Friendship group falls apart before a big vacation, leading one friend to cancel everyone's hotel rooms without a word: ‘I do not want to stay at the same hotel as them’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 23, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

When you enter a new romantic relationship, one one the main things people warn you about is the idea of scheduling something months in advance before you are sure the relationship is serious. You don't invite a potential boyfriend or girlfriend to your sibling's wedding in September before you are sure they are actually going to be there in September, right? Seems like basic relationship logic. 

Apparently, the same logic also applies to some friendships.

Even though, in most cases, friendships are much more stable than relationships, scheduling something months in advance is also tricky for some friend groups. If something happens within the group, and the trip is no longer something everyone wants to be a part of, canceling it or changing it might be pretty annoying, and can lead to even more drama among the (now ex) friends.

So, how does one know whether they should or should not book something in advance with their friends?

Well, one does not know; it's a leap of faith. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose, just like the friend in the story below…

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  • The friends in the story below booked a vacation to go see a concert together months in advance, and none of them saw the dramatic crumbling of their friendship coming. Now, six months after it happened, their vacation is getting closer, leading one friend to take action towards canceling it.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story.

  • 01
    "Grow a backbone and let them deal with the consequences"
    via FilippoBacci

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "WIBTA for cancelling a hotel booking I made with people I no longer speak to anymore?"

    I (20f) made a hotel booking for myself, my sister (15f) and three other girls (20f) back in October for a concert in June. However, since December, I had an argument with one of
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    the girls that lead to her ignoring me and no longer speaking to me - with the other two seemingly taking her side and the three of them ostracising me from the group.
    via Dense_Fig1861
  • 04
    This lead to me moving out of the flat we shared and since then none of them have attempted to contact me and seem to just get angry with me over every little thing I do. I
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    tried multiple times to apologise and amend things with them, which only resulted in them either ignoring me or dismissing the issue as nothing and pretending nothing was wrong.
    via Dense_Fig1861
  • 06
    That was a very, very shortened summary of what happened, and I've come to the conclusion that I do not want to make amends with these
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    people and do not want to speak to them anytime soon for the way they've treated me. Here's the big issue: I do not want to stay at the same hotel
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    as them for this concert in June. The advice I've received from almost everyone in my life is to cancel the booking and rebook another hotel for me and my sister - they think
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    it's an appropriate response to the way they've treated me these past six months. I don't like this option because I would feel obliged to tell them that I'm cancelling the
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    booking, which undoubtedly start an argument that I'm not mentally prepared to handle. It's a refundable, pay on the day booking that can be
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    cancelled up to a week before the stay I booked two rooms, one for my sister and I and the other for them. My initial plan. was to cancel one of the rooms and transfer the booking of the
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    other room to them, however I've been told that my card will still be attached to the booking and that it might not even be possible to do this without talking to any of them about it.
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    I'm starting now to want to cancel the booking all together and book something else for my sister and I, as I know for a fact they will not sort anything out for themselves or talk to
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    me about this until the very last minute. A lot of people have been telling me I need to grow a backbone and let them deal with the consequences of
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    refusing to comminicate with for over half a year now. WIBTA for doing this? Happy to give more context.
    via Dense_Fig1861
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    Cheezburger Image 10496164352
    via Tarzan9280
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    Jocelyn-1973 Cancel it, but tell them when you will do that. Like: 'I will cancel the hotelroom on Thursday at 6 PM, so if you want to make your own reservations, you can contact the hotel before
    via Jocelyn-1973
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    then and ask them to hold the room for you. Or if you prefer, you can make other arrangements for yourselves. I don't need an answer to this message - I trust you are now informed.' NTA.
    via Jocelyn-1973
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    RoseOfTheWest93 Info: have they paid you for their share of the booking? If they have, cancel the booking, let them know and send the money back to them.
    via RoseOfTheWest93
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    If not, just cancel and let them know. If your card is the one attached to the room, you are at risk of not being paid back for that room and also could be at risk of extra charges: drinks from the mini fridge, any damages, possibly even
    via RoseOfTheWest93
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    meals and drinks from the bar/restaurant if they can add it to the room's tab. You absolutely do not want to have their room under your name and card. Edited to add: NTA
    via RoseOfTheWest93
  • 22
    Dense_Fig1861 OP No, there's been no payment been taken yet as its simply a booking that we will pay for in person on the day we arrive. However I'm pretty certain I gave my card details for the booking. Never thought about how the extra charges would be put on my card, thanks for that.
    via Dense_Fig1861
  • 23
    biscuitsandgravy-0 If it makes you feel better, cancel and let them know. But if they've refused communication, then that is reasonable to do. You have yours and your sister's concert tickets right?
    via biscuitsandgravy-0
  • 24
    Dense_Fig1861 OP Yes, I have my sister and I's tickets. This is the general advice I've received, although I've also been told I would be an a h le for simply cancelling the booking and not giving them the chance to ask for the booking to be transferred to them or talk to me about the issue. Do you think this is the case?
    via Dense_Fig1861
  • 25
    gringaellie Nope, they're not talking to you they can't expect anything from you. You can message them all "Just to let you know that I've cancelled the hotel booking for X concert. If you are still going, you will need to arrange your own hotel." That way it's not a last-minute shock to them.
    via gringaellie
  • 26
    CSurvivor9 NTA Just cancel it. I'm willing to bet they have something else already booked and were willing to let you pay for a room for nothing. If they want nothing to do with you, they certainly weren't going to buddy up to you to get the keys to the room at check on time.
    via CSurvivor9

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friendship aita hotel cancelled concert dispute reservation friends reddit story girls hotel room sister Reddit roommates women vacation
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