Oli the Chill Chonk Chucks Out the Cat Child Cookbook and Raids the Fridge Instead

Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor

Apr 17, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Chonks are quite the curious kind of cat. While their breeds may differ, something about their size unites them. Purrhaps it is the never ending quest for quiznos, or that they speak to each other with the thuds they make as they leap off of countrers. But whatever it is, a chonk is a chonk and they all know it. But one chonk in pawticular, Oli, has had enough with the classy chonk life, cooking gourmet meals to satisfy his hunger and instead is flipping the script and making a beeline for the fridge.

And we figured that this auspicious occasion and the significant step in feline evolution should be documented for future generations to learn from and to understand why in their time all chonky cat children eat directly from the fridge.

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Hmm, well this is quite the conundrum. Because if you were to choose dinner with oli the chonky cat child, then you would be on the hook for a 100k food bill. So what do you do? Risk financial collapse or take the money and miss out on what could be the meal of a lifetime?
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Well with that look you most certainly have to be careful of where you point it, because anyone who falls under such a strict gaze is sure to crumble under the weight of this chonky cat child’s will. We hope, for this pawrent’s sake, that they handed over the lasagne quick sharp.
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