weekends. Things were fine with them. He never expected anything from me regarding the kids. I told him I'm not interested in babysitting, and he said he'd never ask me to. He'll just hire his niece to babysit if he needs a babysitter.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 04
    Long story short, in the last year they've moved from weekends to fifty-fifty. Since the kids are old enough to not need their mom as much, this was always the plan. One parent has the kids for a whole week, and other has the kids the next week. Husband lost his job and got a new job that pays less. Niece also went off to college.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 05
    Husband can't afford any of the local babysitters because they charge quite frankly a lot. The kids are terrors so babysitting does not come cheap. Husband is also now making less money. This weekend was his friends bachelor party. Husband is a groomsman and was expected to attend. Last minute he asked me to watch the kids for the entire weekend so he can attend this event. He thought it would be no big deal, and I would definitely agree.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 06
    I was kind of miffed that he waited to last minute to ask me. I told him that I can't because I have to go to the gym, and I have brunch plans with my mother. And honestly, I just don't want to. Sounds like a good way to ruin an otherwise good weekend. Also, why would I watch the kids so their dad can go get plastered and ogle strippers with his friends? No thank you. Not like it was an emergency or something.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 07
    Dan was very upset because he couldn't go. I brought up the fact that before we got married he told me he wouldn't expect me to watch the kids ever. He seem surprised because he thought I would've changed my mind. I told him I'd watch them if there was an emergency, but otherwise no. I didn't have kids because I didn't want the responsibility of them.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 08
    I like his kids. I cook for them sometimes. And take them out to do stuff occasionally. I show up to their sports games. But this is for me and the kids. I would say that they all really like me, because I don't try to meddle and pretend to be their mom. I'm their dad's wife that they like. I love Dan but I think he needs to not try to shirk his responsibility as a father. He signed up for this. Having kids means you don't always get to do the things you want to do. AITAH?
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 09
    Edit: Their mom won't switch weekends with my husband. She makes plans for the weekends when my husband has the kids. She's not going to cancel her plans last minute because he doesn't have a babysitter and wants to go out with his friends.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 10
    id12345678910 NTA. He waited until the last minute so there wouldn't be time to discuss other options that would be more expensive or inconvenient for him.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 11
    ProfessorDistinct8... NTA. If he has the money for the Batchelor party and strippers, he has the money for a sitter.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 12
    Beautiful-Elephant.. NTA. "He seemed surprised because he thought I would've changed my mind." This right here tells me everything I need to know OP. Stick to your boundaries OP. Your husband was trying to pull a fast one on you by waiting until the last minute thinking that his urgency was also your urgency.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 13
    Medium-Fudge459 Bhahaha this man has 13 more years of children at home. You are in for a long ride.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 14
    Quiet-Hamster6509 It's only going to get worse. He won't want to handle the permanent 50/50 parenting load and he'll start to say that if you love him you'll help with his kids. This marriage won't last. Good luck.
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 15
    aztex_tiger NTA But girl really? You really thought this conversation. would NEVER happen? You should have seen this coming a mile away
    via aitahhusbandskids
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10494324736
    via Joshua Rawson-Harris

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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family dynamics family drama stepmother aita AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family reddit thread parent raising kids parents children
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