Parents demand 16-year-old treat his 12-year-old stepsister the same as his 13 and 11-year-old sisters: 'He said my stepsister could be my chosen sister and instead I act like she's a lesser one'

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    "AITA for not looking out for my younger stepsister the way I look out for my sisters?"

    My parents are divorced and share custody of me (16m) and my two sisters (13 and 11). My dad's remarried and my stepmom has a daughter (12). When I turned 16 I started spending more time at my mom's house. I hated the weekly change of house and struggled to adjust to it so choosing one house to be home was always going to happen. I
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    don't see my stepsister as much because of that and I never was close to her so I don't really care about seeing her less. My dad's bugged me before about being close to my sisters but not my stepsister and he's tried to make me treat them all the exact same. Like if I hug my sisters I'd need to hug my stepsister, if I spend time with my sisters I should spend time with my stepsister too. He thought I should be making the
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    effort to be present for my stepsister even if I was at mom's house. Say she had a recital while we were with mom. He expected me to show up and cheer her on anyway. I never did that stuff but to not be an a to her I didn't rub her nose in my love for my sisters.
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    Last year one of my sisters was going through some stuff with a kid in her grade and I found out about it and helped her get to the point where she told both our parents. I helped end it too by speaking to the kids sibling who's in some of my classes. It was going on for a while and I felt guilty because my sisters always tell me stuff and I wondered if I'd made her feel like she couldn't tell me. My mom reassured me a lot that it wasn't my fault.
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    My dad and stepmom found out my stepsister was dealing with a similar situation and they stepped in and figured it out. My dad asked me why I hadn't known and hadn't figured it out. He told me I found out about it when it was my sister. He said if I was a good brother I'd have known about my stepsister too. He told me this was just proof I treat her like sh compared to them. He told me I felt so guilty for not knowing about my sister sooner but he knew I didn't feel guilty for not knowing about
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    When I was at dad's house last he told me I should stay longer and be there for my stepsister. That I should be there for her as much as I was my sister and he told me I should be looking out for all three as sisters and not just two. He talked about being disappointed in me and stuff.
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    My mom and him had a few fights about it too and she said dad was being spiteful. He said that's what I'm being by looking out for two and not all three. He said my stepsister could be my chosen sister and instead I act like she's a lesser one. He blamed me for the stuff happening with her because he said if I looked out for her it never would have happened. AITA?
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    Eastern_Conditi... .7h ago "He said my stepsister could be my chosen sister" Except YOU didn't chose her. NTA, but your dad is a massive one. Parents who try to force relationships with step sibling and putting that burden on kids are always AHS.
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    InfiniteWelder513 6h ago Ask your father how he managed to notice what was going on with his stepdaughter but not his actual daughter.... A bit hypocritical don't you think. NTA
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    Cute-Profession... .7h ago Sounds like dad is doing his damndest to make sure you don't want to come around at all
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    judging 7h ago NTA Some people aren't - even their for their blod sisters, so I commend you for being the good brother you are for your sisters.. You shouldn't be forced in to having a certain type of relationship with anyone. What your dad needs to realize is he CHOSE to marry her mother and have her be his bonus daughter, but you didn't chose or want her to be and he can't force her onto you.
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    • Squinky75 6h ago NTA. "He blamed me for the stuff happening with her because he said if I looked out for her it never would have happened." YOU are not her parent. That is too much responsibility for you. Your father and stepmother are the ones who fell down on the job.

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