16-year-old daughter refuses dad's visits after 14-year-old stepsister insists on being a part of their meetings in an attempt to bond: ‘He's my dad, you've got your own’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 24, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Having a younger sibling often means that you are constantly living with someone who attempts to become your shadow. These younger siblings start with good intentions–they look up to their older sibling, and want to bond with them, and yes, even be like them. But for the older siblings, having this shadowy presence usually gets quite tiring, pretty fast. They might care for their excited younger siblings, but that doesn't mean they want to see them everywhere they go, without ever being left alone in peace.

Everyone needs their own space, enough to allow themselves to grow and evolve without the eyes of someone else on them, regardless of who that person might be. This definitely applies to younger siblings, parents, or any other member of their family or friends.

The daughter in the story below wanted a chance to form a relationship with her dad, even though he is out of the family picture. However, she did not want her 14-year-old stepsister to insist on being there as she bonds with her dad, and she made sure the younger sibling knew that.

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  • This led to quite a family dispute, as the 14-year-old took offense at her sister's refusal to let her bond, and their mom got involved, trying to make her younger daughter happy.

    When the 16-year-old's only solution was to tell her dad to stop visiting, the situation got even more out of hand…

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    Cheezburger Image 10496902656
    via Suze777

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for telling my sister that my dad isn’t her dad?"

    so me (16f) and my sister (14f) let's call her rosie have different dads, our mom and my dad split up a while ago and my mom got with her dad when i was 2
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    because she was pregnant with rosie, my dad was devastated and tried to yknow. my mom got full custody of me and i always resented rosie and my
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    stepdad for that. my stepdad was never a bad father always spoiling rosie and wanting to spend time with her, which led to her becoming very bratty. my
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    dad only just came back into my life a couple of months ago as the court ruled for visits every week, my dad would always try and do something special
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    just for us two but rosie would always join. my dad was stunned and asked my mother privately and politely if she could stop her but my mom refused
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    and my dad was much too polite to ask rosie to leave directly and i got really angry every time she ruined our special visits that i asked my dad to stop coming, he was
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    heartbroken but i couldn't take her ruining our trips and i was mad at my dad for not stopping her. when rosie asked when my dad was coming to take us out
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    again i snapped and told her that my dad isn't her dad and that she's got her own. she ran out crying and my mom said that she was only trying to bond with me. so AITA?
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    EDIT: my dad never chose not to stop seeing me he was seemed not fit by a court because of what he tried to do to himself when my mom cheated on him.
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    my stepdad isn't ab`e or even re to me at all but he's not like a dad and i don't treat him like one and he lets rosie do what he wants. this isn't the first time i've told rosie to stop
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    coming with us, i've told her about 5 other seperate times politely, she only wants to come because my dad takes me to places like disney land. or nice restaurants and she said "it isn't fair" my mom tells
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    me to sit up and stop acting like a child and i told her to control her child and she told me to bond with my sister, to me rosie isn't my sister she's my moms spoiled
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  • 14
    bratty affair child who won't get anywhere in life. i don't bond with my family at all, my family don't celebrate my birthdays or take me out
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    places. all i had was my dad. i told him why i wanted to stop the visit and rosie knows why: trying to think of a solution.
    via Impressive_Fish_8296
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    Cheezburger Image 10496902912
    via sweetlouise

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    TofuPropaganda NTA, but you should reach out to your dad and let him know the reason behind why you asked him to stop visiting if he doesn't know already.
    via TofuPropaganda
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    Your mom is failing both you and Rosie by not having better boundaries. You deserve alone time with your dad, you could set aside time to bond with Rosie that doesn't include your dad, as
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    he has no bearing within her life and shouldn't be forced to take her. I'd suggest trying to talk to your mom about this stating that you want to
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    bond with your dad, Rosie is preventing that. Instead you can suggest an outing for you, Rosie and your mom to her.
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    FairieWarrior NTA. Can't your dad just take you somewhere without her? Just leave her at home and if your mom says that you can't leave without her, just get your dad to tell the courts that she is interfering with his court appointed visitation
    via FairieWarrior
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    Agreeable_Mess_778 There is so much to unpack here, but to me NTA, just because you're young and seem to have been treated very badly by all of the adults in your life.
    via Agreeable_Mess_778
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    The idea that you would be expected to keep a secret of this magnitude when your biological father came back into your life is preposterous. Naturally you wanted to get
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    to know your father, and the presence of a third party threatened that. Regardless of the past, the two of you were put in a very difficult position.
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    I hope you have a good relationship with your sister and you can both weather. this storm. Your sister might be hurting now, but at least it's all out in the open. To me
    via Agreeable_Mess_778
  • 26
    it's better this way. You're both at a very vulnerable stage in your lives and I wish you luck in navigating this situation.
    via Agreeable_Mess_778
  • 27
    twirlandswirl I mean, you're acting like a teenager, but you ARE a teenager. I'd try to pursue a relationship with your father, if you're interested in one, at least via phone/text until you have more control over the situation.
    via twirlandswirl

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family drama step sister aita kids mother sisters teenagers siblings reddit story parenting family sister stepdad daughter Reddit parents children Father
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